If you read all of this Kudos to you, The 307 reasons you know you play WAY TOO MUCH ZELDA. Some of these apply to me can you guess which ones.

1. You jump off a cliff and expect to reappear where you started from.
2. You go on vacation and pack a lot of stuff. Your mom asks where you're going to put all of that stuff. You say, "The start menu!"
3. You get beaten up. You go to the store and ask for hearts.
4. You catch a fire fly in a bottle and expect it to save your life.
5. You hate owls.
6. You put metal on you shoes, put on a blue shirt, and sink to the bottom of a lake. You expect to see perfectly and to breathe.
7. A guy gets hit by a car. You rush over to the hospital and play the Song of Healing on an Ocarina(it's a real instrument). Then start pulling on his face demanding for a mask.
8. You’re late getting to you date. You figure she'll/he'll be doing the same thing tomorrow.
9. You think that the government wouldn’t get involved when they find out you've been placing bombs where ever you please.
10. You play Epona's Song for cows. Then you demand milk.
11. You play ocarina songs to warp to and from places.
12. You skin your knee, so you go home and drink a glass of milk, hoping it'll heal you.
13. You run around with a piece of slate over your face thinking no one will see you.
14. You are afraid to look up at night, fearing that the moon will have a big scary face on it
15. Your children don't play cops and robbers. They play Heroes and Evil Kings.
16. You don't understand why you can't find Hyrule on the world map.
17. You plan to marry Bill Gates so you can buy an island and name it Hyrule.
18. You've been in a really bad situation and whipped out your ocarina and played the Oath to Order.
19. You curl up on the floor and attempt to roll somewhere
20. You get a horse and attempt to train it to come when you play Epona's Song.
21. You have a bad dream and immediately assume it means you're about to be summoned to undertake a journey to save the world.
22. You can do a perfect rendition of Link's "Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me, Princess!" from the cartoons.
23. You look through a magnifying glass claiming you can see the truth.
24. You tie explosives to wind-up mouse toys and set them on bowling lanes.
25. You shoot your slingshot at people thinking that the rounds will go through and be ignored.
26. You flick off a castle guard - er - cop from 50 feet away, thinking he won't see you.
27. You go to the shooting range and expect to see numbers appear out of your target when your bullets hit.
28. You run around cutting bushes expecting to find money.
29. You own an Ocarina.
30. You can play various Zelda tunes on that Ocarina.
31. You spent weeks upon weeks trying to learn to play THE Zelda theme.
32. You are instantly attracted to anything with Link's face on it, or anything that bears the Triforce mark.
33. You teach yourself songs from the games on a keyboard.
34. You doodle little Triforces on your homework papers.
35. You enjoy writing Zelda fanfics (stories).
36. If you ever get your hands on a gold gel pen, you have a golden Triforce on the back of your hand by the end of the day.
37. If you draw, most of your drawings revolve around Zelda.
38. You think Link could beat Samurai Jack in battle any day.
39. You goof around and destroy everything and pull out your ocarina and play the Song of time expecting you can go back in time.
