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To all those ghosts who are using the internet as away to come through from the alter plane to suck the souls of the living i'd like to recap you on what this year holds therefore you're ready for what is in store for you. Although we don't have the flying cars and enviromentally safe machines that you thought we would, we do have something that will catch you even more off guard. A ethnically mixed president whom is a democrat and has a past involving a father whom was a muslim leader, friends whom are either themselves or known associates of terrorists and if that doesn't just make you're little ghost self stop in tracks heres where the M. Night Shamalan twist comes in to play, he's comprised his cabinet of republicans as well as democrats! But this isn't an "Obama bash" entry, I personally don't have much wrong with the man other than the fact he didn't want to salute the flag and he got banned from a united states military base untill he was commander in cheif which of course as you now know he become(which you know all the soliders were all *head desk* DX lawls). Aside from that with all the support hes backing i'm sure he'll accomplish something, whether it be the solution to our economic deflation or it be the fall of the united states government at the hands of Austraila i'm not sure but there will be change for everyone. *looks at the eager hobos* No not that kind of change, pfft silly hobos money is for real people smile Cause everyone knows that hobos are just a myth to make you bathe since they say hobo's keen sense of smell draws them to unsuspecting victims who didn't clean theirselves and still smell like that cheeseburger they had for dinner and make them appear on the back of milk cartons =O. But yes with the canabalistic hobos aside what else is there to talk about 2009 hmm, well there are those who inpregnate theirselves with 10 kids to get on Oprah, a mom who murdered her own daughter sold pictures of her deceased daughter to pay for court costs and the rise of satan's son, miley cyrus and I suppose thats about it for now seeing as its only february razz stay tuned to my journal ghosts and ghouls and look to me as your guide for surviving humanity cause we all know you're just like bears, you're actually more afraid of us then we are of you razz that is unless were alone and unsuspecting whereas thats when you gobble up our souls and give us all a horrid case of lockjaw like those spirits did in those grudge movies, man thats another thing 2009 is becomming notorious for, shitty horror films, I mean the first 3D horror film came out already and it tanked so bad it made the titanic tragedy and the exon-valdez incident look like a small splash from an icecube being dropped into a cup of water, can you say epic fail 5 times fast? If you did you need to say it another 5 more because you fail that much more >.> Hmm I believe this isn't really going anywhere i'm just typing as things come along, I want to talk about how badly disney is spawning these damned rich kid super stars who are only famous due to their parents influences and the general populous of kids being absolutely pucking retarded for supporting these horrid spawns that carry the appearences of humans only to decieve you into liking them. I mean hell if i was going to attempt to take over the world by controling the worlds youth I damn sure would try to dress like other teens, I mean come on the Jonas brothers and their pauper looking clothes? I think when they were developed in their space pods they had the wrong damn era registered on them, and gender too for that matter wtf is wrong with their voices? *shivers* anways lets see, I suppose for this rant I believe to be finnished, so I leave you with a farewell and good tidings be sure to tip your waitress lest you want her to come and break into your house, gut your cat and sodomize you with a strap on that has broken glass and a moldy tuna sandwhich embeded into it since she salvaged from the gutter of the local subway where it was once used to give 5 dollar footlongs out to the teenage boys who each thought they were meeting up with a girl since they had only chatted on the internet but found out it was just an old man with a video camera;
goodnight and enjoy what i've posted for now razz
 Duamutef · Tue Feb 24, 2009 @ 06:49am · 1 Comments |
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a little something called entry XIII BISH D:< |
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yes well i know its been a while and all since my last post but thats due to a long string uncontrollable coincidences previous obligations i hadto fulfill not giving me the time to leisurely chat away mindlessly to myself and my few loyal patrons i do have to this journal and the few mindless wanders thats pass here occasionally, well to get things rolling i would just like to say this up coming month holds the potential to be a very grave one indeed seeing as im currently still unemployed and there are atleast 5 game titles being released in july that i would love to purchase, one of which being high above all else, METAL GEAR SOLID 4: GUNS OF THE PATRIOTS fortunately i was one of the lucky people who got to beta test MGO: konami's online addition to the concluding game of one of the most mind blowing tactical espionage games that has ever been created !!! (is a metal gear fanboy and knows it ^^ wink but yes thats neither here nor there,
what i really came here to talk about is the marvelous tale of Rope Man who with his ropery justice shall smite the wicked with rope burn and multiple lacerations to the genitalia in order to keep you the citizens of our world safe a night and potential stds. you might be saying...rope man? whats so special about rope, rope doesn't bite like a bat nor a spider so whats so terrifying about him other than he targets your privates, while thats even more on the lines of disturbing than it is frightening? Well in order to understand rope man, just like in every story of any hero before him, you have to hear his tale first...
