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Natalie ... has joined the conference.

Sandy Ornelas has joined the conference.

Sandy Ornelas: hola mimi! whats wrong?
Natalie ...: heya
Hamim Sultana: nhi
Hamim Sultana: it's ok im fine
Sandy Ornelas: r u sure?
Natalie ...: what did ur sis do?
Hamim Sultana: whatever she does all the time. because of her all my plans are ruined
Hamim Sultana: and i'll probably be unprepared for tomorrow's trp...<_<
Sandy Ornelas: what plans?
Natalie ...: she did something to ruin ur trip?
Hamim Sultana: no...but i'll be unprepared probably...grrr...
Natalie ...: oh
Natalie ...: im so sorry mimzy
Hamim Sultana: it's ok...i'm reading the article about DID
Hamim Sultana: and it really applies to me...and I mean a LOT
Hamim Sultana: not just a few tings
Natalie ...: DID?
Hamim Sultana: but i mean like EVERYTHING ther's saying describes me..
Natalie ...: oh
Natalie ...: the identity thing
Hamim Sultana: Dissociative Identity Disorder
Natalie ...: yeah
Hamim Sultana: read thisissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is defined in the DSM-IV-TR as a condition where a single individual evidences two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. It is believed that at least two of these personalities may routinely take control of the individual's behavior. There is also some associated memory loss, which goes beyond normal forgetfulness, often referred to as "losing time".


Hamim Sultana: Dissociative identity disorder was initially named multiple personality disorder (MPD), and, as referenced above, that name remains in the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems. Regardless of whether the disorder is termed dissociative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder, it is in no way related to schizophrenia. Although schizophrenia and dissociative identity disorder are commonly linked in the minds of lay people, it is a misconception.
Hamim Sultana: "Split personality", which has been a term associated with schizophrenia, is not a professionally accepted term for dissociative identity.

While dissociation is a demonstrable psychiatric condition that is tied to several different disorders, specifically those involving early childhood trauma and anxiety, the maniffestation of multiple personalities remains controversial. Despite the controversy, some mental health institutes, such as McLean Hospital[1], have wards specifically designated for dissociative identity disorder.


Hamim Sultana: i actually understand more than half the things said there...
Hamim Sultana: and look at the symptons:
Hamim Sultana: depression
anxiety (sweating, rapid pulse, palpitations)
phobias
panic attacks
physical symptoms (severe headaches or other bodily pain)
fluctuating levels of function, from highly effective to disabled
time distortions, time lapse, and amnesia
sexual dysfunction
eating disorders
post traumatic stress
suicidal preoccupations and attempts
episodes of self-mutilation
psychoactive substance use/abuse[4]

