ARIES
THE RAM
March 21 to April 20
THE RAM
March 21 to April 20
You are confident, enthusiastic, and courageous.
Other Aries are selfish, impulsive, and foolhardy. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that they are just jealous of you, and are quite possibly plotting something against you. That is so like them.
Likes Challenges, winning, and people willing to ignore that thing you do and think nobody knows about. (We know.)
Dislikes losing, waiting around, and being hit in the face with a shovel. It may no have happened to you yet, but trust me: You aren't going to like it.
TAURUS
THE RAM
April 21 to May 21
THE RAM
April 21 to May 21
You are reliable, patient, and determined.
Other Tauruses are stubborn, self-indulgent, and jealous. They will probably do a little jail time sooner or later.
Likes Nature, relaxation, and being left alone to do their own thing, which they sometimes do on the lawn.
Dislikes Being rushed, being pushed, Mad Cow Disease, and those rodeo guys who jump on your back and won't just won't get off until you go nuts and stomp on them a little.
GEMINI
THE TWINS
May 22 to June 21
THE TWINS
May 22 to June 21
You are lively, curious, and witty.
Other Geminis are nosy, twitchy big mouths, and like many other twins there are twice as many as we need.
Likes Gossip, variety, and reading. And since your a Gemini you probably like gossiping with yourself.
Dislikes Being alone, being in a rut, being alone in a rut.
CANCER
THE CRAB
June 22 to July 22
THE CRAB
June 22 to July 22
You are imaginative, intuitive, and productive.
Other Cancers are moody, touchy, and much too emotional. Plus let's face it, they're not too happy that their sign is called Cancer.
Likes Privacy, hobbies, and pinching people.
Dislikes being told what to do, failing, and that dumb astrology thing people won't change the name of this sign to something more cheerful. How about "Pinchy The Crab"?
LEO
THE LION
July 23 to August 22
THE LION
July 23 to August 22
You are creative enthusiastic, and generous.
You Leos are bossy, mean, and think they're all that just because they get to be lions and not those other creepy signs of the zodiac.
Likes Luxury, Drama, and attacking antelopes.
Dislikes Mean people, ordinary stuff, and conditioner that leaves your mane unmanageable.
VIRGO
THE VIRGIN
August 23 to September 23
THE VIRGIN
August 23 to September 23
You intelligent, reliable, and diligent.
Other Virgos are fussy, critical worry warts, and the ones that are guys are not that happy that their sign is a girl so they lie and say they are Leos.
You know what? Let's fix this right now. From now on, a Man Virgo is called a Mango and that is final.
Likes Books, details, and telling people that their sign is a pretty girl. (Mangos, you can start telling people that your sign is a bulldog or a piranha, or something tough like that.)
Dislikes Messes, pushy people, and dry dry frizzy hair with no bounce, vitality, or sparkling sheen. Also war.
LIBRA
THE SCALES
September 24 to October 23
THE SCALES
September 24 to October 23
You are charming, romantic, and friendly
Other Libras are gullible, indecisive, and easily influenced.
Likes Sharing, parties, and seesaws. Unless you think they shouldn't. Do you think they should like these things? I just can't decide.
Dislikes Violence, meanness, and injustice. Also, even though Libras are scaled, they don't like it when people stand on them and ask how much they weigh.
SCORPIO
THE SCORPION
October 24 to November 22
THE SCORPION
October 24 to November 22
You are determined, intuitive, and passionate.
Other Scorpios are secretive, resentful, and stubborn. And believe me, they were not happy to hear that you were described so nicely. I'm sure they're scheming against you. Peek out the window. They're hiding out there somewhere, right now.
Likes Challenges, meaningful work, and being allowed to exercise their skills. And let's be honest, look at those claws. Scorpios really like pinching people.
Dislikes Being taken advantage of, insincerity, and getting slapped after the pinching. C'mon, nobody gets mad when a Libra weighs something. If you don't want to get pinched, don't come around looking all pinchable and everything.
SAGITTARIUS
THE ARCHER
November 23 to December 21
THE ARCHER
November 23 to December 21
You are honest, optimistic and savvy.
Other Sagittarius are careless, blunt, and irresponsible. Also, those other Sagittarians are not terribly welcome at parties - shooting arrows everywhere and clomping around, always asking for hay sandwhiches and apologizing the next day for pooping on the lawn.
Likes Traveling, freedom, and having a person head and a hourse body and not the other way around.
Dislikes Standing around, fussy people, and huge slobs that always want a horsey-back ride.
CAPRICORN
THE GOAT
December 22 to January 20
THE GOAT
December 22 to January 20
You are ambitious, careful, and successful.
Other Capricorns are gloomy cheap-skates that carry grudges, which is odd because goats are so love able, right? Who doesn't like that tangy smell and those crazy goat eyes?
Likes People that know what they are talking about, reliability, and people who like kidding around. (That's right "kidding" it's a goat joke. I promise its that last one.)
Dislikes Ridicule, wasting time, and people who try to make you feel baaaaaad about yourself.
AQUARIUS
THE WATER CARRIER
January 21 to February 19
THE WATER CARRIER
January 21 to February 19
You friendly, honest, and smart.
Other Aquarius are unpredictable, contrary, and love to argue. But you probably don't agree with that and want to argue about it, right? Are too. Are too. Are too infinity times.
Likes Making friends, parties, and reminding people that "water carrier" is not the same was "waitress."
Dislikes being alone, lies, and doing the same old things all the time. This is one of things that make Aquarius so unique, right? Because everyone loves being lonely, bored, and lied to.
PISCES
THE FISH
February 20 to March 20
THE FISH
February 20 to March 20
You are imaginative, generous, and nice.
Other Pisces are spacey and easily talked into things. It's like how fish will bite rubber worms with huge pointy hooks poking out the sides. The other Pisces are like that. No wonder they want to be vague about it. I wouldn't tell anybody if I bit fake worms, either.
Likes Spending time alone, dreaming, and tartar sauce.
Dislikes Being criticized, know-it-alls, and those people who talk during movies right when you're trying to hear the best part. (You know who I mean, right? All those other signs of the zodiac.)
Community Member
they are the most awesomest, nicest, bestest people u could like ever meet .!
so BLAH .! to whoever made this. =]