Read This Or Nothing
Fake friends: Never ask for food.
True friends: are the reasons you have no food.
Fake friends: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
True friends: Call your parents DAD/MOM
Fake friends: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
Truefriends: Would sit next to you saying "Damn ... we messed up ... but that s**t was fun!"
Fake friends: never seen you cry.
True friends: cry with you
Fake friends: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
True friends: keep your s**t so long they forget its yours.
Fake friends: know a few things about you.
True friends: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
Fake friends: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
True friends: Will kick the whole crowds a** that left you.
Fake friends: Would knock on your front door.
True friends: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"
Fake friends: Are for a while.
True friends: Are for life.
Fake friends: will talk s**t to the person who talks s**t about you.
True friends: Will knock them the f**k out
Fake friends: Will read this.
True friends: Will steal this>
Funny
Pick the month you were born:
1 - I ate
2 - I jumped
3 - I stabbed
4 - I licked
5 - I robbed
6 - I ran naked with
7 - I smoked with
8 - I cuddled with
9 - I shot
10 - I bangged
11 - I killed
12 - I swam with
Pick the day you were born on:
01 - A toothbrush
02 - a dog
03 -a hottie
04 - a rock star
05 - a who.re
06 - my lover
07 - a glass of milk
08 - a twinkie
09 - the kool-aid man
10 - my boyfriend
11 - the trojan man
12 - a po.rn star
13 - a teletubby
14 - Paris Hilton
15 - a horse
16 - a pot head
17 - a bum
18 - a stripper
19 - a betch
20 - a crack head
21 - a homeless guy
22 - barney the dinasaur
23 - the cookie monster
24 - a bag of weed
25 - a bowl of cereal
26 - the one i love
27 - an easter egg
28 - a french fry
29 - your mom
30 - a mop
31 - Ur grandma
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White - because some betch stole my taco
Black - because I'm sexy like that
Pink - Because I'm good in bed
Red - because I love to snort cocaine.
Brown- because I had to
Polka Dots - because I hate my boyfriend!!!
Purple - because I'm gay
Gray - because I love marijuana
Other - because I have double D's
Green - because Someone cut me off
Orange - because I smoke crack
Turquoise - because I have a noodle in my nose
Blue - because I'm a pimp
Shirtless - because I've got abs
Ty dye- because I didn't like the way they looked at me
(I shot a mop because im sexy like that)
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