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Internal screaming. Yes, that's what I'm doing right now. I'm so very upset, but I'm not sure wheather to be angry or depressed. This is an odd question, but I need someone to tell me how to feel. So there's this guy. There's always a guy. I've liked him ever since I moved here, but I've never said anything about it. I'm not even sure if he notices me at all, I mean come on, who would notice someone like me? ((Rhetorical question, don't answer unless you would like to add to the unhappiness.))So after school, me and my friend were walking towards the buses, me and him are laughing and all, and then I look around, there the guy is, holding her hand, she's so close to him. Since I never told anyone that I have feelings for him, I didn't act too upset in front of my friend, I told him a had a mere stomach ache. ((Which wasn't entirely a lie, I felt horrible after seeing that.)) Sure, he says hi to me sometimes, but only if he has no one else to talk to. I'm a last resort. I don't know if I gave up on him or not. I have no reason to be mad at him, he did nothing wrong, but I still can't help but being emotional. ((And if someone comments on here 'no wonder he doesn't notice you, because you're emo and strange', I'll strangle you)) I now am an emotional basket case, though I don't like to show it at school, or anywhere else for that matter. And now my friends are on my case because I've been moody. But of course, I can't tell them why, I know they'll just make fun of me. Especially sphurti. They ask why I look so sad, and I just say: 'Didn't get any sleep, is all'. Which is complete bullshit. Well, there you have it. What should I feel? Anger, depression, relief that I don't have to feel embarrassed when he walks by, or maybe nothing at all.
 Iris_Crepsley · Fri May 11, 2007 @ 09:29pm · 1 Comments |
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