I did one of my most stellar moves yet 2day! People wrote on my arms because its end of school. And guess what? I had to scrub off pure pink, blue, green and black sharpie off my arms with nail polish remover. Such fun. gonk
I gave the guy that I like a note saying that I've liked him for the whole year. And guess what he did. Crumpled up the sincere note and chucked it in the the trash can! O well.
My move is getting closer and closer. I'm passing millions of milestones as I go. The end of my performances at a local theater that I got started at. The last test. The last ELA pop quiz. The last day of school.
Before I know it, my last day here will be here. Tomorrow is my last end of the year party thrown every year at the same place doing the same thing.
I guess I've learned things. I waste so much time. Doing nothing but fighting or bad-mouthing or pointless stuff and none of it matters because soon enough, I'm never going to see any of this again. I know every road, every neighborhood, every shortcut, every landmark, every big happening, ever little happening, everything. Is that all just going to disappear when I leave. Will I still know the shortcut to the gas station? Will I still know that there are only two stoplights in my town and know exactly where they are?
Or is this all going to be replaced by the "big town" stuff? Like every mall, every theater, every center, grocery store, playground and pool? What is going to happen to me! I feel so alone because I don't understand WHY! I can ALWAYS understand WHY! But now I can't and I feel like now I don't ever get myself anymore.
Since no one is going to know me there, I want to change myself. I don't know how to be myself so I shape myself into someone else. It can be fun. But suddenly I feel like the puppet. ALL I CARE ABOUT IS WHAT OTHERS THINK!
I guess I should go.
Reah.
 ReahDroof · Fri May 22, 2009 @ 06:05pm · 0 Comments |
