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Queen Jocelyn's Journal
My Journal May contain Poetry or bits and pieces from stories I am writing.
Ice Princess 4
The next morning, as painful as it was, I did what my grandmother asked of me. I dressed as a street urchin and departed with my most prized possessions. As I walked down the stair way, I look up at my old room and that of my grandmothers. Iwanted to rush back up and kiss her goodbye but she had clearly told me not to. I may be stuborn, but I have always obeyed my grandmother.

As I departed, I grabbed an apple from the kitchen. It wasn't much but it would tied me over for a while till I could find home.

...........

It wasn't long before my stomach ached and it was time to eat again, but foolishly I had avoided taking anything from the kitchen so that my grandmother wouldn't have to worry about food for a while after I was gone.

A small caravan of people passed by me on the side of the road. An old woman resembling my grandmother reached out and handed me a loaf of bread. "You look poor child. Eat and if you need some where to stay in town, ask for Landra in the town squares.

I nodded but didnot know if she really knew who I was or she was just being generous.

The old woman wasn't the only generous face. As they passed, a young man maybe six years my senior and dressed of high status called out to me. "Girl, my sister is in the last wagon at the end of this caravan, do you mind staying with her till we get to the town of Gladswidth."

I couldn't believe that such a handsome face would stop and pay attention to a lowly one. There were many men of good status aboard the caravan, and none except this one cared to show me their eyes let alone their consideration.

"I will make the trip worth your while."

"Keep your money kind sir." I bowed. "I am going that way anyway, and I don't mind traveling along side your sister. But may I ask why she has need of a lady like me."

He smiled. He could see my reasoning. This man was smart and no ones fool. "She lost her most dearest maidservant to childbirth. Since then, she has been very low, and her recent betrothal to the prince of Gladsworth is of no help."

"But the prince is so young..."

"So is my sister...she is but a month or so beneath his age...that is the way things are done amongst nobles and royalty."

Nodding. I confessed. "I wouldn't know." And I told the truth. I wouldn't know because my family hadn't been so loving with me as to put me through such pains. In this case, I am lucky. So many end up with a husband who is unloving.

The prince smiled. "Neither would I. My father has reserved me the right to choose. He says that I should pick strength and stability for my kingdom, and that I can't do this based on a good family backing and a seeming beneficial arrangement between to kings. My father is so understanding with me but he must do what he can for my sister so that her honor is not damaged."

"I see." I focused on his beautiful smile and kind eyes. He could be nothing less than a prince based on his look alone. I am sure he is a prince, but from what region I am not sure.

"If I may make an obeservation, lady, you are not like the peasants from my fathers kingdom. Even though my father is kind, most servant keep their eyes down cast and rarely look up to one like me." He smiled devilishly, searching for a faulter in my dimeanor. After a short moment, he concluded, "Your ways are similar to my sister's maidservant. I am sure she will like you."

The prince was right. I should have had downcast eyes when speaking with him. Maybe even showed more humbleness. What kind of servant turns downs a kindness given to her, certainly not a beggar.

I nodded. I turned in the direction of the wagon. I started on my way toward the last wagon. I heard a voice raised slightly say, "Thankyou, lady."

Again the prince proved that he was different from other nobles. How many would turn to say thankyou to a peasant? He seemed to be conscerned over me too. Maybe we both were just a little curious as to why the other was playing outside of the roles we had been cast in. One thing is for sure, I am greatful to have met a kind man such as he, but will his sister be as kind. I already know from the princes on lips that she must have a maid servant about her constantly. Why does a girl her age need constant regulating? Is she really that helpless. But maybe I am prejudging her. My grandmother would tell me to wait and see what she is really like. I must admit I am curious, the girl will be marrying my brother. I can't help but wonder what she is truly like.

As I approached the last wagon, the foot man raise his eyebrow. He spoke with a haulty tone, "Are you the one, His Majesty, has sent?"

"Yes."

He looked down at me and studied me for a second. I could tell he was prejudging me just like I was prejudging the princess. Maybe I deserve his piercing eyes. The footman took a deep breath, he looked over at the driver. "Stop."

The footman stepped down, opened the door, and helped me in. "Thankyou, kind sir." I glanced over at the young lady who's eyes were focused downward. She seemed to wait for the footman to get back up front and the wagon to start moving before glancing up to see my face. I humbly asked, "Do you mind telling me your name? Your brother didn't tell me your name or his own, so I am afraid I am at a loss."

