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Nothing Better, Nothing Worse

Prologue

“Onee-san!” Upon my tired ears came the ever so dreadful voice of my little sister, Amelia. With a small sigh, I turned from the shade of the tree and saw her directly coming towards me ready to put me in an ever so bonding hug. With a quick action, I pushed myself in the opposite direction avoiding the ever so loving hug. Amelia flew onto the ground and hit her head against the tree. Her eyes began to tear up and she held her head. “Onee-san! That was mean!” I got up from my relaxed position and bent down to her and carefully moved her hand from her forehead.

“You know, you really have to be more careful,” I said with a heavy sigh knowing that this was partially my fault. “You can’t just jump me like that, I’m not exactly going to stand still.” I noticed that there was no bleeding but a decently black and blue bruise. Amelia looked up to me and without hesitation she attacked me with a hug and we both tumbled onto the grassy ground. In a wide open field like the one I was in. There was little effort needed to try to look or act cool so I occasionally allowed my sister to hug me. She was just so clingy because she had no real friends of her own and neither did I.

The blue sky above had a few clouds hovering over head and the small wind that blew around us kept us cool under the hot sun. Time went by and the “Say, onee-san…” My sister began to say. Her face was buried into my shirt and her voice was muffled.. “Do you really have to leave to that boarding school? You could stay here you know and go to a public school instead.” I continued to look up at the sky. I know what she meant, I didn’t want to go to this boarding school but I had no choice.

“Come on now, you know that I have to move on with my life. I can’t exactly stay here in this boring town,” I said to her. I couldn’t exactly tell her the truth. She buried her face into my shirt and I could sense that she was tearing up. Summer was almost over and soon I would be half way across the country in a prestigious boarding school. I knew that my sister would be all alone for the next few years. I tried to smile but my smile wasn’t that good.

“Why, why do you have to go?” I could tell that Amelia was more upset than me but I couldn’t do anything.

“Hey, in a few years, you might be eligible to go to this boarding school,” I said to Amelia.

“You… you really think so?” Amelia asked as she began to wipe her eyes. I smiled and then slowly rose to a sitting position. She got off and sat beside me.
“Well sure! With your creativity, the school should have no choice but to accept you.” I put my hand on her head.

Night soon fell upon us and the stars drifted slowly up. “Hey, Amelia…” I began to say as we glanced into the starry night. “Why do you call me Onee-san? I mean we are not Japanese or anything like that. Couldn’t you just call me by Big brother or my real name?” She glanced over with a grin on her face.

“But such a cute adorable sister like myself needs to set up an image for herself! If I just said big brother I don’t think it would sound as cute.”

With a bit of a sigh to my sister’s remark I shrugged my shoulders. “You are pretty weird, you know that?” I didn’t really care as soon I would be leaving this place for a long period of time, I wanted to make sure that I could savor every moment here.

The moon soon rose higher and joined the dancing stars in their waltz and the late night drew tired eyes to Amelia. I got up and glanced down at her. “We should head back or else mom will worry about us.” Amelia blinked at me for a few seconds and then nodded her head. She rose up and walked slowly away from the peaceful field. As I began to walk away a small giggle came to my ear. “Welcome…” the voice whispered and as I turned around, I saw nothing there. Amelia looked puzzled at my reaction. I didn’t know what to say, the voice was not my sisters or my own so who was watching me that night?

All I can say now I guess is farewell as night will soon become day and this town will only be able to reside in my memories.

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Chapter 1
A Desire like no Other

The bell rings and class begins to start. My desk is pressed against the window, that way I can find something to do rather than listen to the teacher for 2 hours. Taking out a pencil and a notebook while everyone else dazzles the class with their laptop or hi-tech machine to record notes. I glance out the window to the forest and my mind begins to ponder as it always does around that time.

Life has become so boring since I came here. In a small boarding school surrounded by a mass of trees is where I reside now. The forest is like a wall that wards people away and prevents people from coming in. Within the forest was a river that surrounded the boarding school. It was an undefined prison to me. Just beyond the forest, there is a small town. We are connected to that town by a tunnel that no one can really get by unless they have clearance. However, they say this is one of the most protected boarding schools to ever exist. They would want to protect their money after all.

