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My best friend doesn't go to my school anymore.
Her mom pulled her out because of the kids she was hanging out with. Druggies. A
circle of kids we both knew but I didn't really associate with. They were stereotypes;
black hair, black clothing (in the emo style), stupid jokes involving shrooms. I have no
idea what she liked about them, but she worried me.
She'd hang out with them at lunch, come back on campus reeking of smoke. I called her
on it and she simply told me, "You hang out with smokers, you smell like smokers."
True. She had a little bag in her backpack with a lighter, a razor, and a pipe in it. I
called her on that and she told me, "I'm carrying it for them, just in case they get
searched." Fair enough.
Lies, and I knew it.
"Sleep with the dogs and you'll wake up with fleas." She hung around smokers, she
smoked. She even had the lighter to prove it. Plus she cutted, but she wore long sleeves
so I'd never find out.
And she did something else but she'll never tell me what.
She came to school one day sobbing. My whole free period I sat on the floor next to her
while she clung to my arm and soaked my shoulder. The whole time she mumbled
things like "No no, don't eat me" and "there's a lion on my shoulder". Since I had a class
to go to, I took her down to the nurse at the end of my free block and told the nurse
she was having emotion troubles at home and 'could she sleep here for a bit, please?'
She came to school the next day and didn't tell me a thing.
I don't smoke and I don't drink and I don't do drugs. If I wanted to calm down, I'd
breathe. If I wanted to act tipsy, I'd find a spinny chair and go around and around as fast
as I could for a few minutes. If I wanted to be so happy I didn't know what exactly was
going on, I'd make out with my boyfriend. I don't need those addictions in my life. But I
didn't stop her because she wouldn't let me. She wouldn't let me in on her troubles.
Every time I hinted that I knew, she'd blow me off or change the subject. The worst was
when she'd joke about it with the druggie friends and I would see the knowledge in
their eyes. A different kind of laugh altogether. But she never told me the truth.
I was the pure one, and she was keeping it that way.
Then one day, she was arrested. All the druggies were. They were all caught off-campus
with cigarettes, pot, the whole lot. A bunch of them were put in rehab, a few were
released back to school with in-school suspension, her mom pulled her out and
vouched for her.
She doesn't go here anymore and her mom won't let her come back. I don't really get to
see her these days, but every so often I hear from her and she still lies to me. I've seen
pictures of her smoking with the druggies, heard stories from people even I talk to, saw
her mom drive her away yelling about how she was turning out "just like your sisters!"
and still she lies to me.
These days, I hang out with Max, her old best friend. A druggie. He goes off campus at
lunch and comes back smelling like smoke and carries a small bag with a lighter, razor,
and pipe in his backpack. He doesn't lie to me. He tells me he wants to quit, but the
products to quit taste even worse than the cigarettes and the help lines don't work. He
tells me that he never wants me to start smoking or anything. He tells me he wishes she
could've stayed at school with us.
"Sleep with the dogs and you'll wake up with fleas."
I suppose it's only a matter of time for me.
[/high school addictions]
 L e t o m i · Mon Mar 05, 2007 @ 02:50am · 2 Comments |