"I am Princess Amaya of the Kingdom Adalira. My brother is Prince Raakin and the eldest of my father King Aadeel. My brother will rule next. I have two younger brothers Kanaye and Aleser."

"Your father is a blessed man. I have seen only two of you but it seems as if he has good children to fill in when he is gone. Many kings would gladly cut off their right arm for one child who displays the qualities I have seen from you both." I glanced down, but when I lifted my head I now held the gaze of a beatiful girl far younger than I. She had eyes the color of a dark blue that could only be found in the night sky, and tears were forming at the base of them.

"My father is blessed indeed. He could afford to let me find love on my on."

"I don't know much about such matters, but usually fathers act in this way to try to find their daughter some measure of happiness. I know it doesn't always workout well but in some cases many have found a type of friendship or love in such marriages." I could tell my words hadn't reached her and weren't resolving her worries.

"Then fathers don't know much. Why must a daughter be forced to live as a servant in another mans home? If I must be a servant, at least let me stay where I am...where I am happy." She sighed and one tear rolled down her cheek.

"Your right, they don't." I could see my words caught her ear and eye. I was speaking of a king and many would not say what I have said or what I am about to voice. "Fathers don't know what is always best for their children because there is not a written guide. So many fathers find themselves facing problems as the come along, and then when they can't reach an answer they lean on how surrounding kings and kings before them solved their problems. In your case, your father probably could not find a way to insure your happiness for when he is deceased, so he has found the best match he can for you. Even if you don't love the prince in Gladsworth, you may learn to get along with him and have children you will love." I looked off, knowing my words had either angered the lady or changed her perspective.

"You said you didn't know anything about arranged marriages, but your words have wisdom pulsing through them. I am sorry for seeming like a complainer. May I ask your name?"

I didn't know how well the girl knew my family, so I gave her the name my grandmother used for me. "Katrina."

"How did you get so wise?"

"My grandmother. She is a very wise women. She told me many stories. A few actually originated in Gladsworth."

"Oh...what stories are you speaking of?"

"The story of the Ice Princess. Do you know it?" I listened shrewdly for a hint from her.

"Yes, I do. It's the story of how a beautiful kingdom was nearly destroyed by a girl who was mean and heartless. It is said that she destroyed their fields and iced over the castle. The people nearly froze before a solution to get rid of her was made."

Inhaling, I could feel my face turning numb. I struggled to pull my self from the bitter coldness that would make me freeze everything after what I had just heard. I must remember, she lives far away and the story has probably been alter fifteen times before her knowledge of it. "That is not how I quite heard the story told."

"Really...is there a different version? Tell me."

"We will be in Gladsworth soon. You can ask some one there."

"No...please tell me. I may never know if you do not tell me."

"The princess wasn't as cruel as she is painted to be nor as wicked as many think. She was 12 when she inherited the ability to control and move ice, but there is just one thing. She couldn't control this ability. As a result, her country suffered, and her family suffered. With so much suffering floating around , the poor princess became the target of the cities hatred which entencified the coldness in her heart and made things worse. But a change was in the air, the queenmother, who had remained hidden for years made herself known to the princess. The king seeing what he thought to be the best decision for his daughter and family, sent his daughter and mother away to a castle far away. Last I heard the daughter had mastered her abilities."

"That is certainly a different story. From that perspective, I kind of feel bad for the poor girl."

"You shouldn't. If it hadn't happened, many would have died. Plus if the land isn't frozen then evidently the Ice Princess is happy."

Amaya smiled. She looked out the window. She could see the castle. "Yes, well it looks as though we both are near our destination."

"Yes."

"You never did say where you were stopping. Are you going home or something?"

"Kind of...there is a position I wish to have in the castle. If I am what they want, they may see fit to let me stay on somewhere in town or even in the castle." I sighed as if worried. "I hope I get that position."

"I wish you the best then."

"And I wish the best for you."

The wagon came to a halt. I saw the prince beside the window of the wagon. "We are at the gate of the castle. Do you need to get out lady?"

"Raakin, she has a position she wishes to get inside of the castle. Our destination is the same. Continue." Amaya smiled and Raakin's face brightened.

