so, ive been having this death complex lately. so im afraid of dying. you understand that, everyone is. Now, lets think of something else so that i wont get depressed.
Soooo, theres this guy right? and im in love with him =) i have been for about 8 months now, ya? his name is jay, hes beautiful. theres only one problem: he lives so, so, sooo far away. 90 miles. ive met him twice in my life.
Sure you may say "Thats not THAT far, you could make it work" but the problem is, how is a not-yet-17year old with no car going to go see him??... and even worse, how is he going to come see me? he has no job or no car. it really is a shame that, even though we are this technologly advanced in the world, i still cannot see the man i so depsarately love.
and theres this... thing happening. i have this feeling that someone likes me. and its really hard to push aside. it really sucks because hes involved already. but if he doesnt like me, he has to stop telling me he thinks im sweet and cute and funny and amazing and charming and all this stuff, because it really makes it hard on himself more than anyone else when he says these things. sad ... i just feel bad.
the worst part is, im nothing but a whore. i had relations with perhaps one of my best friends, and i dont even konw how hes going to take it afterwards becuase we dont talk as much as we used to... and im sorry about all the mistypes i just dont feel like redoing anything lol. but still, i miss him as a friend.
and i miss jay. alot. sad i wish i could just move down there so everything iwll go away.
Lana Luvv Community Member 
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