BEHOLD THE BOLD AND ADVENTUROUS TALE OF...
ROPE MAN!
rope man didnt start off like your average superhero, he wasnt bitten by a random insect that just so happened to give powers rather than slowly drown your body in a pool of your own fluid due to radioactive poisoning and he wasnt a pampered rich kid scared into a frightening persona due to a traumatizing childhood event resulting from a very sheltered life nor born on another planet that exploded leaving him as the sole survivor. No, rope man was born from a normal mother and father just like you and me; yet he had one unique quality that no one had ever seen the likes of before and that was that across his chest and imbeded into his flesh spiraling inwards wrapping itself around his spine was a thick piece of brown synthetic rope. the doctors were baffled on how such a thing was even possible, no one was prepared for it not even the mother who throughout her whole pregnancy would have relations with men ended in masochistic rituals involving rope pleasurably forced into her. Despite how many inspections they made the boy could not be parted with the rope for fear he would lose his life, and from that day forth that boy born part boy and part rope would have to live out those socially awkward preteen and teenage years of his life even more awkwardly.
TO BE CONTINUED.....
possibly if i feel like it XD
potential other stories:
~ the north carolina weed wacker masacre
Duamutef · Sat May 31, 2008 @ 10:55am · 0 Comments |
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i haven't been myself for a while.... i mean sure i must play the role of the respecting hard working studious teenager preparing to be a poorly respected, unappreciated, rejected teenage-father and trust me peoples i do it nice and good you know like those nice warm hot sticky buns you get after you've infused its delectable sweet sugary goodness and its lovely flaky pastery with about 300 volts of radioactive poisoning only to make it all the more delicious seeing as everything tastes better with some sort of toxic agent in it, just look at the vegan nuts going crazy for their vegetables with all that delicious pesticide goodness to spice things up eh? heres a helpful hint...EAT A HAMBURGER DAMN YOU YOU'LL BE HELPING THE COW POPULATION CONTROL! so remember don't be confused by the cows on the Chick Fillet posters they really like it rough...and by that i mean a cleaver shoved so far up their rears they turn into spaghetti sauce, but with me having to play the role of the responsible teenager is it a mandatory requirement by some form of universal law that i must give up on my insanity and embrace that which has ailed my creative spark for these many isolated years from my mind? i think not! i believe if i wish to write a story about Timmy the boy with crippled legs that loved to touch them and think it was Santa who was showing him the love one could only get from the form of a father figure who ends up in prison sentenced to 80 years without parole for molestation charges on a clown and a midget at an underage drinking party hosted by the local town minister i believe i damn well will and could...ya know if i was so opted to do so but i'm not so it doesn't really matter now does it? why discuss the relevant that has become irrelevant due to the coming of new topics which make the relevant irrelevant thus continuing the cycle till everything ultimately ends up irrelevant incoherent babble about a never ending spiral of letdowns and inconsistencies? well i believe that not even psychology is a match for my mind for the current nation designated guru of the mind if you will, dr phil even doesn't believe in his own practices...namely doctor patient confidentiality, what have i been saying for months now? JUST LEAVE BRITTNEY SPEARS ALONE SHE CAN #*$#* UP HER LIFE ON HER OWN JUST FINE SHE DOESNT NEED OTHER RUNNING AROUND TELLING PEOPLE THUS MAKING HER EVEN MORE PARANOID AND EVENTUALLY DRIVING HER TO THE POINT OF TALKING TO TOILETRIES IN YOUR LOCAL BIG LOTS DEPARTMENT STORE! stressed i mean seriously we all need some type of closer but i think the whole nation up your a** is a bit too close dontcha agree? anywho my thumb hurts so im done typing for now i will keep posting more journal updates for any of those who read this because for some reason i get random visits now...its bizzare so for all those who just dropped by...leave 25 gold at the door and dont let it hit ya on the way out scream
farewell and good night for now
Duamutef · Wed Jan 30, 2008 @ 05:04am · 1 Comments |
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hey all want to keep this short just wanted to wish everyone a happy belatted valentines day and a great new year of 2007, year of the comming of the aliens... acoording to sylvia brown anways >.>; anywho hmm highlights about 07
1) movies: spiderman 3, fantastic 4:rise of the silver surfer, ghost rider, transformers, epic movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles
2) aliens are comming! @_o HO SHIZZLE!? *foil hat* ( . ),( X)
3) eh...new year!