"Anything you say sister." He rode up to the front. As they crossed the gate, everyone started to get an ominous feeling.

The prince led the wagon in through the courtyard to the front steps of the castle. I could hear the footman scurrying to the door. The prince waited as his sister exited first and grasped his arm. I took the footmans hand and allowed him to help me out of the wagon. I then turned to the prince and princess and bowed. "I hope all goes well for you both. It was a pleasure to ride with you."

The prince nodded in acknowledgement. "We wish the same for you, and it is us who enjoyed the pleasure of your company." The prince turned and waited for the footmen's return.

The princess whispered, " I hope you get this position. I wish to speak with you again sometime."

I waved and then turned to go find the servants entrance.
______________________________________________________________

When I reached the inside, I found that I remembered all the old hiding spots that I once had. I could see every route and path. I slang my bag over my shoulder. As I journeyed up the stairs, I could hear the servants rushing to finish their work. I made my way through the kitchen to the servants stairwell. I went up the stairs to my the servants quaters. As I looked around for a familiar face, I suddenly saw a young man walking my way. He was dressed like royalty,and I could tell from his stature that he was my brother. He looked just like my father, and he was approaching me.

"Servant girl."

I bowed my head. I felt secure with my blondish-white hair covered. "Yes, Your Majesty."

"What are you doing here? You should be helping the others below, and what is in your bag? Are you going somewhere?" He studied me for second. "You know I can't recall ever seeing you here. What position do you hold girl? Do you work in the kitchen? Your to lowly dressed to be one of my mothers personal girls."

He spoke fast and I could barely enter a word in. When he finally took a breath, I spoke. "I am hear to look for a position, sire, but I must see your father first."

"My father..." The boy looked at me strangely. "You will have to wait some time then. My father is too busy arranging another positon."

"I donot follow, my lord."

"My new wife. My father wishes me to marry a women I don't remember ever seeing. He thinks I will fumble the decision up, and find someone unworthy of me." My brother smiled.

"My lord, please, give the girl a chance if this is your first meeting. If not, then ignore my outspoken nature, and continue your course."

The young prince looked surprised to see such words coming from me. It was a look that I was starting to grow accustomed to. "It is okay. I hear the same thing from my mother. It is wise counsel, but it is not our first meeting. I simply just do not remember." He smiled. "I will tell my father that you wish to see him. Come with me to his library."

I followed even though I knew how to find the library. As we reached our destination, he opened the door and let me in. "Wait here. The king will probably show them around, make them feel at home and then show them their rooms. He has always loved to entertain guest. "

I am left here to wait. The room is beautifully made, and I remember running in here on rainy days. But now it seems like a prison, meant to hold me. I could tell that my brother was confused by my words and the way I was dressed. He figured that I was either someone very important or a fool. Maybe the later was more true to his beliefs.

Looked at the pictures on the wall. I read the name of my father , Raidon of Glastrow, and the name of my brother was beneath his pose, Akil of Glastrow. My dear mother's portrait was in the center holding an infant. Beneath my mother's portrait I read aloud, "Queen Adamaris of Glastrow holding her daughter Hadiscara." I was so amazed by this picture that I didn't hear the door open or anyone walk in.

"Yes, it is the queen and my daughter, and it is the only picture I have of her. I treasure it for that reason." I could hear him drawing close to my side. "Tell me...was I called here by my son to here you read. Though I find that an amazing quality, I do have more to attend to."

"Your Majesty, I am sorry to take up your time. I came to apply for a position here in your castle."

"We have people who handle that sort of thing. I must speak with my son about his judgement." The king looked frustrated.

"The position is unique, sire. Please hear me out."

"Okay, explain yourself quickly."

Pulling off my hood. I stood up straight and peered into his eyes with my cold blue eyes. "I want to know if you can find it in your heart to give a child a second chance."

The old king gazed at me. He seemed unsure. "Who are you?"

"My king, I have gone by the name Katrina for fourteen years but for the first twelve years of my life I was Hadiscara."

"Daughter!" An exclamation of joy poured out and he embraced me firmly.

"Father..." Tears streamed. I whispered, "I want my position back as your daughter."

He laughed heartily and said, "It was always yours." He stepped back and looked me over. "Have you learned to control your ability?"

