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Spiraling out of control
It feels like everythings caving in on me still. My grandma is sick agian, my family is lying to "protect" me, I'm fighting with Derrick, I'm fighting to keep everything under control and keep my emotions in check at work. I think I'm becomming ana agian....I've stopped eatting completely besides supper with my family and chewing on bubble gum. I just don't know what to do anymore. I haven't wanted to cut in so long but now it feels like my blood is burning my veins and arteries just to get out. I wish I was never alive..Maybe things would be different for everyone...Maybe it'd all be better. I'm so confused and I just want to throw in the towel. I'm tired of fighting everything.
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