downfalls of 07
i get older T_T
Duamutef · Fri Feb 16, 2007 @ 07:03am · 1 Comments |
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like OMG! I CAN TOTALLY NOT BELIEVE My JOURNAL GOT THIS FAR! LIKE AH!....yeah wtf would be my sentiments exactly if i were reading it from your point of view but seeing as its mine, im scared even more. Now then let the beginning of the 10th entry commence, or continue since in order for it to commence it must have not already started which clearly it already has thus contradicting my first statement and futhermore....*otherself: STFU!!!! YOURE DRIVING THE REST OF US CRAZY...IER!!!* eh? oh by us you mean the readers right? silly silly other me youre silly *otherself: and your stupid, wtf is with all this your silly and blah contridicts blah?! RANT MOFO LIKE THE IDIOT YOU ARE!!!! TALK ABOUT RANDOMNESS WHAT IS THIS CRAP, WHERES THE IDIOCY THAT YOU MUST ENFORE UPON THE UNSUSPECTING MASSES?!? TRAUMATIZE THEM, MAKE THEM SCARED FOR LIFE NOT TIRED!!!!! but...gah...what?! i...huh....TICKY TICKY SLIM CUCUMBER YOU CRAZY PUFFINS!!!!! MUWHAHAHA THE CYBER LORD IS BACK AT GAIA ALL HAIL!!!! *hails tone falls* OW! SON OF A #$&$*#$*#$#&*$!!! *pants* well then now that that is out of the way let me tell you something people of gaia.....IF YOU HAVE SEEN X-3 AND DIDNT STAY FOR AFTER THE CREDITS I WILL CASTRATE YOU FOR YOU HAVE MISSED ONE OF THE VERY MAIN PARTS OF THE MOVIE!!!! AND I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD....but i would like a cookie crying XD if you havent seen over the hedge you wont get that but yeah, eric the halabit rules you all from his prosperous fish market at disney world where he regins powerful with the colonel and the aligators and the rootbeer in the mountians beaches of wyoming, do you even know what a wa wa is? DIDNT THINK SO FOO! well thats kinda random i suppose so it will do for a journal entry, but for all those penguins who think yoursafe in the water waddling around, eating fish and sliding on yo bellies just remember, when the mighty puffin spreds his wings and decends from his icy throne in the clouds....you will all SURRENDER UNTO THEM THE FISH AND YOUR VERY SOULS FOR YOU ARE NOTHING BUt WANNA BE JAMES BONDS whO EAT SUSHI!!!!! scream and all of you out there...who read this babble of mine...you will soon learn there is a consequence for reading it....your brain, yes at this very moment it is dying, screaming in pain yet sense the light from your computer which you have been staring at mindlessly for the past hours/mins/days/months/years trying to keep up with the story line or someones girls only guys sneak in threads biding your time to be the one to sneak in and cyber with what appears to be a 15 year old girl when in reality its an 80 year old man with alot of free time, has numbed your senses, you no longer can tell that your brain is dying and thus will result in its untimely demise, and yes sadly i am the one that shall be the scapegoat, the accused, the responsible but i fully accept these tittles for I NOW RULE YOUR MINDLESS BODY AND YOU ARE My T-VIRUS PUPPET MWUAHAHAHHA...goodnight and dont touch my shnitzle scream
Duamutef · Sun Jun 04, 2006 @ 02:12am · 1 Comments |
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oh joys its another session with sigmund frued....hahh yeah right, if i was a world renown phychologist who would be able to send my bouncy,rampling,trigger happy self to the "pretty room wit da padded walls"? bleh! i bannish those who make a mockery of my intellectual superiorty over all things green and gooey from the land of....da moldy bread! HAHA! TAKE THAT ONE FREDDY PRINZE JR. YA THEIVING b*****d! oh sure he goes off and says "the" one time and hes in a movie, i say "the" everyday....WHERES MY MOVIE!!!!! scream i need a movie featuring a dancing cucumber, and not that dang one from vegetales. its gotta be one who can breakdance like a coocoomoomoodoodoo YEAH! right we also need marvin the martian, talking bananas, a spastic squirell and um...some birds who suffer from bowel inconstince xd anywho yes yes with these minions working for me i shall rule all of the cyber web and destroy the dumb spider that made it....im comming for you billy boy.....just you wait, you cant hide behind ya windows forever..MUWAHAHHAHAHAHA pirate AHOY ME MATEYS!, TODAYS LESSON BE PROPER FOOD ETIQUETTE,ARG! SO YE BESS BE PUTIN ON THOSE BIPS LIKE THE WORTHLESS BABIES YE BE AND WALK OVER TO THIS HERE TABLE, OR ILL MAKE YE WALK......ME DOG! ARG ARG ARG ARG ARG! ~TIME WARP~ Caveman 1: unga punga dookadakugssfnaga?