As for me, all I can see is life go by while I just continue to remain still. At the beginning of the year, everyone seemed to have gotten into their friendship groups while I remain single. Why would I want to associate myself with such fools anyways? I am one who desires to be alone, what would friends do for me besides slow me down?

It’s only been a few weeks and I’ve become the outcast. When I speak, they say my words are like swords that pierce them. How can I speak differently? The words I speak are nothing more than the truth, I don’t have time to speak in a way that does not make sense. Why should I compliment someone else when there is no need? Why should I say thank you when it was the right thing to do in the first place and why should I ask how someone is doing when I honestly could care less? Such social rules to follow by are unneeded. Sacrifices have to be made; however, I refuse to bow down to such idiotic rules just so I can make friends.

When it comes to talent, I seem to have a knack for just about everything I do. It is a burden to excel in everything with out finding flaws. For that, I am hated more for being too good. Unfortunately, this gift also bans me from participating with any sport or club. This school is not for talented individuals, it’s just a school for those of the stuck up and jealous. They are so good at what they do that they refuse to accept anyone who is better than them at what they do.

My grades are fair and I know I could be doing better but there is no point. I purposefully get the wrong answers so I’m not perceived as being perfect at academics. I run the border of A minuses for all classes. I’m not going to get anything lower because I would just then be called a moron by my peers. As much as I don’t care, I just don’t feel like listening to my peers’ negative responses. I rather just not hear them at all.

Who cares who really the best is anyways? Is it really a competition? Shouldn’t everyone just respect others for having talent rather than constantly competing with them to prove that they are better? In reality it doesn’t matter in the long run. You’d just waste your life on this endless staircase until you die. I don’t want to compete to be better than someone, I hate competition completely.

The bell rings again signifying my release from the classroom and I hurry to gather my things. This was the last class for today so I was free to do anything I wanted. Usually, this would be the time where clubs and activity meetings would begin but since I wasn’t apart of any, I just went back to my dorm room. I put the rest of my supplies back into my bag and began to head out the door when my teacher stopped me.

Ms. Pearson, a young teacher no older than 25, came in front of me. I was the last one to leave so I was stuck and at her mercy. Ms. Pearson was a very conservative teacher as she dressed in much more formal dress attires than the rest of the faculty and seemed to be the most soft spoken as well. She had a bit of an angry look in her eyes as if I did something bad. “Zachary, may I speak with you?” She asked in a most taken back voice. I sighed and then nodded. She put her hand out to have me sit at the desk closest to her. Being the obedient dog, I went to the seat and glanced at her. “Zachary, you haven’t been paying attention to any of my lectures. I’ve noticed that all you do is glance out the window as if you were trying to get out of here as fast as you can.” Ms. Pearson put her hand on my hand and glanced into my eyes. Feeling the shock of someone touched me I glanced up at her and froze. “Zachary, is something the matter? Am I not teaching anything to you? I know that you get good grades and it seems that you understand the material… so, is there something I can do to make this experience more challenging for you?”

I retrieved my hand slowly and then I put on a fake smile. “There is nothing wrong, don’t worry about it at all.” I glanced away from her. “I just am getting…” I tried to think of an excuse for a moment. “…to get inspiration. Yes, inspiration. You see, I actually copy some notes from a classmate later to understand the material. Sorry if it seems like I’m not paying attention.” I got up quickly from my seat. I absolutely hated talking about myself and I knew that these conversations led to things like that. “Oh, I have to… go because my club meeting is starting, if you’ll excuse me Ms. Pearson.” I gave a small wave of the hand and rushed out of the classroom before she could catch up.

I managed to get out of the building where my class was and to the outside where the sun still shined brightly over the ever so endless forest beyond the fields. It was a brisk fall day and I had a small fall sweater on over my shirt. As I began walking back to my dorms, I glanced at the fence that blocked us from the forest. They say the fence is there to protect us from the animals that lied beyond but it was just another excuse to keep us detained here in this prison.

