Man said, "Goddess, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here, and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."
And the Goddess said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever, who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be at times, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And the Goddess created a new animal to be a companion for Man. And it was a good animal. And the Goddess was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Man, and he wagged his tail a lot.
And Man said, "Goddess, I have already named all the animals on your Earth. I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And the Goddess said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a partial reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And DOG lived with Man, was a companion to him, and loved him. And DOG was beside Man, all the day long. And Man was comforted. And the Goddess was pleased. And DOG was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Man's spirit guide came to the Goddess and said, "Mother, Man has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock, and he believes he is worthy of adoration. DOG has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."
And the Goddess said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever, who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration."
And the Goddess created CAT to be a companion to Man.
And CAT would not obey Man. And CAT would love Man when CAT chose to love Man, and not when Man chose CAT to share affection.
And when Man gazed into CAT's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Man learned humility.
And the Goddess was pleased. And Man was greatly improved. And DOG was happy, and wagged his tail.
And the Goddess said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever, who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be at times, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And the Goddess created a new animal to be a companion for Man. And it was a good animal. And the Goddess was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Man, and he wagged his tail a lot.
And Man said, "Goddess, I have already named all the animals on your Earth. I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And the Goddess said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a partial reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And DOG lived with Man, was a companion to him, and loved him. And DOG was beside Man, all the day long. And Man was comforted. And the Goddess was pleased. And DOG was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Man's spirit guide came to the Goddess and said, "Mother, Man has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock, and he believes he is worthy of adoration. DOG has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."
And the Goddess said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever, who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration."
And the Goddess created CAT to be a companion to Man.
And CAT would not obey Man. And CAT would love Man when CAT chose to love Man, and not when Man chose CAT to share affection.
And when Man gazed into CAT's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Man learned humility.
And the Goddess was pleased. And Man was greatly improved. And DOG was happy, and wagged his tail.
A Pagan goes to Heaven
A Pagan died and, much to her surprise, found herself at the Pearly Gates facing St. Peter. He walked up to her and said, "Hello, and welcome."
She stared at St. Peter in complete confusion. "Wait a minute," she said. "I was supposed to end up in the Summerlands."
He smiled. "Ah, you must be one of our Pagan sisters. Follow me, please."
Peter gestured for her to follow him down a small path which went through the gates and down a bit to the left. They walked for a short while, then he stepped back and gestured her forward. Looking past his hand, she saw the verdant fields and forests of her desired Summerlands. She saw people feasting, dancing, and making merry, exactly as she expected. While shaking her head in wonder, the Pagan happened to glance over to one side and saw a small group of people a short way away from the edge of the Summerlands. The people in the group were watching the revelers, but not joining them. Instead, they were screaming and weeping piteously.
The Pagan looked at St. Peter. "Who are those people?"
St. Peter replied, "Them? They're fundamentalists. They're a bit surprised to see you all there, so they stand there and carry on like that all day."
"Why? Don't they have better things to do?"
Peter leaned conspiratorially toward her. "They don't really have a choice. They're actually in Hell. God doesn't like being told what He thinks."
