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What goes around comes around. Growing up I have found this to be so true.
My Dad was a monster. By the age of 16 I was no longer calling him dad. He didn't deserve
the title. I called him by his first name Ken. Although after the age of 16 I saw him a few times
before he died. I was 30 when Ken died.
Even as a teenager, everyone said how much Ken loved me. I was his little girl. It's no wonder my little mind was so twisted.
So it was love living at the bars at the age of 5, watching my father pick up women and taking me to there house, leaving me in a strangers living room, while they went into the bedroom.
It was love bribing me with food, not to tell mom. I guess it was love watching my mom being pulled on the floor by her hair screaming and crying. And was it love waiting for him to come
home on Christmas Eve, and he never shows for days. Was it love hearing my own heart beat in my throat when he would come home at 3;00 in the morning, wandering what would happen that night?
This all took years to untangle. It was brain washing. I truly didn't realize what love was until I was in my thirties. I picked a Ken after Ken dating. All abusive to me. It didn't stop until I was able to see what I was doing.. I allowed myself to be raped over and over again. This is what I new. When Ken died, my life started to turn.
All my brothers and sisters were out of the house when I was 10.
Ken turned my mom and myself life, upside down for one last time.