I dreamed about going out to the forest, it would be there I could find the quiet I desired. Since I had no roommate, the only other place I could go was my room but I hated to stay inside all the time. It was the only way though and it was the only option before me. Even if they opened the forest up, it would just be filled with students. In a way, my haven would be a hell if everyone was able to go so in a way, I wouldn’t win either way.

I walked over to the fence and put my hands against the fence and glanced towards the forest. The peace that it continued with like a seductress luring the lustful man closer in, however this seductress was caged all around. There was no way of obtaining such a beauty. It was not until moments later that I heard a man’s voice yelling at me.

“Hey kid!” It was one of the security men coming over. “Don’t you read signs? It says stay away from the fence!” The man was a brute and didn’t look like he got too much of an education when he was at school. While inspecting him, I found that his name was Carl, Carl Standwell. His goofy like appearance made him look like a bum and the stains on his clothes made him look like a slob. He smelt of sweat and I covered my nose and looked away. “If you touch the fence again, I’ll report you.” He walked away, upon further inspection, the sign clearly states, “Do not go beyond the fence.” It was clear that Carl Standwell was unable to read and probably was told to keep an eye on students near the fence. Under this assumption, he probably thought that the person meant that kids were not to touch the fence at all.

I didn’t want to get yelled at again so I walked back to my dorm room. I opened the door to the building and saw a boy going towards the door. He was all dressed up as if he was going to an internship or applying for a job. His hair was neatly combed and he seemed to have a stern face on constantly. As I passed him, he glanced at me and gave me an awkward stare. I stopped and so did he. “Can I help you?” I asked.

There was a momentary silence and then he replied, “You… you’re Zachary Grants aren’t you?” His voice seemed very stuck up and unfriendly. I could tell where this was going so I began to walk away. “Hey! I asked you a question! Based on your actions I can assume you are that person.” He walked in front of me giving me no option to escape. “Based on what I heard, I am told that you are good at just about everything.” He seemed to be itching for me to complement myself though I never gave him the satisfaction.

“Who are you?” I asked a bit curious. He seemed to be pestering me. If I knew his name, I would be able to avoid him.
He seemed shocked by my question. “Who am I?! I am Travis Remulous Esquire the third I’ll have you know.” He said his full name which was a bit odd but held himself proudly. “You may have heard that name before. I am after all known for my writing and my exceptional instrumental playing.” He seemed confident and fixed his glasses slightly. I shook my head and he was shocked again. “What!? How could you have not heard of me after you embarrassed me with your obvious superiority when you played the violin!? You made a fool out of me saying that you didn’t know how to play but after 2 hours you could play better than I! You made me foolishly try to teach you something that you clearly practiced before!”
I remembered the moment he spoke of but I honestly did not know how to play before I learned from him. It seemed that I picked up how to play pretty easy as usual and was being scolded because of it. It was a normal practice. “Listen, I don’ really have time to debate with you whether I have or haven’t played before so if you’ll excuse me.” I pushed him aside and then began to head upstairs. I heard his rants all the way up to the 4th floor where I resided. I had no roommate so I when I opened the door, I would find the room dark and empty. All that was in my room was a bed, a desk and a computer. There were no posters or really anything that would scream mess in my room. I fell upon my bed and glanced up at the ceiling.
At this point I would just stare up until I passed out. It was the closest thing I could do to feel almost dead. Constantly I would wish that death came sooner for me. In a sense if that happened, I wouldn’t have to deal with the trivial problems that life gave. It was only 3 o’clock in the afternoon but I would be asleep until about 12 o’clock in the morning.

Because of the dorm lights, I was unable to see the stars that hung in the sky; however, tonight seemed different. When I awoke, it was pitch black The stars were all shining outside. I glanced out my window and saw the starry night for the first time. When I glanced at my clock it read 12 o’clock AM precisely and didn’t change even after a few minutes. I was a bit curious and then I checked to see if my clock was working. I could change the time manually but it wouldn’t change even after a few minutes. I then checked my watch and it to still read 12 o’clock. What was more peculiar was that the second hand was not moving. I slipped on some clothes and walked out of my dorm.

