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WHY GOD NEVER RECEIVED A PHD
1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
17. No record of working well with colleagues.
And some funny stuff from www.factorizer.co.uk
Jesus may have walked on water but Cody swam through land.
Cody is the stunt double for the green Power Ranger.
Cody invented the invention.
Cody once downloaded Firefox without an internet connection.
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Cody's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris wants to thank Cody for teaching him the roundhouse kick.
In the Matrix, Neo can only stop bullet's with his hands. In real life, Cody can stop anything with his little finger.
Lying is not in Cody's vocabulary. Truth forms itself around whatever Cody says.
Cody is the only known person to have successfully sharpened someone's nose in a pencil sharpener.
Cody once had a heart attack - the heart lost.
Cody can find the square root of a circle.
Cody defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you're still alive, it's because Cody loves you.
Cody once raped a kitten.
The game, Gears of War, was loosely based on events in Cody's life.
Cody had many names, some call him The Beast 666, Jack the Ripper, The Zodiac, Adolf Hitler, or, more commonly, Death.
Cody thinks STD's are just like Pokemon: Gotta catch em all.
Fact: every morning god wakes up and looks at his poster of Cody on his wall.
Cody puts the rad in radiation.
Cody doesn't mow lawns. Instead, Cody stands on the porch and dares the lawn to grow.
On their birthday, Cody randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Cody once punched a crying baby in the face when Avril Lavigne's song "girlfriend" was playing on the radio.
Cody likes to play a game in hospitals called "hold your breath". Cody likes to help them, using a pillow.
Fall Out Boy didn't fall, Cody pushed them.
Cody can watch a season of '24' in just 3 hours.
Cody has been known to tame rabid monkeys with harmonicas.
Cody can make mutes moan like a wildebeast
Cody molests people via Walkie Talkie.
Everytime Cody sneezes, Father Christmas kills an elf.
Cody is incapable of doing pushups. What happens instead is that the entire planet attempts to get away from Cody's fists.
How many Cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 700, 1 to screw it in, and the other 699 to fight off ninjas trying to kill Cody.
How does Cody get 50 Pikachus on a bus? By using a piece of wood with a nail through it.
Sex with Cody is like eating potatoe chips, once you start you just can't stop. That is, until you die from all of the magnificiant pleaseure you have recieved from Cody's tremendous love making skills.
When Cody and Eminem got caught in a rap battle, Cody won by rapping in sign language.
Cody once defeated a Mexican in a fence hopping contest.
Cody shaves kittens for a living.
Cody is good in small doses, but too much of Cody can cause: Irritation of the genitals, sonic diarrhea, explosive orgasms, child birth, addiction, PHS "Player Hatin' Syndrome", night-time cravings, and sickness or possibly death
Cody can make a nun swear.
Cody doesn't create memories, Cody destroys them.
Cody got scared half to death, three times.
In the beggining God said "Let there be light-if that's ok with Cody that is."
O.J Simpson didn't kill his wife. Cody did.
A handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Cody and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Cody does NOT know how to kiss without using the tongue.
Cody has a pet stapler.
Cody pours water on Gremlins purposely
Cody doesn't eat, Cody inhales.
Cody believes dry-humping should be a national sport.
Cody likes to take long walks on the faces on crying babies.
The 69 position was created from Cody's idea of relaxing sex.
Apparently, Cody invented the time machine, but went back in time to stop themself inventing it. This caused a huge paradox and now there are over 1000 Cody's on earth.
Cody created a new sport involving chainsaws and babies
Cody broke yet another record. Climaxing nine times in twenty-four minutes.
Cody holds the record for Worlds Most Painful Brainfreeze.
99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer... oh crap, Cody drank them all.
When challenged to a fight by Cody, Superman decided to eat kryptonite instead.
What does a Lays potato chip and a baby have in common? Cody can never eat just one.
Cody once played poker with Tarrot Cards. When Cody got a full house, 3 people died.
Cody puts the a** in classy.
Cody plays Minesweeper with real mines.
Cody can speak braille.
When you open a can of whoop-a**, Cody jumps out.
Guns don't kill people. Cody does.
Cody made a working super-computer out of pasta and a rabbit.
Cody is banned from 27 different countries.
It has been proven, That Cody can eat a bowl of Mashed Potatoes upside down.
Cody can beat Ray Charles in a staring contest.
It was once suggested by Cody that 9 out of 10 americans vote that the remaining 1 won't vote with the other 9.
Cody once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Cody once jumped out of a roflcopter while wearing lollerskates.
The word "lesbian" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "She who has not yet been introduced to Cody."
Neo is the one. Cody is the five hundred and sixty-three.
Cody's daily breakfast: bacon, eggs, and antifreeze.
Cody has the magic touch when it comes to cow tipping.
The tv show LOST is really a non-fiction account of what happens to people who refuse to pay back their bets to Cody
Cody get's a kick out of watching birds fly into windows
An army was once raised to destroy Cody, but they were defeated when Cody told a joke so funny, they laughed to death. Cody then told the same joke backwards, bringing them to life so Cody could defeat them in melee combat.
If Cody knew Cody would Cody really be Cody or just a factor of Cody's imagination?
Cody was the first to "choke the chicken".
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