Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

so much. i'm drinking and it just remin ds me of how we used to party all night long and when i was s**t faced, i'd stay the night over at her house so I wouldn't get in trouble. i really regret ever had said that to her. Hurting her over him. It depresses me. I see her face every night before i go to sleep and i hate sleeping cause when i wake up, i think it's all a dream. I wish I could have saved her. she was my first accual true love and i guess i'm just still in denial. -sighs- it's been a few months now, but i still remeber that night like it was ******** yesterday.i can't get the sound of her crying adn telling me she loved me and the sound of that gun going off and the phone falling to the floor. i always saw her as a strong person, but i guess not strong enough to take the gay bashing and me being mad at her. i seriously cry myself to sleep because i couldn't save her. i'm so ******** stupid for letting vince, of all people, come between us. i never got to say sorry and i never will. I guess i'm still angry with myself for not going up there when i had the chance. -sighs- maybe that's why i'm so ******** up and started smoking pot. i quit now, but i guess that's why i did it. i miss her holding me when i'd cry and i miss her smile. i miss her. -sighs- maybe some day i'll see her again. who knows?

RIP Charlie Scene.
(1991-2007)