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I persistently hurt myself over what I thought you felt for the last year. I finally asked you how you felt, and what you said hurt even more. How can you say I didn't love you?

I didn't write or call often enough. I may not have been what you needed. We were both foolish and naiive, too ignorant of the intensity we tried to hold onto.

But I loved you so damn much it still hurts.
How can you say I didn't want to get involved with your life? You never let me get involved. You never cared enough about yourself to tell me what was happening.
Was I really so overbearing you couldn't relax?

I still love you. But I don't like you anymore. I don't like who you've become. Bitter. You were always so critical, but there used to be joy mixed in with the pain. Or perhaps the mask you wore fooled me. But I knew someone with dreams and innocence. You killed him with apathy and sophisticated taste and vodka.
You are so cold now I don't want to try anymore.

So I will go on living, and I will find others who are warm. I see things brightly even still, even after the world has darkened you. You changed over the years, but I did not. Or maybe I am the one who changed. But you are no longer the person I trust the most anymore.
You and I are strangers who know each other's secrets.

I loved you. But now I only feel dark and empty when I talk to you. It is time to move on.



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Ooey-gooey-glad-I-got-that-off-my-chest emotions aside, some stuff everyone might actually care about (and some stuff everyone might not)-


Listening to:
The Beatles- Abbey Road
Dr. Dog - We All Belong
Ergo Proxy OST 2
Cowboy Bebop- Is it Real?

Most recently watched (in reverse order):
MushiShi episodes 1-16
Blue Submarine no6
Wings of Honneamise
Otaku no Video