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Vanilla is here. Why not read what she thinks?
Its My Life And How I View The World
talking to people will just make the problem worse cause everyone will tell you the oblivious thing and that is the one thing that wont help. yes you can end it all, but the problem is still there. it is still there, and it eats away at you till you cant stand it no more.
and then
you sit here trying to deal with one problem and another ******** one comes, and you start to think that what the other problem is is nothing. it doesnt matter. no one will care. even if they do, they wont. and what happens when you try to solve another problem is that the other just falls out completely
and then
you end up feeling like crap and a total b***h, a cold heartless non loveing, or caring about anything b***h. and then what does that mean? it means that you feel like you desverve to feel that way cause nothing is great enough for you
but
people say "oh yes you are" but deep down you know its not, which makes you feel even worse, cause when ever something good comes your way it just ends up ********
but then
you just loose your mind, and you end up at the library typing all this to your best friend, your best friend who has more, worse problems then you could ever have, so you dont want to lay that upon them.
and
that
it
makes you feel even worse, so you just keep your s**t to yourselve and listen to other peoples problems, and try to help the with that and just deal, cause its life
so
then
you just think of death and how much it pains you to not wanna leave this world, live for as long as you can, and as happy as you can
which
basically
makes up you and why you are so as they all sy "emotionalless" and "unable to comprehend with the emotions of others" as our lovely OTHER best friend has been saying so that makes you feel even worse, and that you cant even help out your best friend, and it pains ou to just sit there and have her laugh at jokes when she is having a crappy day, right after you just tried to make her feel better and it didnt work, and it makes you think "hey, maybe i am heartless, and unemotional"
it basically goes up in flames, a long spiralling circle that never ends
welcome to the story of my life





 
 
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