Damn it.... I feel more depressed then ever. It's offical. My whole family hates me.
I was talking with my brother. We got into the usual agument about me being a vegitarien and all, I asked him somthing and hea replied with, "I'm a normal human bieng, just like you." I felt so happy that he had finlay exepted me. I was just about to ask if he ment that when he said, "Oh wait, I forgot, your not normal, like me." I asked him what he ment by that. He didn't answer. I asked again and he said, "Just think about it."
I'm so mad and depressed right now. I just can't take it anymore! I feel like going back to banging my head against my wall. I felt like slaping him and yelling at him at the top of my lungs. He hates me because of who I am. Because of who I love. Because of what I eat, what I say, what I do. He hates everything about me and I just want to go crawl up in a corrner and cry till I can't anylonger. I just want my family to love me like they used to. I just want to be normal to them. I want them to see and to accsept me for who I am. I juat want to not have to be locked in the closet 24/7 around them. It makes me want to thorw up and cry. That's why I havn't been eating, that's why I've been so depressed. I can't show emotion at home so my friends have to deal with me and I just can't take it any longer! It's been building up and it's just going to keep building up. I wont be able to keep it in much longer. I don't know how much longer I'm going to last. When I get this way, I can't be stopped for a long time. Fighting with everyone doesn't help. I'm sorry if I've been ignoring you.
I'm sorry if I've done somthing wrong but...
I can't help it right now.
I'm afrid to cross the street now because those thoughts are back.
I'm afraid that my legs are just going to stop moving in the middle of the street.
But, I know they won't but I still can't shake those thoughts.
I know that once a certan person reads this, I'm going to get a phone call from them. I just want them to know that I'm fine and I won't actuly do anything. I made that promis and I'm keeping it.
I was talking with my brother. We got into the usual agument about me being a vegitarien and all, I asked him somthing and hea replied with, "I'm a normal human bieng, just like you." I felt so happy that he had finlay exepted me. I was just about to ask if he ment that when he said, "Oh wait, I forgot, your not normal, like me." I asked him what he ment by that. He didn't answer. I asked again and he said, "Just think about it."
I'm so mad and depressed right now. I just can't take it anymore! I feel like going back to banging my head against my wall. I felt like slaping him and yelling at him at the top of my lungs. He hates me because of who I am. Because of who I love. Because of what I eat, what I say, what I do. He hates everything about me and I just want to go crawl up in a corrner and cry till I can't anylonger. I just want my family to love me like they used to. I just want to be normal to them. I want them to see and to accsept me for who I am. I juat want to not have to be locked in the closet 24/7 around them. It makes me want to thorw up and cry. That's why I havn't been eating, that's why I've been so depressed. I can't show emotion at home so my friends have to deal with me and I just can't take it any longer! It's been building up and it's just going to keep building up. I wont be able to keep it in much longer. I don't know how much longer I'm going to last. When I get this way, I can't be stopped for a long time. Fighting with everyone doesn't help. I'm sorry if I've been ignoring you.
I'm sorry if I've done somthing wrong but...
I can't help it right now.
I'm afrid to cross the street now because those thoughts are back.
I'm afraid that my legs are just going to stop moving in the middle of the street.
But, I know they won't but I still can't shake those thoughts.
I know that once a certan person reads this, I'm going to get a phone call from them. I just want them to know that I'm fine and I won't actuly do anything. I made that promis and I'm keeping it.
Community Member
As for your brother, I know that he's jealous of you. You have good grades, a girlfriend who loves you, loyal friends and a wonderful personality, plus, your parents pay way more attention to you. Even though you wish they'd leave you alone, I think he feels just the opposite. Anyway, he needs their help a lot more. I know it might not help to hear this, but you're both normal human beings, he just needs a lot more help.
You say that I "have to" deal with you, but that's not how I see it. How I see it, I get to help you. It's a privilege and an honor to take care of you like you take care of me. I'm flattered that you let me see what goes on in your mind, and I wouldn't trade with anyone in the world. I cherish the time we spend together, and if occasionally you need me to comfort you, I'm more than happy to do it. I love you, you darling stoic. I'd do anything for you. Please try to eat something, you think about ten times clearer with food in your stomach.
And try to be gentle with yourself. This is the time that you need to be your ally and your enemy. Call me, e-mail me or message me whenever you need me. Calling times are 7:00 AM to 10:00 PM every day, and the rest is open 24/7. I love you with all my heart, and I'm going to take care of you and keep you safe. I'm always here for you.