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I just don't get it. o-o How come I'm constantly making mistakes?
No matter what I say or do, I always screw something up. ~.~
Constant.
...
And when little facts hit me, it hurt just slightly. xD I guess it's kind of the realization. o-o I wouldn't be making sense to anyone at the moment. xD
Just babbling.
And then I realize. xD I'm bringing more attention upon myself with this. o-o If I stated that I'm at the verge of crying at this very moment, it brings on a guilt trip. It makes me seem like I'm trying to establish it as a fact that I want to be lain across and out in the open. o-o
I tend to write in this journal when I've got no one to talk to. o-o Pass my time away. When I have something to vent about.
But that's just being turning it around on myself again. D:
So just nevermind that.
My insides hurt. How come? Dx I didn't eat anything bad yet today. ._.
Not fair at all.
...
Everyday, this cat meows at me and jumps on my lap. Then she goes on the table. I say "Bad kitty," and put her back on the ground. It happens everyday. Quite a few many times.
Everyday, I wake up in the morning. o-o For a time that's set on my alarm clock. Same time everyday. And as soon as I smack my brain into wake-up mode, I'm downstairs on the computer. o-o
I do my schoolwork at the same time, everyday. o-o And each day, I stare at the clock, longing for it to be almost done.
Shower. Everyday. First I wash my hair. Just like every other time. Then I put in the conditioner. As I let it sit, I was the rest of me. Rinse. Then stand in there for a little bit, thinking. Thinking about nothing really. But thinking. o-o And then, I turn off the water, grab my towel, wrap it around me, and stand there for a couple minutes. Just allowing the water to slowly drip off me, staring at the closed shower curtain. Then usually I migrated to the side of the tub, and just sit there. o-o Waiting for whatever spark happens to get me to stand up and start brushing my hair. Then I leave that room and get myself dressed. o-o
And it's like that, every damned time. o-o
...
I eat. o-o To the point of which I'm not hungry anymore. But in time, I'll just be hungry again. o-o And then what? I eat again. o-o
I walk the same patterns, breathe the same speeds. ~.~
And though, it feels so damned redundant. o-o So painfully repetitively...
It's hard to really notice. o-o And unless you really think about it, you'll go about pressing the same buttons, opening the same doors, but never really care to realize that you once lived this day before. o.o
Every seven days, you're stuck on the same day again. Every twelve months, you're living the same month again. o-o The minutes go by at the same even pace. o-o
But really. o-o Everyday, something new happens. o-o Even if you don't see it. D: A little feeling deep inside you; a word you've never heard before. You learn things, you become something. o-o
Perhaps...
Use the same phrases, but they never lose their feeling. o-o Whether to other people or not, you know you always still mean what you say.
Hear the same jokes, feel the same breeze. But sometimes you still laugh, you still sigh with relief. o-o
And when you're crying the same tears, it still hurts as bad as it did the first time. Even though people say things die out over time. o-o I'll still feel the same highing thrills with things people will lose interest in. Dx
And everytime I see your name flash on the screen, the same easily excited giddy feeling pulses somewhere inside me.
And everytime I know I'm going to see you, I could probably not get too much happier. <3 'Cept the point of which I do see you. <3
*takes kitty off the table*
See what you inspired, kitty? D:
*hic*
Please excuse this rather pointless entry. :3
I love you. <3
Please come again. Dx
- Sakura Lied.
 Lyccea · Wed May 23, 2007 @ 12:24pm · 0 Comments |
