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hey ppl, sry i havent done these in a while, but my cousin had a baby and she died at 8 days old and i took monday off to go to the funral and then i have to go to chuck e cheese for thier sons 3rd b/day, he didnt really understand y they couldnt bring home merissa and it was so sad to see them at the hospital, i was really moody on not this friday, but last friday cuz i left the hospital for my youth pastors g/fs house, and it was really fun, we played truth or dare then got tought a game then we went tping and we finished with that at about 4 am, and then we decided to go to walmart. we left walmart at 6 30 and we saw 1 of the girls's mom and step dad there setting up for the craft fair thingy so her mom was askin us all these ?? then we got another 1 of the chicks a hair dying kit and we went back to chickys (my youth pastors g/f) and watched a movie, then went home, so i went from trying not to cry out my eyes to have the most fun ive had in a LONG time. kk, now thats out of the way, all the crap with chris, we got into a huge fight and then he found out that i was starting the fights to stop my self from tellin him that i was cheating on him. and finally a month ago tommorrow i told him, and we havent talked since the day after i told him, and he was tellin me stuff like ill always love you, ill never leave you and he was worried about how i would take a death and i was watchin his web cam at the time and it just looked like he had no hope left in life, i remember him tellin me over and over again that im his last hope, and im the only 1 that he nos that cares if hes alive or dead, and then to find out that the person that u want to spend most of ur life with was cheating on u, i cant even imagine what that would feel like, and i wanna take it back but now that i no that i cant, i just have to live with all of this but the thing that im most worried about is, i dont think that he could live with it, i no that i got this off of sum1s profile on msn, but i showed it to my friend and he told me that i bet thats what he said when he went threw with it, and now im really freakin out, i havent heard nething from him in over 3 weeks, almost 4 and idk what im talkin about, im just rambling at this point, but i really hope that my worst frear didnt come true and thats that he killed him self. all of this is my fault and hes such a great guy, im no where close to the kind of person that he is, and every1 is always tellin me that im a great person.....i just messed up pretty badly.....but, it seems like when ever i get the chance i dont think, so what ive learned from last times, i dont even remember till its done and over. well, if ya havent looked i repsonded y i couldnt talk to him on the phone on the little coment thingy.....so i guess ill let ya go, and sry this is so long, but o well, if ya made it to here, ull live.....i hope......o well, ok, well, i guess c ya later! ad dont forget to leave a coment if ya have nething to say, thanks!
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No more comments... sry confused