"Yes daddy, but grandmother is my catalyst. I will need a new catalyst soon before grandmother passes. Meaning I need to find true love."

" True love... I will help if I can. I am just happy to have you back here. Tell me how I can help you find true love and I will help you." He placed his arm around my shoulder.

"Father...I brought my best things with me. Allow me to change out of these clothes and wear something befitting for dinner."

My father cupped both hands over my cheeks and I couldn't help but place my hands over his. "You can not show yourself to anyone though... not until dinner. I want the pleasure of introducing you at the table." He paused, then continued. "Welcome home." He kissed my fore head and then let me go. This wasn't the embrace of a man that had just abandoned me in a castle for years. It seems the years of astrangement had weakened the fear in him. He had chosen to get rid of a daughter and mother for the sake of his country and the other members of his family. Now this man wants to be my father. I watch him as he reluctantly leaves the room to draw things to their close for the night. Just before closing the door he looks back. "Your old room is still the same as you left it. Go there to change. You shouldn't run into anyone because everyone including your mother is with your brother downstairs."

I bowed and waited til he left the room. Drawing up my hood back over my eyes I started my journey upstairs. I avoid looking up, choosing to follow my heart instead. I am surprised to find myself on the top floor and at the door that I once frequented. I feel a chill in the air, or maybe its just me. As I open the door, I see that nothing has changed. My bed is still adorned with the toys I left the day I was wisked away. My closet still held my little girl dresses. The bureau in the corner is still the same with the exception to the dust that has accumulated. I am so glad to see nothing has changed. The closet is much more vast than mine in the old castle, and I see so many of my old dresses that I left behind, but wait...there is a dress I have never seen...and another. There are at least twenty eligant gowns here--each for a different stage I would have developed to in life. They were waiting for me; they did miss me; and they kept up hope that I would return soon. And look a golden dress with silver threads and milki white lace, they believed I would still return.
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I looked over at my sister as I folded her arm over mine. She seemed so different now. That girl...that girl that helped Amaya, she is so different. And she shows no fear toward royals...she must have been a servant in another kingdom and now trying to find a new status. What could she have told my sister to make things change so.

Walking up the steps, I saw the footman come back with a trail of servants behind him. All of them flooded around our carriage and started unpacking the baggage on board. I looked over at my sister who was waving at kind young woman who had accompanied her. "Sister, I am glad to see your complexion has brightened. You are different since our meeting the girl."

"You mean Katrina."

"Of course. Tell me more about Katrina...did she say something so different from what we have all been telling you?" My sister seemed to grin a little when I spoke.

"She is very peculiar. I have never met a girl that would say a king was wrong and then defend his decisions as she did. She didn't seem to care about punishment or over speaking her station, she just spoke plain and with wisdom. She seemed to be just as nervous as I about the position she seeks."

"You do not have anything to fear sister. I know this prince. He has a good head on his shoulders, and he is not at all disagreeable in the face. I think you will find happiness with him."

"Brother...shh...the king." She spoke in such a hushed tone. I could barely believe the change that had taken place in her.

"Prince Raaykin, it has been months since we last saw each other. Tell me, how goes things with your father!" He is a great king, always happy. Yet I remember seeing him after his daughter was sent away. I only saw his fabled Hadiscara once, but it was enough to know that she doesn't deserve the fables and tales that have derived since then. The poor king doesn't seem to care about the tales that have been spun about his family.

"He is well. And how are things here?"

"Raakin, things are the same. I am glad that you and your beautiful sister have come at this time of year, though. We have a royal hunting trip planned." Prince Akil arrived behind the king and he quickly shifted attention to the two. "Princess Amaya allow me to introduce you to my son Prince Akil."

I glanced over at my sister as she curtsied. "I am so happy to meet you again Prince Akil. It is a true pleasure for me to finally be here."

"I am also glad to meet you." He stepped down and raised his arm up. "May I show you both around the castle, and to the quarters we have prepared for you."

Amaya answered before I could. "That would be lovely. I must admit it has been a while but I rememeber the loveliness of the gardens."

Akil laughed. "Yes, in the atrium. I remember the last time you visited." There is more to that story I feel, but I can't question my sister about it now infront of everyone. "Father, I am sorry. I nearly forgot. There is a young lady upstairs, that is interested in speaking with you. She didn't quite tell me what it all was about, but father you should ignore her station of clothing, she seems more intellectual than what she appears."

