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Cuz.
Ark was working for the resistance against the Lizard Queen Master, which the resistance was just a bunch of Halflings because the Lizard Queen Master couldn't be bothered to look down to see them. Arch didn't really care about the war. He was there for money. However, he was really REALLY pissed off since he was the only Elf in an army of Halflings, meaning he had to deal with their really small beds and child sized meals. But it was finally going to happen. They were going to raid the cigarette and kill the Lizard Queen Master. This was it. They were going to go in through the back way, and take them by surprise. Then, something really strange happened. The ENTIRE village, the army, the workers, everyone just started marching, backwards. The Halflings were just confused. Very confused. They stood there for a while, and eventually they all came running back. Ark could see a Gnome in the lead waving her arms in the air yelling "SHES GUNNA DIE!!!!!" and walking behind her was an Elf Rouge, surrounded in female lizard people. They ran into the cigarette, and there was much yelling. Ark could hear things such as "GOD DAMMET LEWIS GET ON THAT THRONE!!! AND PUT ON SOME CLOTHES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!", all coming from a female voice. Later a group of lizard people were sent out, almost as if they knew where they were. Ark drew his bow and shot an arrow into the lead one, killing it instantly. "Wow, what a really crappy army." he found himself thinking. One of the Halflings then ran up to another and kicked him in the balls, killing him instantly. The last lizard person fainted in terror of what would happen to his own balls. The Halflings then cut off his right arm and left leg and forced him to go back to the cigarette. Later, they heard the same voice as last time yell "GOD DAMMET GUYS, I HAVE TO PEE!" They then saw the lizard person they sent in hobble out of the cigarette and die. The Resistance leader called a meeting, which was just them all huddling close together. The leader looked at everyone and said "This is completely against anything we ever suspected. We are going to have to do more reconnaissance, and attack later. If all goes well, we should be able to attack in two months." Ark was not amused at this comment. "Two months?! Why can't we attack now?! I'm dealing with your tiny beds and food that can't fill me for another two months!" The resistance leader just looked at him. "The only way we are going to win this is if we wait. If you decide to go off on your own, know that you are our enemy." Ark was already walking to the cigarette. As he approached the entrance, he saw two guards at the door. One was poking the lizard person who had his limbs cut off, while the other just didn't care. Ark asked the guard if he could go in. to which the gaurd responded "I don't care, if you want to die go right ahead." Ark entered the room and saw an Elf, wearing a corpse of a lizard person on her head, trying to push a near naked man into a chair and yelling "GOD DAMMET LEWIS!". At the angle that he came in, they looked like they were having sex. Ark then loudly called out "ARE THEY HAVING SEX?!" The elf then turned around. "Ark?!" she called out. "Arch?!" Ark called back. They then ran up to each other, jumped into the air and did a high five. The Elf from earlier entered the room and called out "Oi! Lizard Queen I Don't Care, what do you want me to do with Lewis?" Ark was amused with the Elf that wanted to cause horrible things to the human. Arch turned to the Elf and yelled "Dammet March, just throw him out a window until he goes into the future!" March nodded, and dragged the human out and threw him out of a window, where the human promptly disappeared. As the Elves discussed various things they hated, Arch mentioned her people's death machine. Ark then offered to help get rid of the resistance that Arch didn't care about.





Kamen Rider Chalice
Community Member
Kamen Rider Chalice
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