Terry Pratchett is probably my favourite author ever. He writes satire for the most part, and he's best known for his Discworld series, in which he makes fun of almost everything known to man. Go read him. It's worth it.
Also: I have a s**t load of quotes for him, so I'll be breaking them up into several posts. n_n
"... if you did it for a good reason, you’d do it for a bad one. You couldn’t say 'we’re the good guys' and do bad-guy things."
"A fully working kitchen holds a great many things, not least of which is a huge collection of ways of committing horrible murder, plus multiple ways of getting rid of the evidence."
"All right," said Susan. 'I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."
"REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE."
"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little-"
"YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES."
"So we can believe the big ones?"
"YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING."
"They're not the same at all!"
"YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—"
Death waved a hand. "AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME... SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED."
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"
"MY POINT EXACTLY."
"And what would humans be without love?"
"Rare," said Death."
"Archchancellor, I see evil when I look in my shaving mirror. It is, philosophically, present everywhere in the universe in order, apparently, to highlight the existence of good. I think there is more to this theory, but I tend to burst out laughing at this point."
"Coffee was only a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your slightly older self."
"Do you know what it feels like to be aware of every star, every blade of grass? Yes. You do. You call it 'opening your eyes again.' But you do it for a moment. We have done it for eternity. No sleep, no rest, just endless... endless experience, endless awareness. Of everything. All the time. How we envy you, envy you! Lucky humans, who can close your minds to the endless deeps of space! You have this thing you call... boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe! We heard a song — it went 'Twinkle twinkle little star....' What power! What wondrous power! You can take a billion trillion tons of flaming matter, a furnace of unimaginable strength, and turn it into a little song for children! You build little worlds, little stories, little shells around your minds, and that keeps infinity at bay and allows you to wake up in the morning without screaming!"
"Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through."
"He's out of his depth on a wet pavement."
"I have to admit to the view that all exercise for any purpose other than bodily health, the defense of the realm and the proper action of the bowels is barbaric."
"I think the Librarian has a motto in these cases: 'If you try to take my bananas from me, I will reclaim them from your cold dead hands.'"
"I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers."