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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Note: this application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, license, and current medical report from your doctor. Please be prepared to submit additional information if you pass this first inquiry (i.e. psychological evaluation, polygraph, ECT.)
1. Name______________________________
Date of birth__________________
2. Height___________ weight____________ IQ_________ GPA______________
3. Social security#__________________ Drivers license#__________________
4. Boy scout rank:__________________________
5.Home address_______________________________________________
City____________________________State_____________Zip______________
6. Do you have one FEMALE and one MALE parent? Yes______ No_______
If NO, explain_____________________________________________________
7. How fast can you run 40 yards? __________
How fast can you run 2mi? ______________
8. Do you own a van? _______ A truck with oversized tires? _________
A waterbed? __________ Do you have an earring, nose ring,
Or naval ring? _________________ Tattoo?______________________
9. In 50 words or less, what does DONT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
10. In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
11. In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________.
12. When would be the best time to call your father, or your mother?___________________.
13. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely- all answers are confidential.
A. if I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is:____________________________
B. if I were to beaten, the last bone in my body I want broken is:____________________________
C. A womans place is in the_____________________________
D. the one thing I hope this application doesnt ask is____________________
E. In the event of my untimely death, I want my ashes scattered__________________________________________________________
F. My greatest fear is_____________________________________________
G. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is_______________________________________________________________
(note: if G begins with a T or A, discontinue and leave, keeping your head low and running in a zigzag fashion is recommended)
14. Want do want to be IF you grow up?_______________________________
15. Have you ever been fingerprinted?_________________________________
16. Has a DNA sample been taken and recorded?_________________________
17. My dentist is__________________________________________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS CORRECT AND TRUE TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH; DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANY TORTURE, CRUCIFICTION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND A KISS FROM ELIZABETH DOLE.
Signed_________________________
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing, You will be contacted in writing IF you are approved. Please do not try to call or write, as your actions may negatively influence the judge. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carry violin cases.
 D0N3 · Fri Jan 26, 2007 @ 06:41am · 0 Comments |
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