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im crying for help. for the first time. I DESPERATLY AM. omg >_<
i feel so bad. and it hurts all over. my chest has this painful throb everytime i think and i cant stand it. my tears won't stop flowing and my shirt is soaked. im not gonna tell you why. no no no no. the people who know are the people who i love enough to share with. some people dont know just because. most of the people i talk to think im always fine. always amazing. always happy. Im NEVER happy. and when i do actually manage to feel a slight twinge of it. its with one person and only one person. the one person i need for my survivial. the person who wants to blow their head off rather then talk about it with me. and i do care and it does hurt and i hope he knows ill spend all night waiting for him to come back.for him to show me hes ok. and now my mind is all mixed. right in the middle of opening up. i get lost. smart one >_> anyways. im not looking for pitty. maybe like ..some help of some kind but not the whole OMG IM SORRY s**t cause really. i dont care nor do i believe you.