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Hmm you ever have something happen and you find yourself quite shocked?
One the one hand you have an extream distaste for something ((Or someone)) Yet on the other hand you feel it is right to go a head and go with it. I'm having a hard time figure things out. Someone makes things incredably painfull for me and seems to make me just so raw with pain and hurt its almost shattering and devastaing, even thinking about them makes typeing hard and emotionally wrecks me. Yet as painfull as that is I still feel a need to help them out. Right now I'm so stressed I have a head ache. I don't take kindly to threats and her boy friend has threatened to kill me. ((I in no way believe he has the resorces to do so being as he has no clue where I live and even if he *did* he always comes up with false status reports as to my activitys. The man isen't very geograpally wise either.)) Anyway she claims she is protecting me but I think she is just buying into his lies and threats so he can seem like the big man and have his control and then some. She seems to think she also knows of all my opinions even though she dose not. *sighs* I hate being alive, I'm really to lazy to have to give a darn. Why must things be so darn diffacult?

P.S. I am writting this from a diffrent computer then my own and this key bord likes to make that snake effect where you end up with multipule letteers then what you wanted. *shakes fist at faulty computer equipment.* Anyways that and I have never been a great speller.