40. You get a tattoo of the Triforce on the back of your left hand!
41. When horse riding you try to start a race so you can win the horse!
42. You want to take sword-fighting lessons.
43. At night you swear that skeletons are coming out of the ground to get you.
44. During music lessons you try to do magic spells with your flute.
45. You start to wear green
46. You start believing that you live in the forest with a bunch of elves.
47. You talk to the big tree in the backyard thinking that it is the Deku tree.
48. You tear the house up looking for golden Skultulas.
49. You write "Lon Lon Ranch" on all your milk cartons.
50. You want Zelda's lullaby to be your wedding song.
51. You walk into your local supermarket asking if they have change for a purple Rupee.
52. On a resume where it asks for your race, you put down "Hylian."
53. You catch bugs and show them to the bum that lives in the subway.
54. You ask complete strangers to call you "fairy-boy."
55. You only bought Smash brothers because Link was in the game.
56. You have withdrawal symptoms when separated from your Zelda games.
57. You dig up graves looking for money.
58. When you're attacked by killer zombies, you whip out your flute in hope of freezing them.
59. You expect to be followed everywhere by a firefly.
60. You ask a redheaded girl where you can find Nabooru.
61. When you can't move something because it's too heavy, you go looking for a pair of silver gauntlets.
62. You put on a pair of fake bunny ears and expect to be able to run faster.
63. You put on a postman's cap and run around trying to check the mailboxes, thinking you'll find money inside.
64. You wear a chicken mask and play music, expecting chicks to follow you, and grow up immediately!
65. You put on wooden masks and expect to be able to walk on water.
66. You put on a certain mask and expect fireflies to come to you.
67. During the school fire drill you grab your friend's Link action figure saying "I won't let the Hero of Time die!!"
68. You stare at a coke bottle and say "Hmmmm what kinda potion is this?"
69. During a maths test you seek help from the three goddesses.
70. You don't answer to anyone if they call you by your name, you only answer to someone who calls you Link.
71. You do the stuff on this list!!
72. You want your nickname to be Grasshopper
73. When you’re about to get attacked by the dog next door....you throw a walnut hoping it freezes.
74. You see a guy in his underwear dancing and play the song of healing.
75. You walk in to fishing world, cast your fishing rod and steal the owners hat
76. You walk into a farm and start slashing at chickens
77. You get your slingshot and shoot holes in hot air balloons
78. After 3 days you hide in a bomb shelter expecting the moon to fall down.
79. You run around day and night and NEVER sleep
80. You pick up a chicken and jump off a ledge expecting to fly
81. You go insides whales' stomachs to get a sapphire and save a princess
82. When you enter a castle courtyard, you look out the window expecting to see Nintendo characters
83. You go inside a volcano with a red shirt and expect to be OK
84. You grab a hammer and expect to break boulders
85. You're cautious around statues. They might attack.
86. You put on a pair of leather gloves and expect to be stronger.
87. You try to cram 40 large bombs into a removed stomach of a lizard.
88. You manage to not blow yourself up doing it.
89. You tape feathers to your shoes and try to run across your swimming pool.
90. You don’t do that to be like Jesus
91. You run around in farmers' fields, throwing stuff into the air, hoping you will hit a Poe.
92. You actually hit a Poe, then catch it in a bottle.
93. You scream out a random fairy name whenever you see a firefly.
94. You then try to run into it, expecting it to swirl around and invigorate you.
95. Seeing how it doesn't work, you try to catch it in a bottle.
96. You grab a mirror and expect it to bring you to another world by looking in it.
97. You go inside a talking tree to get an emerald.
98. You plant beans everywhere so they'll grow into flying plants.
99. You watch Sword in the Stone and say, "Don't take the sword! Ganondorf will get the Triforce!"
100. You run around with a bomb strapped to your face and go inside a bank. You yell, "Give me all of your money or I'll press the B button!"
101. You go up to your music teacher and ask to exchange your current instrument for an ocarina.
102. The Kokiri start getting older!
103. You hit stones so they can tell you the time!
104. Link grows up without getting the Master Sword.
105. You take archery lessons.
106. You use your archery skill to defeat invisible-but-its-arms monsters.
107. You run away from talking fireflies in case it says, "Hey, look, listen, look."
108. You make potions from mushrooms so you don't become a Stalfos
109. You pick up plants from the ground, throw them far away, and then expect them to explode.
110. You refuse to touch jellyfish because you think they might electrocute you.
111. You go fishing and try to catch fish in a bottle.
112. You try to catch bluish fire in a bottle so you can melt red-coloured ice.
113. You use a mirror to shine light on a rock and expect it to crumble away.
114. You accidentally chop up a signpost, so you hum the song of Healing and expect it to be repaired.
115. When #114 doesn't work, you hum the song of time to go back in time and remember not to chop up the signpost
116. You lose your sword when fighting someone in real life so you can do cool glitches.
117. You cried when you learned Tomb Raider would be a movie before a Zelda movie was ever considered by movie makers.
118. You spend all day at school thinking of strategies to beat Majora's Wrath.
119. You put on a mask and expect to control the moon.
120. You run around wearing tights, a tunic, and a matching hat.
121. You give a letter to someone and expect them to give you a bottle full of milk in return.
122. You wear a frog mask and expect all the frogs to sing and talk
123. You put on a mask and expect to turn into something else.
124. You ask a scarecrow to dance.
125. You shoot arrows at the sun, hoping they'll turn into fire arrows.
126. You go to a pottery and start smashing pots, hoping they'll have money inside.
127. Everything reminds you of Zelda
128. You complete a military training ground so your arrows will freeze your enemies
129. You never dash while a bomb is following you because it will blow up in 10 seconds
130. When you see cracks in the ground, you avoid them in case you stand on them too long, and you fall down a hole.
131. You try to climb on bears, hoping they'll help you get Cheval rope.
132. When stranded on a desert island, you try and get your equipment back off the animals there!
133. When someone sings, and there is a fat person in the audience, you say “no Veran, you won't conquer time!”
134. You walk in to peoples houses without knocking.
135. When studying Geometry or Trig, you do not see triangles. You see Triforce pieces. And if it's three triangles, well....
