I thought I had everything under control, both in my day and emotionally, boy was I wrong, I can't stop crying...
I didn't sleep good, I don't usually but since Drews death it's been worse than normal... But I decided since today marks the first month since his death I'd go and visit him, but not before I'd spend a couple hours at Nikkis school watching her in class. She did wonderfully. So I still don't get why the teacher has issues with her. Then I realized the lady who was teaching Nikkis class today while I was there isn't a regular math teacher for nikki. But rather someone who's actually good with kids, and takes the time to understand them. So nikki didn't act out.. I guess that's good, but it just points to the fact that Nikki's actual teacher has pretty much given up on Nikki.
So I didn't stay long, and since I lack a car I was stuck walking... to McDonalds Memorial.... Where I sat for about an hour and a half and talked, cried, and everything at Andrews burial site. I let him know what's going on with me, how I'm feeling, and what's going on in my life. I don't know what I expected... I'd been so calm all these other days, I thought I could handle it, but of course I can't. but I'm okay with that. I just don't like showing emotion around people makes me feel uncomfortable, but one on one like that, I didn't mind so I cried, and cried, and complained and... well I'm sure he was probably embarassed by how I handled it. But I think I needed to do that.
So when I was finally leaving I couldn't get myself together all the way home, even now it's happening. I like it, and hate it at the same time.... Anyways, in my idiodic dispair I stepped into a sink hole lost a shoe and fell hard onto the concrete next to the mud that I had sunk into. It's never happened before, since I've walked that way more than once to get to some other places. And now my legs all bruised, my chest hurts my thumbs cut up and my palm looks like hamburger meat. I really am not liking my day.