Amaya smiled over at me. She then turned to the king. "Your Majesty, on our journey here my brother came across a girl named Katrina. She was kind of shabbily dressed, but she was extremely wise. She brought me great comfort on this journey." She looked up at the king and could tell she had his full attention. I knew what the matter was about and so I nodded to assure the king that it was all true. She continued. "I only bring this up because she said she was seeking a position here in your castle, and it sounds like your son has run across the same girl that was so nice to me. She may be worth hearing out, Your Majesty." Normally, a king may think this as an attempt at a girl voicing her opinion on how things should be ran in his kingdom, but with my sisters lowly-voice and humble nature the king just nodded.

"Seems wisdom is all around us today." He smiled. "Very well, I will go see the young woman." The king turned on his heels.

I am interested to see the girl who traveled along with us. She never revealed much about herself. She was beautiful, and even though she was a peasant woman, she dressed fully descent. She kept her head covered the whole time. I couldn't even see one morsel of hair to even suggest what hair she had. For all I know, the girl could be bald. In any case, her eyes were a magnificent, cool ice blue. I must tell you I have never seen eyes like hers and I don't think I will ever see eyes like hers again. Trailing behind my sister, I can tell they are already in a deep conversation about something.

"Remember that note you wrote me about a year ago." My sister spoke in a very hushed tone. I know my sister, if she is being discreet then the letter must have said something scandalous.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I was in doubt up until I saw you today...in doubt about the two of us being married." Prince Akil glanced back. He was searching to see if I was listening. I tried falling back just a little to throw him off and it seemed to work.

"So was I...I couldn't imagine being married to someone I only knew once as a little girl. But now that I see you...I have a feeling everything will be all right." My sister leaned upon the prince and it was clear that the prince didn't mind. Her hand seemed to intertwine with his naturally, and for some strange reason, I can't help wondering if I will ever have the same feelings for any one. Maybe my sister is lucky, a suitable match has been found for her, and she seems to be creating something perfect---something real.

As I journeyed behind the two, I waited until the prince told us about the royal dining room on the third floor. Then I chose to depart from the two when a lady came to be the princess's companion. I went to my room and read a book that had recently been transcribed by a priest in my father's kingdom. The books name is 'Philosophy of Socrato.' Soon I will have to dress for the large feast the king has prepared.
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As I dressed in my silver dress that reminded me of the moonlight, excitement encompassed my heart. I pulled the braids from my hair, and dressed my silver locks up into a perfect bon with a silver strand hanging on either side. I placed my silver rose hair ornament to hold my bon in place. Then their was the final touch. The silver diamond pendant with the matching silver earings that my grandmother had given me. Because of my complexion being so pale, I had no need of the make up that many women wore. I colored my lips red with paint and waited for the royal trumpeteer to begin. I waited for the trumpeteer to announce for everyone to be seated. Then I walked to the stairs and waited for a servant to come my way. I intercepted him from his route and sent him with a message to the king. "Tell the king that his loyal friend is waiting in the room across the hall."

"Yes, maam."I watched him scurry off into the dining room. Moments later, the king rushed in but he froze in his spot when he caught sight of me with my hair up, the silver dress on, and the silver cloak that drapped down my back. Then he saw the necklace.

"I see my mother has done an adequate job in turning you into a young woman." He sighed and placed one of my arms over his. "Come take your place beside your mother at the table. It hasn't been occupied since your leaving." Hugging my father, I wrapped my arm around his and then followed as he asked. He seems so happy with me by his side, I wonder if my being here has added to his happiness.

As we walked into the room, everyone stopped eating as it is customary to do when the king or any other royal enters the room. My father smiled down at me, and I felt for the first time as if I belonged there. I could feel everyone's eyes on me and I could hear all them whispering. As I reached the end of the table where my family was sitting, I noticed my brother curiously staring at me. He was sitting next to his intended, Princess Amaya, who was also staring. Next to Amaya, sat her brother. My father took his place between my brother and my mother, who was now standing. From the expression on her face I could tell that she had never forgotten me. My mother couldn't wait one second to hear my father's announcement. She embraced me as if I had come back from from the dead.

