She had a stained glass window for a heart -
a shoebox for a chest cavity, and a kaleidoscope for a soul
that would reflect its light back at me.
Depending on the day, she shone different colors.
She had a handful of favorites that she kept locked inside her cupboards.
She's got drawers in her stomach,
yeah she knows how to swallow her pride,
but it get compartmentalized in the crawlspaces,
and builds up inside.
She says she's fine, but she lies,
so she keeps sunglasses on to try to hide her eyes.
And at night, she stays out of the shadows -
it's one of the only times that her true color shines.
She says, You're talking about me like you know what I mean,
but you know nothing about leading that kind of life.
Baby doll, my heart is as black as my lungs are.
I keep bitterness in these cabinets next to all my bad habits -
you either find faith, or lose it - you either had it or have it -
Well I have had it!
So I wear my smile on the good days that I keep in these baskets,
wear my grimace facing life without the opiate for the masses.
You pop your god like these pills that I take
to bear the circumstances -
What's the difference? I called out to your god,
but he never listened.
You call it praying, well I'm just wishing
that things could've been different.
She says her daddy didn't want her,
so she squanders to be the mother/father figure for her daughter.
A piece of clay recreating herself as a beautiful basin
from the situation that she was placed in -
build for retaining life -
a feat manufactured without the proper water or the potter
And her heart
it cuts like a knife!
It's priceless and it's as hard as a diamond,
but she's been selling it for nickels and everybody's been buying.
So now there's cracks in the basin,
the way there's cracks in the basement -
the one that daughter's daddy beat her in when she'd dare to face him
the way there's cracks in the cement that she can dig her high heels in
while she waits for another customer to pour his water in.
She says her momma was a little bit crazy, a little lazy,
a little biased towards the media mainstream.
Prone to fainting or naming it fainting when she'd pass out after blazing
just after papa came home late for the hazing.
The alcohol made him crazy!
That's when I started praying, praying, praying,
but nothing's changing, changing, changing, so that's when I started blaming, blaming, blaming,
we're all on our own, the stars are empty, there's no hand out there to
save me, save me,
Save me.
She loved Vogue, and American teen magazines,
almost as much as she loved vomiting
to try to match the model women that she'd she on the movie screens.
Says, I believe that she loved me,
and maybe it's a fantasy,
but I believe that she cared for me the way she cared for her methamphetamines.
Don't tell me I need saving! You point those fingers so righteously,
all these people pushing for me to practice their piety
well, I gave your god a chance to save me,
so thank you kindly, greatly, but it's just me and my baby,
me and my little girl - us against the world, well
Sweet dreams, daughter!
I'm gonna be your mother!
I'm gonna be your father!
So every time another man just like her father bought her,
she spent the nickels on diamonds for her daughter.
She had prisms for eyes - and one time she took off her mask,
and let me inside.
I paid her for her time, told her that she was valuable and she replied,
Only as valuable as the next man in line.
Well I came to tell you that you're beautiful. I think you're lovely.
I think that you're made for more than you've settled for.
She said, All of them tell me they love me.
I used to dream, I used to have big plans,
I used to believe that there was something out there
that was bigger than me, and that he would take care of me,
and that I could grow up to be whatever I wanted to be,
but I guess it's too late for me,
so I started selling my dignity to give my daughter that dream,
and to make it a reality
I used to dream! I never meant to quit!
So who's to blame for this bullsh-
Shh, shh, girl, I will not even mention
it.
The hands that we're dealt - I don't understand.
And I don't have all the answers, and I don't know all the plans.
I just wanted to tell you that you're beautiful, I think you're lovely,
I think I know love that loves the unloving.
Yeah! You told me your god was gorgeous,
but I just can't see it! I want so badly to see color!
I want so badly to believe it!
I keep an ounce of hope inside one dresser drawer in my chest!
Every now and then, it grows, if watered, to a seedling, at best
One time, it grew and stretched through the cracks into the next,
but I just can't make it blossom, cause I just can't make myself forget
and now there's nearly nothing left
She's got a kaleidoscope soul, but she's got grayscale lenses,
she's got rod-iron bars to keep up her defenses.
She's got all of her emotions hung up on hooks in her closets,
she's got little hints of happiness tucked away in her lockets.
She's got high hopes of heaven stapled to the doors of her cabinets,
she wraps the hopes up in packets of personal baggage to mask it.
She's got angels singing to her
from the lips of ballerinas in a music box that
she keeps locked behind a door that's cemented to a heart of rocks,
but if you knock long enough, they say that door could be opened.
Here's to hoping
until then, I wanted you to know
that you're beautiful. I think you're lovely,
I think I know love that loves the unloving.
I think you're still loved, I still think it's true.
I swear that there's more hope out there for you.
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I'll be in Arizona Sunday night and part of Monday! I've never really paid attention to some of the beef jerky places people keep telling me to visit, because I'm gullible and indiscriminately all-consuming when it comes to food... Is there anything you'd recommend?
Yeah! The badges are awesome this year! In the past years, they were always just a piece of paper, so it wasn't much. I attended the Gaia panel at anime expo, and they answered mysteries regarding tektek, zomg, the inflation problem. I'd be happy to tell you what they said if you're wondering as well. It seems that they're going over some really rough patches, but we shall see...
AND DUDE~ Anime Expo has shade tent things up for the lines omgSOFLIPPINGHAPPY and they have some pretty nice badges this year!
That seems fun! Yosemite is so beautiful! Are you going all days of Anime Expo? I'm working at it haha
No need to thank me! I love being nerdy ^^
*foists all my dust gathering extras on you*
What part of Yosemite have you been to? I'll be roaming Anime Expo from 4am Friday July 3rd until 2am the next day with my friend Megan, who also knows Jacob. We actually went with him to AX all four days the year before he moved! We'll probably be hanging out at the exhibition hall and artist alley until 4pm, then ramen in Little Tokyo, and then maybe a panel, and then dancing all night in the anime dance thing they always have. We can try to meet up or I'll just come and say hi for a minute if you're able :3
I'll let you know when I get my deck in July! I'm leaving tomorrow for a seven day backcountry backpacking trip in Yosemite, so I'll be gone for a week, then I'll be at Anime Expo the following week, then I'll be back in NM smile Hope your summer's going well, thanks for being nerdy with me!
I think the most impressive mtg collection I've ever seen was in my friend's house... he and his wife has a walk-in closet filled with those white card tray boxes... it felt like I walked from their living room into a mtg shop haha razz
My sliver deck right now is 60 cards. I can go for a 100 commander deck since I tend to never use the same card twice in a deck if I can help it.... but I've never played that style before. I'm still a noob when it comes to mtg, you might have to walk me through a couple practice battles if you want to battle.
I believe that o_O I have two boxes of extra mtg cards that are gathering dust if you guys want them. I'm running a sliver deck (I own every sliver in existence) until I have enough experience to run a more complex theme.