136. You doodle little Triforces and Master Swords all over your notes.
137. You try to talk to people using Z targeting.
138. You run through fields as fast as possible so you don't get caught there at night!
139. When you do get caught at night, you stand on the path, so the stalkilds won't get you!
140. On a farm, you put all the chickens in a corner, and ask the owner if you can play the super cucco game!
141. You must always take your Gameboy away with you, to continue playing Zelda, or just to know it's nearby!
142. You see a picture of a princess sleeping, and think it means you must stop Ganon again!
143. You see a dried up lake and think you have to beat a monster to get it filled up with water again.
144. You think dark storm clouds are an indication of evil forces.
145. Men wearing black and riding black horses, are clearly total evil!
146. You get really angry when your black marker pen doesn't work, as you try to write "Chateau Romani" on milk bottles!
147. In surveys, you put down your church as ‘Temple of Time’
148. You wonder why King Arthur didn't go to sleep after pulling the sword out of the stone.
149. You hum a Boss song all through your Math Quiz.
150. When your alarm wakes you in the morning, you say, "Go away, darn fairy."
151. You play your ocarina so a bird will take you somewhere
152. You set your computer to play the Sonata of Awakening whenever you log on.
153. You paint a Zelda mural on the wall of your bedroom.
154. You're getting tired, so you put on a mask and try to stay awake.
155. You tell your fiancée that you want to exchange masks at your wedding
156. You won't buy sapphires, because you don't want to be forced into engagement with the shop clerk!
157. You collect stones, because you figure that eventually you'll get the ones you need to open the door of time.
158. You are on a mission to end world hunger, and to do this, you travel from country to country attacking chickens, hoping an unlimited number will fall from the sky to attack. Food for everyone!
159. You try to sprout long blond hair and knit yourself a green, red and blue tunic
160. You spend time reading through walkthroughs of Zelda games you haven't got, so you can enjoy the game!
161. You make a Zelda wallpaper and screensaver on your computer, complete with the official Zelda I starting screen song.
162. You name your quadruplets Meg, Beth, Joelle, and Amy.
163. You buy a ranch and rename it Romani Ranch.
164. You then name your daughter Romani.
165. You buy a ranch and re-name it Lon Lon Ranch
166. You re-name yourself Talon
167. You name your daughter Malon
168. You hire a worker, on the condition he changes his name to Ingo!
169. You name the best horse on the ranch Epona
170. You play Epona’ song to help with the milking.
171. You set up ghost-traps around the barn on your ranch.
172. When your dog gets lost and is returned to you, you reward the finder with a heart piece
173. When you find a stray dog, you try to return it to its owner, so you can get a heart piece.
174. You run around looking for spiders with gold on them.
175. When you find one, you kill it, and expect to get a token.
176. You ask guards for discounts on the Hylian Shield.
177. You play Zelda's Lullaby in front of the biggest grave in your local graveyard.
178. You attack people with skull on their t-shirts
179. You re-name yourself link
180. You play all the Zelda games each day
181. You make a mask and call it the Majora’s mask
182. You hum a warp song to get out of class at school.
183. You go talking to rocks hoping they're Gorons
184. You wear the keaton mask thinking a keaton will pop out of nowhere
185. You go to where people are fighting with the couples mask thinking they'll stop the fighting.
186. You draw a triangle on your hand and think you've got the Triforce of courage
187. You're very protective of your Zelda games
188. You miss your fave Zelda site terribly when you're on holiday.
189. You must take your GB with on holiday, just to know you have the presence of Zelda.
190. You're lucky charm is a toy Zelda.
191. You called your mean old math teacher "Ganon" behind his back.
192. You ask if anyone wants to go to Kentucky Fried Cucco for dinner.
193. The first thing you do after turning 17 is go to your local graveyard to get the hookshot!
194. You pester your parents to get you new Zelda games when they come out!
195. You go as a Zelda character for Halloween.
196. You go to school with bombs, a biggoron sword, a Mirror shield, a bow and arrows, and a Lens of Truth so you can prove that the teacher is a monster and you kill him/her
197. You go to sleep and when your parent wakes you say, "Seven more years Mom/Dad."
198. You have a tendency to tell your Mum you're not hungry, but would like a bottle of milk, when you don't actually like milk.