There was a deep set of silence. It was a bit cold out so I threw a scarf on as well. Nothing seemed to be moving, it was almost like a dream but it was indeed reality. I then saw something or someone move down the stairwell. I ran to the stairwell but no one was there. I began to walk down to the first floor wanting to know what that thing was and if it was responsible for the halt of time.

To my surprise, when I reached the first floor, I saw a little girl dressed in a white dress staring at me. Her hair was a light pink and her face was a bit tanned but yet still pal-ish at the same time. She seemed to be holding something in her hand but I couldn’t make it out in the darkness. Her smile was very enchanting and despite her appearing to be around the age of 10, she was very beautiful looking. “Who are you?” I asked almost instantly as she stared at me. There was no respond and she turned around and ran out the door with a small giggle that I swore I heard before.
I chased after her and found myself closer to the fence than I ever had been. She stopped and then she touched the fence. She glanced back. “The other side is waiting, you just have to look carefully.” It was then I saw my salvation before me. The fence had a small hole, just large enough for me to fit through. It was so hard to see that it couldn’t be detected by most people. I crawled under the fence and to the other side. This was the beginning of a new adventure. The seductress was finally within my reach.

We began to walk down the path in the forest. The darkness seemed overwhelming yet welcoming. She continued to stare back at me with a smile on her face but said nothing to me. I was a bit cautious; however, she seemed harmless enough.
As we had gotten deeper into the forest, I could see a clearing just beyond. As we approached it, she turned around towards me. “Finding yourself is hard, isn’t it?” I stopped to the sudden question. “You constantly try to comfort those who care for you by telling them that everything is okay; however, it is a true fact that things are not. You find yourself hurting yourself in ways to ease your mental pain. Tell me, how many times have you cut yourself?” I froze, I couldn’t remember the numbers. I realized that many times I would cut myself to relieve the mental anguish within myself. “Do you satisfy your stress or is it just an easy fix?” I didn’t speak. I cautiously took a step back.

She disappeared before my eyes and I began darting all over for where she could have gone. I turned around and she was behind me. “If you were planning on running, you are not to good at it. You are curious yet conservative. You hate telling people who care for you how you really feel for yourself but yet, you tell everyone else that it is horrible not to be blunt. Do you enjoy contradicting yourself, or maybe it is just second nature.” I backed into the clearing and then I tripped over something that lied on the ground and there I saw it.

Before my eyes were a shining light, as if heaven had released it’s warmth in the clearing. The clearing seemed to be full of unusual things that wouldn’t normally appear in such a terrain. I then slowly rose to my feet and found myself before a large tree. It was a beautiful cherry blossom tree that’s petals seemed to not wilt or fade at all. The grass was enriching and the air was warm to the touch.
“This place is my home and it can be your hideout if you want it to be.” She strolled past me with her hands behind her back. “It is awfully lonely here, not many people visit because of the fence that wards people away.” She looked a bit sad when she said it. “But if you came to talk to me maybe just for an hour or so maybe life wouldn’t seem so boring. I would like to play, let’s be friends.” I glanced at her without a word at first. Those words were so unfamiliar to my ears that it almost seemed like I was being made fun of.

“Friends… you say you want to be friends with someone like me?” I asked holding back the tears readily in my eyes. “You would want to be friends with someone who is a burden? Whose words are like spears being thrown at you?” I wanted to disbelieve the invitation and give her reason to say no but she didn’t.
“You can see me and I chose you because you seem friendly despite you deny it so. I’m sure we can become good friends! Oh, that’s right, I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Sakuya and yours is…”

“Zachary.” I said. The wind began to blow a little and for the first time since I’ve gotten there, I felt a smile appear on my face. The night seemed endless that night but I spent it with her, it seemed like a lifetime worth of new memories. She would be my first friend in this crazy school but hopefully not my last.

The night progressed slowly onwards and then before I knew it, I heard the bell once again symbolizing the start of the first class of the day. I quickly hurried out the forest.

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