I swear i feel so stupid, for wanting to cry over someone that apparently doesn't care to much about me.
You see im at work now, and i had texted Leo this moring asking him if he would like to see a movie tonite, which mind you i thought it would be ok since we basically always have movie nights on Wed. I didn't think that he would text me back so quickly, so i was surprised when i heard his ring tone, well my few seconds of happiness where gone when i read his text
Sorry i cant 2nite. I already have plans
I know i might sound really stupid, but those few words really hurt me. They made me feel so bad. Now the reason for this is because like i said earlier, we have been hanging out every Wed for the past month and a half, and it seemed like it was the day for us to hang out, but i guess that i was wrong. I mean nothing was set in stone, but i really thought that we were getting some where and that things were getting better.
My hands are shaking and i just want to go to a corner and cry away my pain so that i don't have to feel this way anymore, but i cant even do anything because im at work, which really s**ks!!! And i just feel so stupid for getting my hopes up that things were actually getting better. I mean i how can i even believe that he cares for me when he tells me that's he dose when he doesn't even think twice about putting his friends first and not seeing me. I know i should of expected this sooner or later given our history but one cant help put hope.
Anyways here is the rest of the conversation for those that want to see my stupidity for the one i love:
Leo: Sorry i cant 2nite. I already have plans.
Sotari: Ok... I mean its not like we hang out every Wed. or anything... Well i hope u have a great time... Take care and dont drink to much...
Leo: Thanks u 2
Sotari: ty but im not doing anything tonite cuz i... was hoping to see you... But maybe next time... Just take care please...
And thats how it went, and i still feel so silly and stupid about it because i let him get to me and i cant help but letting it happen!!! I just want to become stronger to be able to block the effects that he has on me...
I do feel a lot better after writing this, and he did texted me a few ago that we would see each other soon, but i really dont want to get my hopes to high about that one.
 Sotari_Nasi · Wed Feb 06, 2008 @ 06:26pm · 1 Comments |