caveman 2: dugdnfa dfdunga fghjsgsa...
caveman 1: UNGSHA DOTAHAGRTTE!?!?!
caveman2:yoitres
caveman 1: !!!!!!!!!
*caveman 1 runs away crying*
caveman 2: ungsafdsftefer......
*channel flip*
BANANASSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*channel flip*
aliens: take us to your.....um is that a starbucks over there?
*channel flip*
dude from book: no sam i am i will not eat green eggs in ham, i will not eat them in a box, i will not eat them with a fox, i will not eat them in a boat i will not eat them in a boat
sam i am: awww ya know ya wanna, come on try me spoiled eggs and ham and youll have funna! xd
*channel flip*
...tinky winky, dixe, la la, po....TELETUBBIES! TELETUBBIES SAY HELLO, HELLO! *crazed penguin busts through the back ground* SAY HELLO TO MY LIL FRIEND! scream *pulls out a machine gun and shoots all the teletubbies* hehhe
*noonoo the vacuum enters* Noonoo:!?!?!? vroom vroom suck suck!!!
penguin: oh yeah well eat thi....
*noonoo turns into a giant asparagas and squashes the penguin*
penguin: ooh.....done in....*cough*..by the biggest.....piece of seaweed ive ever seen......*gasp* X_X
......this concludes our broadcast day.......
*television is turned off*
WIT DA CHEESE AND DA CREAM AND DA CHEESY CHEESY CREAMY CHEESY! xp
Duamutef · Thu Nov 03, 2005 @ 03:28pm · 2 Comments |
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todays show has been brought to you by the number 8 |
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yes it is entry number 8 yay stare im kinda out of randomness to say right now seeing as i feel like ive been hit by a truck xd so if you have paitence and you want to read randomness go to my xanga site which the link is in my profile feel free to read my mindless bable about internet advertisements yes its quite long and quite......bablish so yea feel free umm...im kinda at a loss for words i jus felt like typing something in here, i may change later but then again i may not, who cares right? well this is da wacky tacky lacky loser saying toodles oodles toster stroodles rolleyes
Duamutef · Thu Aug 18, 2005 @ 12:59pm · 3 Comments |
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originally this was meant as a prevention post but seeing as it failed i guess ill add more to jus to make it considered to be an actual post....if that makes any sense, yea well something intersting happend today....i drank this water that was supposedly packed with vitamins and all kinds of other odd stuff, but it reminded me of when i was back in kindergarten and when id steal my sisters chapstick and eat it cause it tasted like grape..... xp dont ask i was a strange little bugga anywho yea it for some reason made me remember that and it tastes like grape lip gloss so stay away from the odd vitamin flavored waters....unless u like the taste of lip gloss then go for it.....yea...my eyes are really fuzzy right now....fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair fuzzy wuzzy was a fuzzy wuzzy.....bleh! anywho im too tired to finish up my little odd rant so ill jus continue to talk to bunny till my body is finally ready to join my head....peace,punch,cap'in chrunch! twisted
(bunny do not read past this one stop!!!! gonk u mustnt know how odd i am stop reading!!!!)
Duamutef · Mon Aug 01, 2005 @ 01:20am · 4 Comments |
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no this isnt an evil post, just number SiX, not like anyones gonna read dis all da same still fun, soooo south cakylacky was NiCe! went down to folly beach in charleston, and da view wasnt all that bad wink lots of perdy birdies to look at xd bah and da fems were alright blaugh anywho i sliped and busted me rumpus on da rocks trying to stay outta da ocean, seeing as i didnt know we were going till we were there, then i fell into da ocean in me good clothes sooo i jus stayed and floated there sweatdrop bah all the same other than that it was ok....not as fun as i had hoped but still interesting, blah yeppers im outta junk to say and im bored so ill make this little post it note to meself stop here, i love me and i know me loves me too so yeah no need to say it three times..or six lol, later
Duamutef · Mon Jul 04, 2005 @ 08:06pm · 0 Comments |
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