Favorite Quotes

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
—Philos of Alexandria

Girl: "I looked both ways before crossing and thought I'd at least make it halfway."
Boy: "...before getting run over?"

"I will gouge out your eye, turn it into a coffee mug, disembowel you with a cereal spoon, collect the blood and organs that fall out in said coffee mug, and pour it into your eye socket."
—Unknown Girl

"I'm trying to figure out the deep spiritual meaning of this poem...so far I got murder suspects."
—Saint Gaxinua

Girl: "I left my hot cocoa outside and it froze."
Boy: "Enjoy your cylindrical chocolate bar."

"My Bayonets are blessed"
"Oh yeah? Well my Gun is the reincarnation of Bruce Willis"
"...he's not dead."
—Kei-Tono

Roxas: "I can improvise."
Xion: "Roxas, that's a stick."
—Kingdom Hearts 358 / 2 Days

"Enjoy the taste of hopeless romance and failed logic about vampires!"
—Infinitio Abeo, on the Twilight series

"The flower meaning of salty cookies is 'Goodbye Forever'..."
—Kana Nakamachi, Kanamemo

"Women are kittens with mystical stomachs."
—15-year-old Lambo Bovino, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

"Daddy once told me that when mommy passed away, she was taken by the butterflies into Heaven. From that day forward, I swore that I would torture and kill every last one of them until they would reveal to me the location of this so called 'Heaven' "
—Red Butterfly Item Description, Gaia Online

"WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB AND WE'RE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN!"
—Kim Pine, Scott Pilgrim vs The World

"During Gaia's prehistoric period, huge earthquakes crushed countless creatures within the planet's surface. The torrent of blood squeezed out of them formed underground lakes, which, as any geologist can tell you, were compacted by heat and pressure into these precious stones-- useful for ornamental, scientific and stabbing purposes."
—Ruby Pendant Item Description, Gaia Online

"fern puts the sexy in dyslexia"
—Marshal Poi (aka Lostyboy)

"One time I went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out! :3"
—ptrckbllrd

"Cleavage... the irritating spot I tend to lose my food in."
—K y a n d i i, about herself. xd

"He's like if a Norwegian dude and a Japanese dude had a dude baby with a bunch of swords and sh!t"
—Fred

"In His peace, everything God provides is a source of tipsiness."
—Mr.Martinez

"Dated some otaku chicks. Here are a few rules of thumb to remember:
1. The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
2. By and large, they are bi and large."
—Ghostsarecool

"You should never put a cap on violence!! Suppressing violent urges only leads to psychological, internal violence! Got it? If I were to use an analogy, I'd turn to yeast! The root of all breadmaking!!"
—Haruko Haruhara, FLCL

"Thats a fail excuse, real pokemon masters don't need legandary to be epic! WE MAKE OUR OWN LEGENDS!"
—Saint Gaxinua, about Pokemon

Lucia: "I'm a demon."
Dante: "..."
Lucia: "Fight me to the death!"
Dante: "No."
Lucia: "Yes!"
Dante: "No."
Lucia: "But I'm evil."
Dante: "No."
Lucia: "You're right... My life has meaning now. Thank you, Dante! Let's fight evil!"
Dante: "..." (too cool to say 'yes')
—LaughingMan, reviewing Devil May Cry 2

AlexxShadenk777: "What is Devil Trigger?"
Shadow Edge: "A miserable pile of secrets!"
—Some guys talking about DMC3 and Castlevania

"Blood is red/ Holy Water is blue/ But enough talk/ Have at you!"
—UbberDevil, scaring the children

"We're all just one montage away from becoming a better person."
—Unknown

"...whenever I try to paint, I always seem to descend into a mad psychedelic reverie and experience a visit by one of the Muses of Color, who guides me through fantastical realms of pure expression. When I wake up, I've created some sort of mind-bending kaleidoscopic masterpiece which reduces me to tears with its emotional potency... but I prefer simple landscapes and little paintings of quaint cottages, so I don't really care for my own work."
—[NPC] GRS Accountant Ivan, Gaia Online

"Cats are tiny women in cheap fur coats"
—Mousy Vulpes

"Hi! I'm a super fighting robot! I'M here to super fight."
—Mega Man, MSPaint Masterpieces

"What is Electric Man? A miserable pile of circuits!"
—Enker, talking about Elec Man and Castlevania

"In DC One Million the Flash won a footrace with himself by going fast enough to be in two places at once via time travel. So the Flash is faster than everything else in the universe including the Flash."
—TV Tropes, about The Flash

The Gaga Law,
(RAH)² (AH)³ + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)² + OOH(LA)² = Bad Romance
—ArcadePixel, doing math

"Nero was ******** awesome if you played him right. Table hopper like the ******** fist of the north star"
—Anonymous, on DMC4

"If you go back on your word, I'll find where you live and ring the doorbell every night at midnight!"
—President Tanaka, Shin Megami Tensei Persona 3

Alex: $10 deep fryers @ HEB plus with coupon. 'tis the season to be a fatass.
Christian: Load up on deep fryers wey!
—What my hometown is really like

