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Greenshock792's Journal
hey every body my day today is cool and pm me if u want to be my friend
Gaia has become my mirror. A reflection of what i speak to myself about. Of what i wish i could be or was. I talk to myself. Make my avatar in "fit" condition. Who am I really? I feel like i'm just thousand of wishes and wants, tons of thoughts and ideas, loads of feelings and heart, all wrapped in a body and given life. I dont get much attention unless i work for it. I have little natural beauty. I have a great personality but its masked behind this morbidly obese body. Here lies a man who wishes he was everything, but is nothing. I am indeed the one people call Martin, but a name is just a name. I'm a lover, a give love in such tremendous amounts that many can't take in and regard as smothering. I trust others, as much as they trust me. I smile, well my mask does at least. I know what happens inside of your mind. If there was one thing i was good at it would be knowing the difference between being told the truth and a lie. The fact that i have eyes ans ears only improves this. I know the answer to a question i ask, yet I must here it from you. Whoever you are. My lover, my friend, a family member. Search yourself before you search me. Lower your self esteem so much, make its weight so grand you sink to my level. Hello. At this very moment i have no very important reason as to why i am up at this hour. But what brings me here, is the waiting of other half. But not in person, no. but through communication. Yet after hours and hours of waiting. I begin to remember all of the feelings, the emotions, the reasons, the purposes that make me sad. It's not her. No not at all, she has no clue. She'd never hurt me on purpose. But subconsciously she wounds me at times. So caught up in something i become a convenience. Yet when I am forced into the situation i do my best to get her out of it, for i know the pain it yields after lengths of time. I'm still here, i'm sure she knows that...I'm still here...

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