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PrincessX
Why is every affair in matters of the heart so hard to face?
Dear Diary,
This mourning it was cold. The misty rain was lightly feathering my face, but I was so warm it evaporated away.In the distance, in the dark in clouded atomosphere, the charoitt driver's wheels came to a schreeching halt. His horses's feet stomped, and I could hear him coming again. He' be here soon, I had thought, than I can join my piers.I wonder what today brings in it's wake....

With love and exhaustion,
XOXO vv PrinCess X
___________________________________________________________________

...Continued
So many people fighting for my loyality, it's maddening. My heart is being pulled in so many diffrent direction I fear it will rip. I don't know what to do with love...
Cockroach told y red prince that he was a bad boyfriend to I, not only that but the other day she was completely obserd.
Sometimes whenboys play they insult each others members lengenth and size.... well,*cough* they boys were, being boys, and said that my red prince had a wee member and so Cockroach came over and said that "Why would anyone want to be with you?! Espically with a tiny d**k. And anyways why would you want to loose your virginity to ,*she rolled her eyes, pointing over at me at me(I KNOW A COCKROACH ROLLING HER EYES AT A PRINCESS!!! SGE SHOULD BE HANGGED!!!)*, that"
He said well one that I must like him being his girla and two, who wouldn't want to be with me (I AM A VIRGIN) unlike her.
Then today, I was mad because I'm one, emotionally unstable, and two, we were argueing. Well she comes over talking to him, so I just stright up walk away. When I come back he said that her parasite-aness had inquired that he speak with me to, patch things up. She said that he was a bad boyfriend. WHICH he isn't, he's a wonderful boyfriend.
When he holds my hand I feel the most wonderful of sensations. I feel tingly all over and just wish that the moment would last forever. I never feel human contact anymore and I really need that...
it makes me sad though that I don't know what to do. I wish someone would help me down from this tower from which I am captive... If I jump I might not land safely.
But mabey, noone cares...

With love Broken Hearted,
XOXO vv PrinCess X



~XOXOVV



Three Entries Today: Everything comes in threes...
Dear Diary,
The dark knight flatters me with words and embraces me with false love.
My red prince is known amoungist my poeple, and tis' laughed at by my family. He wishes to come to mt new castle to assist us in our leave to there. Though I have my doubts...
Last knight, while talking with my heart, I had the strangest sensation of butterflies whose fluttering wings made me smile, something i'm not accustum to doing.
After that I spoke a word with my dark knight.Even though he pretends to care and pretends to listen, even pretending he hears me.
He rambled off again that he loved me and then scolded me for just passing it off. After of which, when our talk had ended, he called me several pet names, though I am not his I am my prince's, hopefully forever, though that may not be so.
I wish to go to the homecoming ball. If I am not worn to deepl to the bone after the parade, and the tournment, and I wish to go alongside my red prince, that is, if fate allows.
I also wish to attend the midnight ball of prom, at the vol castle. my mother, the queen, attended it every year when in the prime of her youth. Though it is months away I still wish to plan ahead. My dark knight, who is of age to go, could take me for I shan't go alone from lack of years. And my red prince could go with his sister, the princess of red, and then him and I could dance the night away from there.
I just worry my night will fall into shambles if my dark knight believes that I wnet with him soully to be with him and discovers other wise.

with love and kisses,
XOXOvv
PrinCess X
____________________________________________________________________

...Continued
48. My new favoriate number. The number to my dark knight.
Have you ever tasted a tear? The ones that slide down you cheek that cool in the breeze befor they lightly moisten your lips are salty. Bitter. It's because they, in there short time here in our realm, have been tainted, by hatetred. The other tears, the ones you wipe away and taste from your fingers are sweet. Pure sadness and stright from within your heart.
I do try, to be a good daughter, i'm just not good at it.I am a virgin. I hate to lie, to gossip. I love to hold secrets in my heart, it gives a purpose for going on in life. I may not have a job, for lack of age, but I do offer. I may not have much to give but I do try to give or help, or try, at least.
I don't need shiny things; All I need is love. I'd give them away, but then i'd be being ungrateful for all the hard work you put into them.

sorry I don't understand,

sorry i'm not better,

sorry I can't be the daughter you want me to be,

sorry...

with love and tears,
XOXOvv
PrinCess X
____________________________________________________________________

...Continued
Today something confused me. In my physical education class, the only class my prince and I share, is the only real time we get to be together. Yesterday, he held my hand and said he hadn't minded (we were previously scolded the day before, which is unproper I presume) and he hadn't cared about getting in trouble. When he had reoffered I declined but we both laughed about it.
Yet today, when I offered my hand he said he hadn't wished to get in trouble. (?x!)
What?!

....<3.....I guess I am hopeless........
.........in matters of the heart........<3

With love and confusion,
XOXOvv
PrinCess X

....<3.......<3.......Is it wrong to say, although I care strongely for my red prince,
.....that I also now have aquired distant feelings for my dark knight aswell,



~XOXOVV



My Dark Knight Who Wishes So For My Cold and Blackened Heart
As of late my dark knight confesses his love of me every waking hour he can get his voice in ear shot of mwa. And yet I still show no resopnse to his pleas. I know the games he plays and the intentions he has, and yet...
He knows me better than anyone ever has, or could, in my prediction of the furture nearer or furthur, anyways. He understands there is a deeper side of me I don't show and that wealth an' looks never paid a mind to me non-the- fairer. But my heart is cold to him.(?)
I don't understand this. He continueiously tells me how blind I am to his feelings and his heart and yet, I do know that which he preaches, the feeling is just unrequainted with my own.
I wish I could please everyone, myslef included in that as well. But not everyone is voting for the same poll so it makes it hard to decide who I shall pick. 'All is fair in love and war' but I feel like someone here is cheating. Playing a dirty trick to play on the matters of the heart, while intising the matters of the mind to indoubtably trick me into falling for their trap already cast.
I wish I still had the key... the key to my heart as well as the door to my tower. To open myslef up more, to lock everyone else out. To hide my emotions and free them to the press that mocks and edits so soundlessly and efficently. Changing things to what has never occured but draws in readers.
I wish life had a manual. It'd be so much simplier that way. Oh, but. That wouldn't lead me in matters of the heart.So, I'd still be lost.
I only wish my dark knight would respect my decision to waste my time with the red prince until I become bored and leave him as well...I quess those aren't in his morals. There are somethings I hope that are, though they shall not be spoken or uttered under breath.
I wish my dark knight would realize that I am numb. I no longer feel anymore. Though I'd like to feel. More than anything I'd like to feel.... I wish someone were there who could warm my heart, just one person for forever....

With love, deep in thought,
XOXOvv
PrinCess X



~XOXOVV



kogas101
Community Member
kogas101
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