Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
My Rantings Just a place for the occasional thoughts.


The Trapped One
Community Member
avatar
1 comments
My baby brother Drew Died. (RIP)
Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Two Bennett Valley firefighters arrived at a crash scene Tuesday morning to find a driver trapped in the wreckage of his burning car.

"It was a grim situation," Bennett Valley Fire Lt. Gabe Stirnus said.

Firefighter Steve Gritsch crawled inside the car and covered the driver with a heat-resistant blanket to protect him from flames, which were going inside the passenger compartment.

Gritsch also put an air mask over the man's face because of the thick smoke, Sturnis said.

The driver, Andrew Kristopher Mittry of Redding, later was in intensive care at Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital with serious injuries, including two broken femurs.

But it wasn't easy getting him there.

At about 10:15 a.m., Mittry, 20, was traveling on Grange Road, near Bennett Valley Road, when his Honda Civic left the road and hit an oak tree. CHP attributed the accident to excess speed.

Sturnis and Gritsch, at their station about a mile away, were first to arrive.

They were in a rescue rig, which doesn't carry water, so they used fire extinguishers in an attempt to put out the engine fire.

As Gritsch went in to help the driver, Sturnis tried unsuccessfully to pull the man through the window.

Then, using extrication equipment from his truck, he began working to remove the driver's door.

When Santa Rosa firefighters Anthony Westergaard, Steve Cagle and medic Tim Aboudara arrived, they put out the fire and helped Sturnis remove the door, free Mittry and begin medical treatment.

"It was a good team effort to save that guy," Sturnis said.

Mittry was flown by helicopter to the hospital.
----------------

5 days later, my little brother died.


I'll always miss you Andrew. I still remember you as a kid, it's always been so amazing seeing you as an adult. I remember teaching you how to swim, and dive. I remember when you were itty bitty teaching you all about the fundamentals of females and makeup. I still remember you trying the make up on as a kid. You were always so curious, you always had a way of making me smile even when I was down. Then you grew up.. way too quickly when you moved away to live with your dad Andreas. I wish I could have known you longer and better. The last time I actually got to see you was at Easter at Tracys house.

I pray to god you are in a better place. Never once did I think that I would outlive you. Younger than me by 9 almost 10 years. Like a shooting star you were so bright, you warmed the hearts of all who knew you. I'll miss you. I love you!

User Image



My birthday today, and all I can do is cry.
Current mood: crushed

It was my birthday yesterday....I'm 29 now... I wish I could be happy. All I keep seeing in my mind is this image of Andrew in my mind dying over and over again. Mom described the event perhaps in better detail than she should have. I didn't even get to see him... The last time I saw him was at Easter... Like waves crashing over me, I feel so numb one second and tearful the next. I put on an act around others, not wanting them to see me naked emotionally. Feel weird when I break down. I know he's in a better place, but if it's so better, why does it hurt so much?

I'm angry, I'm hurt, I'm incredibly lonely. I have no one to hug but my daughter at the moment because everyones so busy with everything else. I understand it.. I don't blame it. But in my moments of emotional breaking I need nothing more than a hug.

I worry about everyone, how they are handling everything. Every time I hear my mom on the phone I hear her voice break, and then my own voice breaks. I worry about Mandy, I worry about Andreas and Kristina, and their other two kids. I even worry about sonia... Sonia like me is probably feeling really alone. So I worry about her, I wish I could hug her.

Mom told me they didn't know if it'd be an open casket on saterday, I really hope it is. I didn't get to see him like most everyone else did to say goodbye. It feels so unreal, and yet hurts so bad. I'm guessing it's just my want for closure. I don't know... Nothing really makes since to me. Those numb moments make me feel like something wrong with me, like I should be crying 24/7 and then the crying moments make me feel out of control.

I wish I could have had the chance to hug him once more. I was so worried that mom wouldn't have pictures to give me... Of Andrew currently. I have some of him when he was younger and that's it. In my eyes it was only in the last 2 years that I saw Andrew as a grown up. It was so surprising seeing him every time in the last 2 years.. He'd changed so much physically that he hardly seemed like the Andrew I knew as a kid. The boy who'd come into my room early in the morning wake me up an hour early and play a game of solitaire with me. I loved him so much!!! I hope he knew that.

-=--=--=--=--=--=--=-


I can't sleep. So instead I tried searching my house for memorabilia of Traces of my past and andrew. I have so few things left from my past from all the stupid choices I made in my life before I had my daughter. I found nothing of what I was looking for... Instead I found a letter I had wrote in the year 2002 in September... It's sad, but as I found myself reading what I wrote I recall saying some of the words more or less yesterday when I found out about Andrew.

It was a complaint really, about this time of year. I asked my mother, just like I did myself 5 years ago, "Why does everything (bad) always seem to happen around my birthday." She said it happens to everyone. But as I read this letter and looked back at the 5 years after. I begin to wonder.

Perhaps it's just my depression talking, I don't know. It really does add up...

The letter that I wrote to myself reads like this...

"Everything always seems to happen around my birthday. Usually right before and a few times up to a couple weeks after. It's to the point where in some ways I actually almost dread the coming of ages.

I believe the first time I really took notice was when my grandmother died in 1998. She died about a week and a half before my birthday. In 1999 I lost my job at the California conservation Corps, in 2000 I was pregnant and shortly after my birthday gave birth. 2001, a friend from my childhood, Abra died, shortly after 911 happened. Now my mother has found she has a rip in her heart which is bleeding. I don't want her to die."

It cuts off there, I guess I never thought to complete it. But it's obvious to me this was written before my grandfather died that year, shortly after my birthday and right before my daughters in 2002. If I continue on in this thought, in 2003 I was forced to move from the home I had, uproot everything and start Nikki in preschool while I attempted college again. 2004 Right ON my birthday, Tracy, my sister got married, and everyone forgot about me that year (Yes I know it's pointless to really complain, and rather childish, but I can't help how I feel. And I felt at the time horrible, like my one day of the year was stolen from me. I know it's stupid but even now it still feels like that.) Then in 2005 Nikki started Kindergarten and all hell seemed to break loose with me I wasn't able to stay in school because of the horrible teacher she had constantly screaming at Nikki, and sending her home instead of dealing with her. Granted Nikki can be a pill but anyone who knows anything about that time of my life knows exactly what I mean when I say that teacher was horrible. Last year, I think was the only year something didn't happen, and that's only because I don't remember anything, also because at times I'm left out of the loop, like I'm not part of the family (least that's how I feel.) and now this year, my mothers even sicker than normal, my brother died a day before my birthday, Sonia's pregnant, and I feel more and more depressed as the hours pass.

I think I really hate this time of year.

-=-=-=-=-


A memorial to Andrew from his friends on Myspace





User Comments: [1]
Cara_Aimi Oku
Community Member





Thu Oct 18, 2007 @ 09:08am


I don't know if this will help but I wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss and understand the pain you feel. About 2 years ago I lost my grandmother, grandfather, and Aunt all within a 2 month span and even though it's been 2 years and people think I should be over it the pain I feel is still there. I don't think it ever goes away it may lessen with time but there will always that whole in my heart where they were that will never be filled.


User Comments: [1]
 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum