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His name's D.K.
That's not very long
Those letters stand for
Donkey Kong

He's so strong
He could do as he please
But he'd rather stay home
And swing in the trees

While his partner
May be itty bitty
There's no one better
Than having Diddy

I don't know what he's thinking
He must be high
Because he walks around wearing
Nothing but a tie

He already knows
He's easily the best
He even shows it
By pounding on his chest

When you make fun at him
He doesn't have a clue
But take his banana
And he'll beat the crap out of you

In smash brothers
He has his own way
And he could beat up
Piss Yeller all day

When he feels tired
Or wants a joint
He remembers to hit up
Candy's save point

If he needs some advice
About a certain foe
Cranky's cabin is where
He needs to go

Donkey Kong
Has no fear of heights
And usually travels
On Funky's flights

He's heard of someone
Who has been so cruel
And now it's his mission
To stop King K. Rule

While he may be
The greatest in power
Cranky beat the game
In less than an hour

He may not be smart
Or the most clever
But Donkey Kong Country
Is the best game ever

Mario is nothing
As he sits home and cries
Because he knows Donkey Kong
Is Nintendo's real franchise