My father, King Raidon, stood at his sitting spot. He raised his arms up for silence. "I welcome you all to my home this night to celebrate the union we are making with the Kingdom of Adalira. My son Prince Akil will soon be joined to Princess Amaya and I know I wish them the best and am sure you do to."

Everyone gave a small applause.

"The nights happiness does not end with the news of my sons union...I am also overjoyed to welcome back home my daughter, Princess Hadiscara. She has been away from us for far to long." My father turned to me and spoke. "It is my firmest hope that you find all the joy in the world here back at home with your family."

I nodded then I faced my mother who still was holding my hand. I whispered. "I saw the dresses. I know how much you hoped for me to return."

Tears were forming in her eyes. She nodded. "Every day since you left." She placed her head firmly against mine. "You are just as beautiful as I imagined you would be. "

The king walked over and pulled my chair out. He waited for me to sit and then he nudged the chair in a little. He then returned back to his spot and spoke. "Everyone please continue eating." The king sat down beside his wife. Both king and queen seemed to be on a cloud--they finally had both of their children beside them.

Queen Adamaris placed her hand on her daughters hand. "You don't know how glad I am to see you in front of me. I want to know every thing about you."

"An I want to tell you everything. Can we go out walking tommorow? You know the way we used to do along the gardens outside the gates." I could feel the excitement in my voice and noticed it matches the excitement in her eyes.

Tears formed in her eyes. "Yes, we can go out tommorow. I can't believe you remember."

"I will always remember...those were happy times."

The queen nodded. "Yes, they were happy times."

I sipped a little of the wine at the table and ate a piece or two of the food on my plate before I felt full. Most of the evening circled around my fathers and my mothers happiness. They now had one child back home and another childs marriage arranged. I am happy for them too. I am also over joyed to be home.

As the evening crowd progressively became thinner, I noticed my father standing and the remaining guest settled down. "My queen and I, have enjoyed your company tonight. Thankyou again for coming to celebrate the joyous occasion of my sons betrothal and my daughters coming home." He glanced down at my mother. "We would love to stay up with you but these are the hours meant for the young, and the queen and I aren't as young as we used to be." My mother cocked one eyebrow up at him and smiled. My father quickly responded. "Now we shall go before I get myself in any further trouble."

My mother stood as my father pulled her chair back. She bent toward me and kissed my forehead. "Night my dear. I shall see you tomorrow." She placed her arm on my fathers and they showed Akil the same attention as they left--kissing him on the forehead and welcoming their new daughter-in-law.

I was prepared ahead of time for my position. Now I sat isolated two seats away from my brother and his soon to be wife and brother-in-law. They had already been staring at me the whole of the night, now their gazes were more set upon me. My brother stood. " Everyone...please come and sit among us." There had to be twenty remaining guest who came down to the end of the table, yet I still ended up with the two vacated seats of my mother and father on one end and one vacated seat of some noble on my other side. Still, I can't let foolish thoughts and piercing eyes make me fearful. So instead sitting solemly at the table, I wore my smile and kept silent. You can learn alot from silence.

Akil was the first to address me. "So sister, where have you kept yourself hidden all these years?" His tone was different from the thankful prince who had addressed me earlier. It now sounded cold.

"With our grandmother, Hannah."

My answer opened the door for many more questions. The next askee was Amaya. "So where did the name Katrina come from?" She narrowed her eyes. "Why would you use a name that clearly was not your own?"

I laughed. All at the table seemed amazed to see joy in my face. "My grandmother gave me the name, so she could call me in public. The name Hadiscara was one that brought fear to people so we used it only in private. Besides I wanted my father to know I was here first, and no one would know me by the name Katrina. Had I went by Hadiscara, I would have possibly never made it to the castle gates."

The next question I was willing to answer came from Raakin. " Why did you lie to us about a position here in the castle?" He seemed hurt as he spoke those words. I guess the thought of my lying to him really caused him pain.

"I didn't lie. I never lie. I was seeking a position here. The position I once held as my father's daughter. " I wiped my grin away and sternly focused into his eyes. "As you can see my name brings people to fear and I had to be sure that my father was willing to have me here. I never lied though."

All of the others around the table basically wanted to know the same question, but one brave soul voiced it. "Do you still have the ability to make ice?"

I nodded.

