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Lady_of_sorrow's Journal I'm a 16 year old girl and the eldest child in a very VERY disfunctional family of six. This will be a recolection of what goes on in my life but names will be changed for obvious reasons.


Lady_of_sorrow
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Easter
Posting for Easter!!! Happy Easter peoples




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Life sucks
My life sucks so from now on, I'm going to use my journal to write storys and such though they will be PG-13 or lower. My parents always said my lived in my own little world. I might as well share it with those who will read it.



Lady_of_sorrow
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Lady_of_sorrow
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Afterwards
kk, I went for kemo theropy not long ago for my over-active thyroid(I had this giant lump in my throat because of it). Now I'm stuck on pills for the rest of my life because the kemo made it go under-active and I have to have blood-work done every 6 months for the rest of my life. I HATE NEEDLES!!! and they want me to take them for the rest of my life? R THEY NUTZ?!?!?! I'd rather have the giant lump. It wasn't hurting me really but the pills they gave me are really messing me up. I'm always cold, I'm always hungry(thankfully I'm good at making sure I don't eat too much), and it's recked havoc on my nerves. Doctors are crack-pots and should all go to hell. They actually messed my kemo dose with another little boy's so he had an overdose of it. I mean come on, does it really take that much to read the labels and make sure ppl get they're approprate dose?




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Granddad
It's been almost a month my grandfather died. But to me, it's like it happened yesterday. I was in issolation for the weekend for kemo when my father told me that my granfather died that morning. It was weird, I felt as though my heart was being strangled and it was hard to breathe(it still is just thinking about it) but I didn't cry. I couldn't. I needed to be strong. My mom was a wreck and so were my siblings. I was strong on the outside but on the inside I died. He had taken care of me as a child, he was the one I could always talk to. Now he's gone. I'm alone and no one cares. I cry at nite when no one can hear me. What do u do when the one who's meant the world to you dies? How do u make the pain go away? They say time heals all wounds but it's hurting me more. I can't accept it, I feel like that would mean I'm forgetting him or something. My family had gone down to see him a week before it happened and I couldn't even go in the hospital room. My aunts had made me go in the room when we first came down and I could barely look at him. He didn't look like my granddad. He was hooked up to a bunch of machines and his feet were swelled. I ran from the room and no one could get me back in there, though everyone tried exept my mom. She understood. My cousin even tried to guilt trip me into going in there but I couldn't and I came so close to smacking her it wasn't funny. What's a girl to do when her world comes crashing down around her?



Lady_of_sorrow
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dev1



Lady_of_sorrow
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Rainy Day
Over the weekend it was raining like hell and I had to walk in it. It was either that or stay at home w/ a house full of lil kiddies. I walked to my friends house 40 minutes away then waited for her to come home cuz she tryed to meet me half way but we passed each other at some point. When she came back, we played a game of chess then asked my mom if she could spend the nite. When we were about to leave though, her mom asked if we would drop off some money to a friend of hers. We did, we walked for like 30-45 minutes in a heavy down-pour then when we made it, the friend hugged me and kissed my hand. I almost freaked (When some guy u've never met before starts hugging u and kissing ur hands u tend to freak out). We took a cab home which I had to pay for and came home to an empty house (mom took the kids to the santa claus parade). For sleeping arangements that nite, I slept on a bean bag chair. funness.




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mine
Has anyone ever been given something by their 'rents but then they took it away from u or made u let ur siblings use it? I have with almost all my stuff. They gave me a basketball for christmas one year and then it was "share w/ ur sisters and brother." Then my old toys and stuffies. Then my tv. Then any money, candy, etc. i have. Now I have to share my computer w/ the whole family cuz my dad got a virus in his. I hate them all sometimes.



Lady_of_sorrow
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dev1



Lady_of_sorrow
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stupid 'rents
My parents have go to be 2 of the stupidest ppl anyone could ever meet. They completely freaked at me cuz I only got a 70 in math class and cuz I got a 65 in physics which wasn't really my fault considering that my class includes 11u, 12c and 12u which is splitting the class apart and the fact that our teacher isn't even a physics teacher doesn't help either. Also, all the teachers have been telling the classes that the curiculem is too hard and even the teachers have to learn the stuff as they're giving it to us. U think my rents would see reason though, NOOO not them. Now I'm stuck spending an hour of my time after school studying at home and they wont even let me listen to music while I do it. My rents totally suck.




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A typical school day
ok, first I was late meeting my friend at school cuz I carpool and one of our pick-ups was late getting ready(again), then got confused in math class cuz we've been learning something all week and we have a test tomorrow but the teacher started teaching us something new today that wont be on it. how stupid are these teachers anyway? For science my teacher has been assigning us work out of the textbook so we can teach ourselves but the work isn't even going to be marked or anything, we just have a 10 question assignment due monday. Stupid teacher doesn't even know I spent the entire class reading fanfics online and playing on gaia. My next class is tutering and I don't even do anything in that class except giving the odd bit of help to my buddy. But if I do something productive (heaven forebid) I get in trouble. For my last class I have computers which is so much fun cuz my teacher calls me stupid even though he's the one handing out "review" that half the class knows nothing about. He says I don't do any work when it's hard when he never tells me what I'm supposed to be doin' and then gets pissed off cuz I'm online doin' other work. Why do we even go to school? Someone please answer me this.



Lady_of_sorrow
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dev1



Lady_of_sorrow
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Halloween
(please remember that all names are changed and excuse my spelling)
Halloween has always been my fav. holiday but there are times when I wonder why. Take last halloween for example. I spent the whole day running around trying to talk to my mom but whenever I came around, she was running out the door or just completely ignored me. Then that night, I had to listen to my dad yell and scream about the fact that my sis "Angel" and I didn't carve the pumpkin while he and my mom were out even though we didn't know we were supposed to. He and my mom had just left us to babysit my other sis "Elle" and my bro "Duckie". So my parents left and when they came home we got in more trouble because we didn't make dinner. We didn't even know what was for dinner. I ended up being late meeting my friend and only 2 ppl liked my costume. I didn't even get a good amout of candy. That night I could sleep either, I was dead tired but I was also wired from the 2 cans of coke I had before bed. Well, at least I gat some exersize.




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