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So, I started to talk to him last night,
And continued talking to him today.
And I hoped, beyond hoped, he'd reveal he had some sort of feeling for me...
Instead, he told me he's moving to North Carloina after schools out. D:
Now, I wouldn't be able to call him...Or hang out with him....Anything.
All that I ever dreamed we could be,
Everthing that I know we should be...
Has faded away into the endless bounds of forever.

I can remember, when we used to go to school together...
How many times I would see his hand next to mine, and I'd wish to hold it.
How many times I would hear him breathe and pray to hear it for everyday for the rest of my life.
How many times we stood close, and I wished it was closer still.

What makes us fall in love?
He's not anything special looks wise,
And he's a total dork.
Was it that goofy dorkiness that made me fall for him?
Could it be all those years spent together; our friendship?
Was I pre-destined to him?
From the time I last saw him 3 years ago,
I said to myself, if we meet again...Then it's true.
And I thought. I wondered. I pondered. I dreamed.
Of everything I was going to say to him...
Yet now, my throat runs dry.
Now...It's all over.
The chance that I got is slipping threw my fingers once more.


But, I guess at least I have closure now,
And I can still talk to him online...

&& && Maybe I should invite him to gaia...
Of course, that would mean I'd have to delete these journals.

Edit:
Conversation between Megan and I that reveals my true feels for him:

Megan: Well if you really love him, don't you think he should know how you feel before he leaves? Let me ask you, when you think about him, does your heart start to race? Do you get really giddy??


Me:That's easier said then done. >< What if I tell him and he never speaks to me again? ><

My heart? It nearly pops out of my chest. Everytime I hear his name, my head turns. Somehow, I can find a piece of him in every conversation I have. I'd be willing to give up everything at the drop of a hat for him. I can't help but be happy when I think about him, or talk to him, and I'd walk to the ends of the earth to find him, if I had to. He's even left me hanging so many times in the past, and yet, I love him so much, I can look past that, and see the good behind it.

Every night, he litters my dreams. Every day, my thoughts. I every breath...I take for him. He brings out the best in me, especailly writing wise. He's everything to me.