The man asked further. "Will you freeze everything as you once did? "

"No..." I stood. "...I can control myself now." I smiled to them all. "I know you all have you reservations about my being here. I would be a fool if I expected everyone to like me instantaneously." I sighed. "Well, ladies and gentlemen, I must say it has been a long day and I am rather tired from the journey, so if you will all excuse me. I wish you all pleasant journeys." I moved the chair aside, and then tucked it back beneath the table.

Prince Raakin stood. He looked down toward my brother. "If it is all right with you Prince Akil, I would love to guide your sister upstairs. I have just a few more questions."

Prince Akil nodded. "Yes, please do."

Prince Raakin solemnly marched over toward me and extended his arm.

I wrapped my over his and followed gracefully out of the room.

As we started up the stairs, I felt a weird chill in the air. I think I feel stranger now that I am fully exposed to him. I kept silent, though. You can read alot in the silence. As we reached the top of the stairs he asked, "What is your definition of a lie?"

I dropped my gaze to the ground. " A lie is the act of keeping the truth from being known."

"And you say you never do this."

"And I mean it. If you decide to believe something based on the appearance of another, then it is your own fault." Then I softened my words before I went further. " You didn't say you were a prince when we met, but within me I could see you were. I believe you saw me for what I really was this morning. You could tell that I wasn't a true peasant anyway."

He paused. Stepping infront of me, he nodded. "I knew you weren't a peasant from your dimeanor, but I am not angry about that."

"Then what?"

"You say you have control, but what if it is just an illusion? What if you had lost this control you say you have? You could have frozen my sister when you were sitting with her today." He placed his hand on my shoulder, just as my head dropped down. "I do not mean to offend you."

"You are not offending me. You are only speaking on what you see." I place my hand against his face. "Does my hand feel cool to you?"

He shook his head. "No."

"As long as I know love, I will always be warm, but if I allow my heart to grow cool for those I love then I will be forced to leave here again." I withdrew my hand. "I must always know love, or I will freeze on the inside and then freeze all on the outside."

Raakin removed his hand.

I walked over toward the arched windows inorder to catch the cool breeze sweeping through.

Raakin stood back I could tell he was gazing at me still even though he kept silent.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The moonlight over her skin is so beautiful. She seems to sparkle like an ice cycle catching the suns light. I have never seen a more lovelier sight. I do believe she knew she would find me in the caravan this morning, and that she knew my heart was hers from the moment she spoke. " Princess...I asked your brother if I could escort you to your room. I think we should complete our purpose."

"Yes you are right." She took my arm. "I don't know why I said all that I just said to you. Maybe I just needed someone to confide in, but please do not tell anyone. I do not wish any more attention on myself." Placing her arm atop of mine.

"How can you be so calm when others speak such mean and hurtful things?"

"I am calm because I know these feelings come from fear. They donot know the truth and so they fear me. Which is why I mean what I say when I tell you I never lie. There is no vantage point to have when it comes from a lie." She seems so censire with her words and she is so intelligent.

"I think you are rich in strength and courage. Not many women can stand in the face of nearly twenty-five to thirty people and speak as calm and sure as you did tonight." I rubbed her arm with my other. "Have you any plans for tommorrow?"

"In the morning, I am to go out with my mother and walk the fields as we used to do when I was younger. She wants to know more about me and I wish to know her too." She paused. "But as far as I know, my evening is free."

"Yes, I shall be back by then, as well. Your father planned a hunting trip. I believe he will want me to accompany him on tommorrow morning. Perhaps we will be back before dinner." She interrupted quickly.

"And what if you are not?" She sighed. "Would you ask my father to escort me to my room after dinner?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, I do believe I would, but I will let him know that it will not be a quick journey. Maybe we can walk about the castle or courtyard." I paused. "I think I want to get to know the girl I just saw down stairs a little better."

"Well she is a rare occurance. I try to hide that girl as much as possible." She smiled slightly. " If I show that side of myself to often, who knows what will happen." She turned toward me as she realized for the first time that I had stopped. "I hope you wouldn't mind getting to know the other ends of my character better."

"So wise...how did you get to be so articulate for a girl who was not raised by tutors."

I felt her hand turn ice cold and for the first time I saw a frosty glare enter her eyes, and then it subsided and her hands turned back normal. "Just because I didn't have a formal tutor as you or my brother have, doesn't mean I wasn't taught." She smiled. "My grandmother was my tutor in all I know. She is extremely intellectual. All the wisdom I gained through my years has surged from her."

