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-Confucius had his Analects and I have my journal-
A myriad of thoughts
I want to let you know you mean alot to me
But for many reasons
I couldn't tell you if I tried
Whenever I hear your voice
Or even think I'm going to see your face
These words that I've longed to tell you
Are left in my heart
Because my fear is wrapping it's hands around me neck
And takes my breath away before I can tell you
And I can't muster the courage to even say hello anymore
Even though you haven't heard from me in a while
I'm making sure you are okay
And I'll rush to your side
Should you ever cry for help
You'll never know how much you mean to me
Until I can overcome my fear
And say it all.

You've changed
I still feel the same way about you
But the way you've changed
It's hard to hear you at all
It's like your strong vivid voice
Has been weathered to a drowned out whisper
You rarely say anything
And I'm so excited when you say hello back
But that peak of excitement is as far as you're willing to go
From then on you use one word "sentences"
You become slient
And you leave
I still have so many things I want to tell you
So many things I want to hear from you
But..I don't know if you're a lost cause
Or just not you right now
You're worrying me
And I want you to see this
I want to read this and tell me that I'm foolish for thinking this way
But the chances of that are low
I know you know I love you
But it's hard to tell that you still might

I never knew how little I meant to you
How you could lie about my value to you?
Does it make you feel big to know you've hurt me?
Do you get your kicks by tracing the tear marks on my face?
Or is it you're so dark and ugly that you need someone to join your suffering?
I'm so close to hating you
How could you?
Sleepless days and nights, thinking about tommorow with you
Now have transitioned into
Sleepless days and nights thinking about what I could have possibly done
How could I let you be so important to me?
It's not fair, becuase I'm nothing to you
And you know what makes me so stupid?
I'd still do anything for you to make sure you're okay
I don't think that'll ever change

I don't want to remember
I can't
The moment it all ended is when a new beginning started
I tried my hardest to forget it all
To make it all seem small and insginifcant
Just another event in my life
Something we all go through
But you haunt me in my daydreams
You turn my smiles into hollow cheek liftings
You managed to change me..
I have to act happy
When I'm really about to break down
The moment you made me smile
Is the moment I should have walked away
It's that same smile that haunts me now

His hands as rough as sandpaper
His skin
smooth like glass
His eyes
Black like a starless night
His heart
As welcoming as heaven's gates
His love
As sweet a molases
His smile
As pure and white
As clouds on a sunny day
He is
As perfect as they get.






User Comments: [1] [add]
Shumari
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat May 05, 2007 @ 12:17am
WOW.....This seems like a really powerful piece.....At first, it sounded like the first two stanzas alternated between two people, but then as I read on, I corrected my mistake. All of your poems are beautiful pieces of poetry that I could never measure up to even if I try.....You did a really great job xp


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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