Hamim Sultana: and like...only one or two of the things didn't happen to me...
Natalie ...: omfg
Hamim Sultana: Other symptoms may include: Depersonalization, which refers to feeling unreal, removed from one's self, and detached from one's physical and mental processes. The patient feels like an observer of his life and may actually see himself as if he were watching a movie. Derealization refers to experiencing familiar persons and surroundings as if they were unfamiliar and strange or unreal.
Natalie ...: omg*** sorry forgot about the f thing
Hamim Sultana: Again, doctors must be careful not to assume that a client has MPD or DID simply because they exhibit some or all of these symptoms. For example, someone may have severe PTSD and self mutilate with suicidal ideas, which are two of the symptoms listed above, but in order for DID to be diagnosed, there must be two or more distinctly present personalities.
Natalie ...: i have like almost all those symptoms
Hamim Sultana: read that last paragraph
Hamim Sultana: we cant be too sure
Hamim Sultana: but has this ever happened to you? :
Hamim Sultana: Persons with dissociative identity disorder are often told of things they have done but do not remember and of notable changes in their behavior. They may discover objects, productions, or handwriting that they cannot account for or recognize; they may refer to themselves in the first person plural (we) or in the third person (he, she, they); and they may have amnesia for events that occurred between their mid-childhood and early adolescence. Amnesia for earlier events is normal and widespread.
Hamim Sultana: like many times people tells me things and i dont remember and i dont believe them at all
Hamim Sultana: take today for example, Nadirah was telling me, "remember I told you like last week that we still have one more seat? and you can invite ur mom to come with us?" and i was like no, u never told me that. and she kept saying yes
Natalie ...: depression, anxiety, phobias ( a lot of them too XD), panic attacks, physycal symptoms, fluctuating levels of function, post traumatic stress, and suicidal preoccupations and attempts (um.... yeah....)
Hamim Sultana: and there was no way she could make me believe that...
Hamim Sultana: does the memory loss apply to u?
Natalie ...: omg! i also have depersonalization
Hamim Sultana: dude...i was literlly gasping when i read these....and i feel unreal. happens to me all the time
Sandy Ornelas: omg what the heck is this?
Hamim Sultana: and i have this body problem when i breathe my body starts hurting or something
Hamim Sultana: i must be a psycho....
Hamim Sultana: my mom also wanted me to go to the doctor...
Hamim Sultana: i really am a psycho
Hamim Sultana: i AM a weirdo
Natalie ...: i have amnesia about my childhood
Hamim Sultana: my classmates are right...
Hamim Sultana: does it still happen?
Natalie ...: from the 4th grade and lower
Hamim Sultana: but i dont htink u have a split personailty. that's just my opinion tho
Hamim Sultana: "but in order for DID to be diagnosed, there must be two or more distinctly present personalities."

Natalie ...: well not exactly 2 personalities
Natalie ...: just 2 sides of me
Hamim Sultana: and i dont think that includes thinking theres more to u
Natalie ...: and i can't be that "other person" around everyone
Natalie ...: just certain people
Hamim Sultana: that's common actually
Natalie ...: but sometimes around complete strangers as well
Natalie ...: but not among classmates
Hamim Sultana: as far as i know, that's common. a lot of ppl cant behave one way in front of others
Hamim Sultana: but me? in front of my classmates, I'm both shy and quiets, AND loud and bossy. i'm also very hyper
Natalie ...: i don't have this though: Persons with dissociative identity disorder are often told of things they have done but do not remember and of notable changes in their behavior. They may discover objects, productions, or handwriting that they cannot account for or recognize
Hamim Sultana: told ya, i have that
Natalie ...: i have the opposite of that though
Hamim Sultana: happens to me all the time
Natalie ...: i tell someone something i did or something we did
Hamim Sultana: i may be wrong, but i dont think u really have that...
Natalie ...: and they'll be like "when did we ever do that?"
Hamim Sultana: and they dont remember?
Natalie ...: and i'd be like "this and that"
Hamim Sultana: i know that happens to me too sometimes
Natalie ...: and it turns out it didn't happen
Hamim Sultana: a most of the times i never remember it...
Natalie ...: it's like, my mind is making up memories
Natalie ...: false memories
Natalie ...: or something
Natalie ...: to replace the ones i lost
Natalie ...: it's weird
Hamim Sultana: sandy....natalie? did you guys ever feel...like your body was being controled? even for a second?
Natalie ...: and i've never talked to any one else about it
Hamim Sultana: nah, those were probably dreams
Natalie ...: omg O.O
Hamim Sultana: happens to me a lot
Natalie ...: i do all the time
Hamim Sultana: like how?
Natalie ...: i feel like i have no control over the things i do
Natalie ...: it's like someone is making me say or do these things
Natalie ...: i still have feelings and thoughts about it
Natalie ...: but i feel that one way or another, no matter what i say or do, it's like it was already assigned to be to perform by someone else
Natalie ...: who? idk but yeah
Natalie ...: it's weird
Hamim Sultana: it's probably depression or something?
Natalie ...: and then i start to think "why me? why am i me and not that girl over there? heck! why a girl at all? why not a guy? why was i born into me? i could have just as easily been that girl right there. or that boy. why do i see things in this point of view? and if i saw it in another point of view, would i still be thinking this way?"
Sandy Ornelas: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? ;]
Hamim Sultana: i hope u dont get mad or anyhting, because then again i can be wrong, but i still stand to my opinion, i do not think u have a split personality, whcih means u probably don't have DID, even if a lot of the things apply
Hamim Sultana: umm...inat? i think think what ur saying applies to this....
Hamim Sultana: nat*
Natalie ...: i know i don't have DID or a split personality
Hamim Sultana: it's probabl;y something else
Natalie ...: i have*
Hamim Sultana: like depression or something
Natalie ...: i know
Natalie ...: but i want to know what
Natalie ...: depression....
Natalie ...: a symptom
Hamim Sultana: well depression is one...maybe
Natalie ...: not a disorder
Hamim Sultana: yes, but remember "but in order for DID to be diagnosed, there must be two or more distinctly present personalities." and yadda yadda ya

