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When Grandma visits you, my dears,
Be good as you can be;
Don't put hot waffles in her ears,
Or beetles in her tea.
Don't sew a pattern on her cheek
With worsted or with silk;
Don't call her naughty names in Greek,
Or spray her face with milk.
Don't drive a staple in her foot,
Don't stick pins in her head;
And, oh, I beg you, do not put
Live embers in her bed.
These things are not considered kind;
The worry her, and tease -
Such cruelty is not refined
It always fails to please.
Be good to Grandma, little chaps,
Whatever else you do;
And then she'll grow to be - perhaps -
More tolerant of you.
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Please, Mother, don't stab Father with the bread-knife.
Remember 'twas a gift when you were wed.
But if you must stab Father with the bread-knife,
Please, Mother, use another for the bread.
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Please, Mother, don't stab Father with the bread-knife.
Remember 'twas a gift when you were wed.
But if you must stab Father with the bread-knife,
Please, Mother, use another for the bread
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I said, 'This horse, sir, will you shoe?'
And soon the horse was shod.
I said, 'This deed, sir, will you do?'
And soon the deed was dod!
I said, 'This stick, sir, will you break?'
At once the stick he broke.
I said, 'This coat, sir, will you make?'
And soon the coat he moke!
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'Tis midnight, and the setting sun
Is slowly rising in the west;
The rapid rivers slowly run,
The frog is on his downy nest.
The pensive goat and sportive cow,
Hilarious, leap from bough to bough.
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