Im in a sad mood. I almost feel like killing myself. You know the worst part of it is that I can't even muster up enough energy to even try suicide. -sighs- Well...Let me tell you all why Im so sad and miserable.
I liked a guy at my high school. His name was Jiwon and he was my korean friend who I was always with. We had fun and he'd always pat my head and mess up my hair while smiling...I loved the feeling of his hand on my head. It was comforting and I enjoyed his company. He was a little pushy and would always make fun of me but we had fun. We tickled eachother, wrestled, laughed..everything. We were best friends. I thought we were anyway. At first I didn't like him like "love" like I just liked him as a friend. But as time progressed I guess I started to like him a lot, Love him infact. I loved him even though I knew he had a girlfriend in georgia. Even so I didn't want to give up and I thought as time progressed it would work out.
But...I guess I was wrong.
It's almost the end of school (we have one day left actually) and I saw him last friday and one of his and my friends told me that he's moving to georgia.
He never told me that. My friend Kyle said that Jiwon told almost all of his other friends.....but not me? They said that he didn't want to see me cry as I said it because he knew that I liked him.
But that's not it. He just didn't tell me. If he had told me then I would've known "Oh he's moving, I guess I can get over him." But....When i just found out the last week of school, and know Im never going to see him again...then what do I do?
If I can never have my feelings returned or I can never see him again, What do I do with these feelings...?
I liked him so much....So much it hurts just to write this. I know that I should be mad with him but when I think this way the tears start to flow. My keyboard is probably so wet with tears now....it's kinda funny...
These 2 days we've had for the last week of school he hasn't come. We have one final day. June 13th. If he doesn't come I don't know what I will do. I can't even say "Good-bye"? I wanted to see him one final day before he left. I guess it's just wishful thinking right?
But It hurts...It hurts...it hurts....It hurts so much....I can't stand the pain.
cry cry
I liked a guy at my high school. His name was Jiwon and he was my korean friend who I was always with. We had fun and he'd always pat my head and mess up my hair while smiling...I loved the feeling of his hand on my head. It was comforting and I enjoyed his company. He was a little pushy and would always make fun of me but we had fun. We tickled eachother, wrestled, laughed..everything. We were best friends. I thought we were anyway. At first I didn't like him like "love" like I just liked him as a friend. But as time progressed I guess I started to like him a lot, Love him infact. I loved him even though I knew he had a girlfriend in georgia. Even so I didn't want to give up and I thought as time progressed it would work out.
But...I guess I was wrong.
It's almost the end of school (we have one day left actually) and I saw him last friday and one of his and my friends told me that he's moving to georgia.
He never told me that. My friend Kyle said that Jiwon told almost all of his other friends.....but not me? They said that he didn't want to see me cry as I said it because he knew that I liked him.
But that's not it. He just didn't tell me. If he had told me then I would've known "Oh he's moving, I guess I can get over him." But....When i just found out the last week of school, and know Im never going to see him again...then what do I do?
If I can never have my feelings returned or I can never see him again, What do I do with these feelings...?
I liked him so much....So much it hurts just to write this. I know that I should be mad with him but when I think this way the tears start to flow. My keyboard is probably so wet with tears now....it's kinda funny...
These 2 days we've had for the last week of school he hasn't come. We have one final day. June 13th. If he doesn't come I don't know what I will do. I can't even say "Good-bye"? I wanted to see him one final day before he left. I guess it's just wishful thinking right?
But It hurts...It hurts...it hurts....It hurts so much....I can't stand the pain.
cry cry
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