When music is your only escape, it makes one feel empty inside. When movies show you a life that is better than your own, it can make you want to die. when your friends betray you in attempts to better you, you try to die. I was at a party yesterday, I don't know why, I didn't know anyone there, I was just... there. I managed to phone Matt and get him to pick me up at 4 in the morning, I'm suprised he even came after I did everything in my power to make him hate me in every way without even knowing it. on the way home he found out what I had done and he wouldn't even take me home because he still loves me that much. we just drove... drove forever, talked forever. In some sad twist of fate we ended up at Jesse's house, the one place in the world I didn't want to be. we went inside and talked, laughed, smiled... Jesse taught me how to smile without him near me, Matt taught me how to love when he leaves, and yet I still feel empty inside. Nothing I have tried has filled the void within the being that carries my name. I dread coming home every day because it makes me feel alone, I hate going to school every day because it reminds me of what I can't have. When music is your only escape, it makes one feel empty inside. When movies show you a life that is better than your own, it can make you want to die. when your friends betray you in attempts to better you, you try to die.
 vardamacariel · Sun May 01, 2005 @ 03:28pm · 0 Comments |
