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Black Dreams
this is just a journal of things i come across here or home simple i know...
crying happy easter crying yeah it sucks...

I will be moving home soon, it's sad and I'll miss my husband.

Ok... so due to the fact that my sweetie is joining the military We have move dup the date of the wedding. to April 18. which is next week! Yay fun scary.

my Birthday
Was October 1st....and It was a very blah day. Oh well, maybe next year it will be better. The good part of it was that I got to go Bowling with my sister...the sad part was that it was only my sister. only sis and I celebrated together. then she had to go home, and I was kind of lonely.

Getting Married!
So I will be getting married on October 31st of next year and I am very excited! He's great! It will be great! It will be a very awesome party. I'm so Happy!

So It was my sons birthday recently. I wanted nothing better than to sit in bed all day and ignore everyone. It didn't work out that way. Everyone kept calling and talking bout him...It was Hard. I sent him a present,(It's a very open adoption) he received it on his birthday and his new mom called and I got to talk to him... He said Thank You and I love You and No. It was cute. He is a very good Kid. It was good to hear from him again.

My Birthday is in like 20 minutes. I can't wait to see If anyone remembers me. I always wind up hating my birthday... I'm always excited and hopeful and then It turns out bad for one reason or another. But I have High hopes for this year.

life as I now know it
Life as I know it now, has changed drastically. 10 months ago I got pregnant,the 9 months of my pregnancy have been Hell. The Fathers Mother was putting a lot of pressure on me to have an abortion but I didn't want him dead, I love him. End after I could no longer Legally have an abortion she was just being a complete b***h! Everyone else was really supportive and great especially the fathers father. 1 month ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and two days later I signed him away to another family..I gave him up for adoption, and my life will never be the same, knowing I gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby boy who had all his didgets and I gave him away o people I really didn't know. So that hopefully he would have a better life than I could give him. And now things will never feel the same to mend he will always be in the back of my mind and the center of my heart. I fear I have disappointed (almost) everyone, no matter what they say. They almost all wanted him and said that they would help. But I'm too poor to even feed myself, and I have a very bad temper with a very short fuse. And I never want to hurt my children. But my mother keeps making comments on how I should have kept him or given him to her. But She Is a terrible mother...I know from first hand experience. I feel so torn apart by every ones negative comments and even their support. It Just Hurts

has anyone noticed....?
That things come in three's? All things; deaths, births, accidents and all of lifes general misshaps. Three deaths for my freind nerissa, three deaths for me, I'm the third in another line of misshaps. that i shal not mention. Also this is the last week of school for me this semester, so horray! heart heart xp

Life as I know It
Hello peoples! smile it's good for you.

The Goddess Eclaire
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The Goddess Eclaire
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