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Chapter 3: Back at Hogwarts

Snape: You’re all in trouble.
Harry: Didn’t you just say that like 2 seconds ago, professor?
Snape: Don’t disrespect me, Potter!
Hermione: How are we in trouble, Professor?
Snape: You’re all late. For punishment, you all have to serve me 50 late night detentions with me. Since Hermione gave me a dirty look, she’ll serve all of your detentions. So, Granger, you owe me 200 late night detentions.
Hermione: Yes, sir.
Snape: So, what are you 4 still doing here? Get your asses to the feast.
Dumbledore: Welcome! You four just missed the sorting ceremony!
[H, H, R, G just entered and Dumbledore shouting at them from where he was sitting]
All: Aw, darn.
[They sit down at the Gryffindor table]
Dumbledore: Now that everyone matters is here, we can eat!
Students: Yay!
Ravenclaw student # 43: I’m not important?
Hufflepuff student # 72: No. Am I?
Lee Jordan: ******** no.
One hour later…
Dumbledore: Ok! You fat pigs stop eating and listen to me! I have some important plot significance info for all of you!
Students: Yay! Finally!
Dumbledore: This year, we’re introducing a clan of in-school ninja clan! Let me introduce Iruka and Kakashi!
[A guy with a huge scar across his face and a guy with white spiky hair appeared with a puff of smoke]
Scar guy: I’m Iruka.
White hair: I’m Kakashi.
Dumbledore: Now let me introduce the rest of the ninja clan!
[A whole clan of ninjas showed up]
Say hello to the ninjas, witches and wizards!
Witches and wizards: Hello ninjas.
Ninjas: Hello witches and wizards.
Dumbledore: Now, sometime during the year, most likely near the end of the school year, there’ll be a fight with ninjas helping out this school. A new evil threat will befall us, blah, blah, blah. Now, you all go to your dormitories and get your class schedules because classes start tomorrow at 8 AM sharp. Good night.
Gryffindor prefect: Gryffindors follow me!
[Gryffindors approach the Fat Lady]
Fat Lady: La la laaaa! Oh! Gryffindors… what’s the ******** password? And give me some cheesy poofs, goddamnit!
Harry: this…sounds familiar…
Griff prefect: Potato chip.
Fat Lady: Yeah, get in you stupid J-.
[Professor McGonagall’s there]
McG: Hello Gryffindors. You’ll be sharing your dorm with the Land of the Fire.
Gryff: Land of Fire?
McG: Yeah… it’s based off the Naruto’ lands… and the characters introduced in the series will be here.
Harry: Yay.
McG: Now! Get your schedules!
Naruto: Believe it!
Ron: That’s no longer funny.
Naruto: Yeah, I know.
Hermione: Hey, we got Potions 1st period.
Ron: We got Divination 2nd.
Hermione: We have 3rd Transfiguration.
Harry: We have 4th period History.
Ron: We have Herbology 5th.
Harry: Oh, and we have 6th period Care of Magical Creatures.
Hermione: Do you ninja have classes with us?
Sakura: We can’t use magic. But we can use chakura.
Harry: wazzat?
Sakura: Chakura is applied to your body and it’s like chi, but much lamer and crazy crap happens.
[srry, Naruto abridged reference]
McG: Ok. Go to sleep. Classes start tomorrow and we’re starting another chapter!
Hermione: But we just started this chapter!
Ron: Why are we starting another chapter?
McG: Because you touch yourself at night.