Natalie ...: i don't think that's my overall disability or w.e
Hamim Sultana: yeah
Natalie ...: lol yeah i know
Natalie ...: that's y im saying
Hamim Sultana: so u DONT have DID....
Natalie ...: "i don't think i have DID
Sandy Ornelas has left the conference.

Hamim Sultana: although some things sorta apply
Hamim Sultana: lol
Natalie ...: "
Hamim Sultana: we scared away sandy
Hamim Sultana: whatever
Natalie ...: XD yeah
Natalie ...: lol
Hamim Sultana: anyways
Hamim Sultana: yeah....that whole article...explains me....
Natalie ...: only the symptoms explain me
Natalie ...: lol
Hamim Sultana: i never told anyone this...well except maybe faiza....but i was taken to a mental institution...and they wanted to keep me...
Natalie ...: i wonder if i can search disorders with those symptoms i have
Natalie ...: when?
Hamim Sultana: in 6th grade
Hamim Sultana: my mom started crying...i dont htink my dad cared <_<
Natalie ...:
Hamim Sultana: i remmeber when i went to the hospital when i comitted suicide...he came like 4 hours later
Hamim Sultana: because he was at work <_<
Natalie ...: what a retard!
Hamim Sultana: my family doesn't know...
Hamim Sultana: and i was given some shots
Hamim Sultana: and they were trying their best to keep me...
Hamim Sultana: it was scary...VERY scary
Natalie ...: when u hear ur son or daughter has tried to commit suicide, you don't just stay at work and say "yup doctor i understand, be there in 4 hours. that's when my shift is over" >_<
Hamim Sultana: and the people there were scary too
Hamim Sultana: they were walking around the hallways singing...doing whatever they felt like
Hamim Sultana: i felt so uncomfortable
Natalie ...:
Hamim Sultana: and the veichle i had to ride in was creepy, it had shackles to keep u seated tightly...
Natalie ...: u know, i've never told anyone else this
Natalie ...: but ....
Natalie ...: sometimes i wonder
Natalie ...: if i belong in a mental institution
Natalie ...: i mean not because im crazy
Natalie ...: but because im emotionally unstable
Hamim Sultana: yeah i understand
Hamim Sultana: i ALWAYS wonder that
Hamim Sultana: but i never really like telling anyone
Hamim Sultana: i really want therapy...what's the difference between a therepy and psychologist?
Hamim Sultana: is therepy a think to help u?
Hamim Sultana: i meant therepist and psychologists
Natalie ...: therapy helps u with treatments only
Hamim Sultana: faiza just told me that...
Natalie ...: psychologist give u treatments and there's visit so u can speak ur mind to them
Natalie ...: visits*
Hamim Sultana: i dont mean this in an offencive way, but maybe u should see a therepist?
Natalie ...: maybe
Hamim Sultana: i was supposed to get a psychologist once
Natalie ...: ~sigh~ but i don't trust them enough for that
Hamim Sultana: but i lived too far away or somehting, and it's too much of a hassle to take me there all the time...
Hamim Sultana: i barely trust anyone anymore...i feel all alone sometimes...like today...but idk how...but i dialed faiza's number...
Hamim Sultana: and let's stop talking here.