199. You tie a bow on your dog's head and wonder why she doesn't give you her dog food.
200. When your Mom/Dad asks you to carry something heavy, you tell them to wait a minute while you go get your power bracelet.
201. When you get put in jail for trespassing, you attempt to hookshot out the window
202. When you do escape, you don't run for it, but wander the jail, searching for the carpenters!
203. When you heard the Carpenters had broken up, and stopped being in the news, you instantaneously believed they had been captured by the Gerudo!
204. When you reach the top of a mountain, and there happens to be an owl there, you ask it to fly you down to Kakariko.
205. You are cautious on your way to get a magnifying glass, after all, there may be invisible enemies.
206. You're afraid to go to sleep for fear that some poor hero will get trapped inside your dream.
207. You check each day to make sure the moon isn't falling
208. You wear a cows head and expect to be let into pubs
209. In your spare time you hit the ground and say "please, with C, please, with C"
210. You spend lots of time looking for posters of Zelda.
211. When you're bored your mind always flicks to Zelda
212. You can get to Zelda from anything, just following different trails of thought!
213. You go around the stores just to find Zelda magazines so you can have the life size poster in it
214. You claim you have the Triforce
215. When you draw a triforce on your hand and hope that it will take you to Hyrule
216. You love Zelda so much you break your TV trying to get inside it to be with the Characters!
217. You wouldn't dare do #216, because your TV is your sole contact with Zelda
218. You have at least ten Zelda web pages.
219. You have bongos, a guitar, an ocarina, a recorder, and a harp, but you couldn't find Deku pipes, so you made your own.
220. You build a tree house and attempt to keep a cow in it.
221. You die your hair red, and stand outside attempting to sing Epona’s song.
222. You get a red horse and scream, "HAAH!!" whenever you move.
223. You get a black horse and cackle madly whenever you move.
224. You make a gibdo mask out of toilet paper and dash to the nearest graveyard, hoping to make some zombie friends there
225. No one else will talk to you because every other word they'll hear is "Zelda."
226. When you get in to a fight with the bully at school, you get thrashed and attempt to call millions of cuccos to peck him until he leaves the area.
227. You refuse to let anyone near your vases.
228. You stay up all night every night to guard the cows.
229. Whenever you see a kid with a mask you freak out and start blowing bubbles on him, demanding your ocarina and horse.
230. You ask owls what to do next.
231. You won't eat chicken, because you can't stop thinking about what Anju's Hyrule counterpart would say
232. You decide to live in a tree house.
233. You wonder what rocks would taste like.
234. You try to find out.
235. You spit nuts at people.
236. You sing Zelda's Lullaby to your Zelda figurine before going to sleep each night!
237. You don't find these funny.
238. You get why people laugh at these because they are true to you.
239. You can draw Link.
240. You can draw all the rest of the characters.
241. You have lives.
242. You go to the store and tell them that your Deku shield burnt up and you need a new one.
243. You went through the trouble of finding out what Deku means in Japanese.
244. You feel like you only have three days to solve all your problems
245. You refuse to eat fish because it’s cruelty to Zoras
246. You named the family goldfish Gyorg
247. Your boyfriend thinks you're cheating on him because you call him Link
248. when you come out of your closet your mum says you've been missing for 7 years.
249. You freak out every time the moon comes out.
250. Think that toothpicks are miniature master swords.
251. You wear tunics to school each day. If it's hot, then you wear red. If it's raining, you wear blue. If it's any other weather, you just wear green.