I could tell my words had angered her, but somehow she had converted her anger back into something different. Stepping up to her level, I continued up the stairs and she became silent. As I saw her door, I dreaded that this was the end of our conversation.

She let go of my arm and I kissed her hand. As we parted, I could feel my heart throbbing with in. I promise to my heart that I will not stop until she is my wife, or else my heart will explode for sure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the morning as I woke and gazed around the room, I couldn't help but think of Prince Raakin. How could I be so stupid as to get angry last night while he was holding my hand? He had to have sensed his hand change in temp, yet he didn't act like he did.

I looked out the window and saw that the sun hadn't risen yet. Knowing my mother, she probably hasn't risen yet. In fact, I believe I am the only one with exception to the servants that probably is up. I suspect that this is because when I was with my grandmother, I had to do the chores of a servant. To be a servant requires the person to rise early in the morning before everyone else and start performing duties. I am glad to have learned this facite of a servants life, and I will do my part to keep from being further weight upon them.

Leaning over my bed, I snap the covers back into place and make the bed up as it once was. Then I pick up my dress that I wore previously and lay it over the mirror in my room. Picking out a light blue colored dress, I carry it with me to my bath water.

As I wash, I remonise on the night before. Was I really all that brave? I just stood up for myself. Grandmother told me that it is not wise to always loose my temper, but it is necessary to occasionally stick up for myself. I think I did the right thing although, maybe not the right thing for a princess. Maybe I should be more careful. I would never want to do such a thing in a wide audience. I will be lucky if my brother ever spoke to me again. I shouldn't have spoke the way I did infront of so many jackals. They would have torn me to shreds right to my face though, and not a soul, not even my brother was on my side. I had to say something for myself.

Placing the dryoff towel down, I placed on my light blue dress. Then I redressed my hair. Putting on a small necklace, I then placed on my walking shoes an walked down the stairs. I was ancious to see my fathers castle before, I was to walk with my mother. As I walked down the stairs carefully, to keep from arousing anyone further. I noticed that the area where Prince Raakin and I had gazed at the moon light was still silent. Tipping past the stairs into the room we had past the night before, I realized that it was a conference room and past that was another library--perhaps for nobilities use. Turning, I exited the room and started down the stairs. As I walked down the stairs, a servant passed me. I could feel her eyes buried on my figure.

I continued gazing at the splendor of the castle. Nothing has changed--everything still holds its place. As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I realize for the first time that something has changed. The picture that once sat in the library of my fathers library, now was again in it's old spot at the end of the hall next to the picture of mother holding my brother. As I sat frozen to the stair case, viewing the beautiful picture, I didn't noticed that I had a spectator.

"Beautiful...isn't it?" More surprising than the fact that some one was behind me, was the voice. Turning I can barely believe my eyes.

"Brother?" I smiled, unable to tell if he was being sarcastic or not. "It isn't the only beautiful picture on the wall."

"Yes, but I must say it is lovely though." He sighed. "For years I wondered who you were, and why this was the only picture there was of you. Then I learned the story through the angry words of people in town. My..." He focused on me. "... I mean our parents told me what had happened, and why you were no longer with us. I wanted to visit you or see you, but father explained that your condition was one of emotion and that we shouldn't."

I nodded. My smile grew as I saw that he was no longer angry at all. "I wish I had known you, also. I have loved you though, brother." I grasped his hand. Now tell me all that has happened since I was gone. I want to know everything." My enthusiam must have now been visible.

He and I ran as if we were kids. He took me to the gardens and we spoke about all the events that had passed. Then he spoke on a different matter. "I am sorry about last night. I should have been more sympathetic to you, but I was only thinking of myself."

"It's okay. I knew coming back might have some difficulties. I am prepared to handle just about anything."

"So I saw. You were marvelous last night. You spoke with conviction and bravery. I could never have done what you did."

"You can. You will be a king one day, and the conviction and bravery that you saw in me will appear in you without your even knowing it." I placed my arms around his neck and hugged him. "Mother will be looking for me soon."

"I will go fetch her." He kissed my hand and then ran. I never knew that being a sister would be this easy. He seems so much more warmer in his disposition, maybe I can hold off on finding true love, just a little while.





 
 
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