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Huzzah
Well, my dad, mom, and me finnaly sat down and talked. Let's just say that my mom hate's my relationship with my dad and asked if we wanted a relationship in the furture. My dad didn't understand why she said that and I simply kept my scilence so that I wouldn't say too many agrivating or stupid things. The truth of the matter is is that he agrivates me whenever he wants without regard to how I might feel about it. Nothing's off limits and he enjoys pissing me off.... Not only that but he was a bit verbally abusive when I was a kid and he doesn't remember a damned thing and he says things to me now that hurt me or anger me simply because I am his kid. He makes me go through things that I dislike imensely (such as rent bills etc.) when I should be able to save money these last few months of highschool. Whatever.. He says it's for my own good. Maybe it is character building I don't know, what I do know is this. I'm going through things that my mind and spirit aren't quite ready for. Not only that I can't handle verbal abuse or someone demanding that it's their way or you get punnished. Anyways, the conversation (if you want to call it that) went along the lines of him saying that I shouldn't blame other people for my problems. O.K. Right. And that I'm not supposed to let something affect me and that I shouldn't care what happens. Stop being hurt by it and ignore it... Right. Sure. I'm supposed to ignore what some sick pervert did to me? He said no. Then he told me that what happens to me is my fault. Then he told me what that guy did to me wasn't my fault. And people wonder why I'm so confused. Anyways, I have to go to counseling and no I'm not giving people the whole story simply because I'm just pouring out the thoughts that's been irratating me. And unfortunately and fortunately my thoughts are mainly fragmented. ... I can't think about this anymore. I don't give a damn and better thoughts come to mind at the moment.
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