252. You are caught worshiping Din, Nayru, and Farore.
253. When you go swimming, you wear your clothes because "In Zelda, they never get wet"
254. You name your dog/cat/bird/goldfish/rabbit/gerbil/hamster Link, Zelda, or Ganondorf
255. You carve a Triforce out of solid gold
256. You expect to have your wish granted when you pick up your Triforce
257. You name your child or change your name to Shigeru Miyamoto
258. You carve a perfect Light Medallion out of metal and paint it yellow
259. You carve a perfect Forest Medallion out of metal and paint it green
260. You carve a perfect Fire Medallion out of metal and paint it red
261. You carve a perfect Water Medallion out of metal and paint it blue
262. You carve a perfect Shadow Medallion out of metal and paint it purple
263. You carve a perfect Spirit Medallion out of metal and paint it orange
264. At 10, you go to a forest to get the Kokiri's Emerald!
265. At 10, you go to a mountain to get the Goron Ruby!
266. At 10, you go to a river to get the Zora Sapphire!
267. At 17, you go to the same forest in #264 to get the Forest Medallion!
268. At 17, you go to the same mountain in#265 to get the Fire Medallion!
269. At 17, you go to a lake to get the Water Medallion!
270. At 17, you go to a town graveyard to get the Shadow Medallion!
271. At 17, you go to a desert to get the Spirit Medallion!
272. When you can't do any of these, you seriously believe that Shigeru Miyamato lied to you!
273. When you look in the mirror you swear there was a blonde, blue eyed Hylian boy staring back at you.
274. You forget all about food, sleep and school and begin to focus on sharpening your fishing, training your horse, and shooting your fairy bow.
275. You learn that the currency in Djibouti (In Africa) is rupees while in the library and start to freak out.
276. Your hands are taking the form of your controller.
277. You have down on your "to do list" Find Epona, save princess Zelda, don't forget dinner!.
278. You dive in the ocean when you see a whale and try to go in it's mouth to save Princess Ruto.
279. When someone uses a pencil sharpener you use your pen or pencil to try and get a token. (The sound of the sharpener)
280. When you get in trouble and go to the principal, you yell at him/her "You can never defeat ME, Ganondorf!"
281. You seriously believe you can live for seven years without food or drink, as long as you're asleep.
282. You check your swimming pool everyday just in case Ganondorf froze it
283. You have a race with your friend and somersault to the finish line
284. Whenever you see a tree, you roll into it because there might be a gold Skulltula hidden in it.
285. Whenever you watch Star Trek, you insist that the Vulcans are from Hyrule because of their ears.
286. Whenever you see an explosion you think someone cast Din's fire.
287. You tell your friends you have magic power because you bought an ocarina.
288. When people ask to see your magic power, you only say no because you think one of them might be a skull kid in disguise who wants to steal it.
289. Someone does steal your ocarina, so you try to kill them by blowing bubbles on them.
290. When you see two people kissing at school, you call them Honey and Darling and ask if you can play.
291. Whenever someone drinks a green drink, you think they're replenishing their magic power.
292. You throw bombs at, shoot arrows at, and slash your friends with a sword, because you think you can only hurt your enemies.
293. Whenever astronauts go to the moon, you think they're going to save the world and retrieve an evil mask.
294. You go to a pet store and ask if they have Gorons.
295. You go to a restaurant and ask for Rock Sirloin.
296. When you buy milk you ask for Chateau Romani.
297. When they don't have Chateau Romani, you go to a farm and look for ghosts.
298. The people on the farm have no clue who you are, so you say "Just call me grasshopper".
299. You buy a wormlight/sharklight/glowguard and a Plug and Play so you can play Zelda everywhere, every minute.
300. When your parents complain that you play Zelda so much and that it racks up too much money on the electricity bills, you say, "Here's 50 rupees, buy a new hat!"
301. You kill a dog and eat its heart hoping to regenerate health.
302. You kill a big spider, a giant lizard, and a jellyfish and go to church looking for a sword that will put you to sleep for seven years.
303. You stare at the moon hoping a tear will fall down.
304. You spot 'Zelda' written on a wall on a advert
305. You beat Ganon with the Iron boots on
306. You look at the name and say, "I'm not entering that topic! There's no such thing as too much Zelda!"
307. You keep this stored on your hard drive
I'm adding my own to this...
308. everytime it's windy you yell "Go Away Vaati!"
309.You attempt to teleport through a mirror thinking it will lead to the palace of twilight
310. you believe your boat can and will talk to you.
311.You name a stuffed animal after a Zelda character.
312.you think maybe if you get in a cannon it will shoot you into the city in the sky.
313.You don't charge people for cutting their lawn because you think that money is already in it.
314.you try to teach your dog to howl Zelda songs
315.you thnk that soup will solve all your health problems
316.you have a dream in which you have to save your pirate friend.
317. you start calling your green cap Ezlo
318. You attempt to pull a Vaati and kidnap pretty girls at your school.
319. you put a toy on your dog's or cat's back and tell him/her let Midna guide you..
320. you refer to all major lakes landmarks or towns as zelda places.
321. you won't eat chickens or any poultry the Rito will seek revenge if you do.
322.you say that your mushrooms Hide the Picori village

Geno