The concussion I had is really worrying me. Like it seems my friend and I had had plans she told me and it was as if I never even talked to her that entire week and also it seems Arren asked me to just spend this entire weekend with and I don't remember that either I'm worried well what the hell else did I miss? And I feel bad because my brain is basically on slow motion and it's really hard to communicate sometimes. I'm scared that this might have permanent affect hell it's taken me 2 hours to right this. I still have head aches and get sick to my stomach, feel tired almost all damn day, or get dizzy as f**k. I just wanna know one thing,.......why would they do this to me? And what really scares me is I honestly don't know if I was hit with rocks or if I did this to myself all I can go on is what people tell me. No one understands how scared I am. If I did this to myself I'm insane. If they did it then there's a damn good chance they'll come again. Maybe not at the bus stop but the store or mall. I feel weak. Maybe next time I won't wake up and I can dream I'm with him forever instead of rotting in this body waiting for the pain to come back.
And when it seems I finally feel happy again someone drags me down. Reminds me how it could happen again. Honestly Right now I just want to crawl into a dark pit and hear nothing but my own thoughts and cries. At the moment I don't care how much I love someone I just want it all to stop for a little while. everything hurts, my head, my back, my heart just...just leave me alone. I'm sorry to all I can't feel emotions like sorrow or happiness for you I just can't mentally or physically do it right now. And it feels like no one believes me anymore.
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A summer born child from a winter land.
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