"The Everway RPG had among its legendary artifacts a sword named the "The Edge of Light and Darkness", which was created to exemplify 'the dividing line between Is and Is Not.' The Edge of Light and Darkness could cut anything its owner could conceive of cutting, and could wield the blade with sufficient skill to hit. In addition to the relatively mundane task of doing a Clean Cut through any physical substance, known examples include cutting through the fabric of space-time to create portals between alternate universes, killing an opponent by cutting his soul free of his body (without actually leaving any physical wounds on his body), and destroying a pocket universe by slicing the substance of reality into its fundamental elemental components."
—TV Tropes, Absurdly Sharp Blade

"Maybe when I get married, I'll make my husband pay me for sex so it makes me feel better about myself. I'll also accept payments of starburst jellybeans."
—K y a n d i i, selling herself for candy

"Phase one is anger, discontent with what politicians are saying/somehow believing. phase two is trolling."
—Star of an Empty Orchestra

Soria: i like you because you like my ugly a** draw something drawings.♥ biggrin
Selene: i like you cause you're you.
Soria: I LIKE YOU CAUSE YOU'RE BLUE!
Selene: dabudeedabudaiiii...
—Some dialogue between some friends of mine

"The final, bloated fragments of pulverized, frappéd Diedrich offspring have been squeegeed off the site. That is all."
—ubermegAtrOn, on a devAlert

"El inglés es ideal para hablar de negocios, el alemán se hizo para las ciencias, el francés es el lengua del amor y el español... Ah, el español, es el idioma para hablar con Dios…" *
—Victor Hugo

"In a kid's yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle. That is to say, HE CAN HARDLY BE CONSIDERED A TERRIBLY PROPER GENTLEMAN AT ALL."
—Homestuck

GG: I'm becoming convinced that our "dream selves" are being picked off by violent hooligans.
TG: s**t
TG: hooliginas
TG: * ...
TG: * yes
—Homestuck

"A father without a pipe is like a strapping roughneck without a toothpick. That is to say, HE IS A RATHER PISS-POOR EXCUSE FOR A ROUGHNECK IF YOU ASK ME."
—Homestuck

"Life, after all, is a fatal disease, and the mortality rate for humans, at the end of the day, is 100 percent."
—K.C. Cole

“When the first living thing existed, I was there waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job will be finished. I'll put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights, and lock the universe behind me as I leave.”
—Death

GG: You just typed wonk five times in a row!
TG: i have only junst begun to wonk
—Homestuck

Lots of characters suffer from Parental Abandonment, but Rincewind's mother "ran away before he was born." This is never explained, because it is unexplainable.
—TV Tropes

"Death gurgle."
—A dying Psycho, Borderlands 2

"In the interest of factual reporting, this intrepid reporter combined every single new potion and booster into a potent, fizzy cocktail and then drank the entire thing. When I came to, I realized I had run through several solid brick walls whilst shrieking "I'M THE JUGGERNAUT!" and firing off a handful of choice profanities -- or so my cameraman told me, as I have no memory of the events."
—Cindy Donovihn, Gaia Online

"Thats a good goal to set, the gender of your spouse."
—Saint Gaxinua, to Kyandii

"everyone is fond of owls"
—everanix, on owls

"The owls are not what they seem."
—Nikunya, on owls

"HOW 'BOUT EGGS?"
"...but what does that have to do with Jesus?"
"ALRIGHT, WE'LL HIDE 'EM!"
"...I don't...follow your logic..."
—Jim Gaffigan, Easter

"surprise, b***h"
—someone who you thought you've seen the last of

"The FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER explodes. It simply cannot take this much horseshit."
—Homestuck

Gunvolt: Take a hike before you get hurt.
Viper: I'm gonna hike my boot right up your exit hatch, is what I'm gonna do.
—Azure Striker Gunvolt, Conflagration - The Burning Wrath

"DMB Falchion was basically the 5th horse of the apocalypse. "
—InfernoPlus, on Dark Souls 1 / Oroboro the Ninja

"You Get A Shitty Old Guy Standing There All Cool Looking"
—Kate Holden, Kate's Friday Night Dungeon Crawl, 29 May 2015

"It Is A Little Dragon Which Is The Size Of A Horse"
—Kate Holden, Kate's Friday Night Dungeon Crawl, 29 May 2015

"Sister Ray [...] fired a beam of concentrated dead-people-energy at the speed of murder, and is fully capable of liquefying anything."
—panzar dragoon

"I wonder how many quotes fit in this thing..."
—me, wondering how many quotes fit in this thing

TG: ive been laying waste to chumps nonstop
TG: its like they heard somebody over here was handing out asses and theyve known nothing but years of bitter a** famine
—turntechGodhead, Homestuck

GA: It Seems To Me The Nature Of The Afterlife Is Probably Very Old Fashioned
GA: Maybe Even The Most Old Fashioned A Thing Can Get
—grimAuxiliatrix, Homestuck

DAVE: what is he the mayor of anyway
KARKAT: HE'S THE DULY ELECTED MAYOR OF THE FRUITY RUMPUS a*****e FACTORY, AND HE JUST CUT THE RIBBON TO A BRAND NEW MUSEUM FULL OF PRICELESS SHUT THE ******** UP.
—carcinoGeneticist arguing with turntechGodhead, Homestuck