Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Hrmbleflumble.

I feel... Uncertain? I feel like I'm floating right now, instead of treading water. It's nice, but -very- uncertain. I can't control direction... But then I usually can't. I guess I just notice it more now because I'm not fighting so hard to stay afloat. School's basically easy, and things in the social department are lovely.

I wonder why I get so obsessive?

I wish this morning had lasted forever. It was very nice. There was snow, and people were happy.

I hate feeling lame. >.< Actually, I hate being imperfect. It's for weird reasons too. Not because I want to be the best, but because my flaws seem so flaw-like. I don't think I'd want to be around me if I were someone else. The only reason why I get along with myself now is I know what my intentions are. I wish people were just a little bit more similar. I wish it was just a little bit easier to relate.

I've got no homework tonight... I kind of wish my therapy appointment was today. At least I've got Sunday...

Obsessive.

Okay, self. That's not very nice.
NEGATIVE SELF TALK. That's what I'm supposed to stop. And yet, I still do it. There's a fine line between liking yourself too much and liking yourself enough.

Hellzyes.

Just felt like saying that. XD
I'm actually sort of thinking the opposite of 'hellzyes' right now, but oh wellll. Good music is calmy!

I'm listening to it right now!
I think I'll go out tonight... Maybe. Iunno. Hm.
There's a thing at my church, but if I'm not quite positive about my religion, might not be the best thing to do.

I wonder why I worry so much.

I also wonder how long people can read when I write. If anyone gets to this point, lemme know.

So I called a few people, and decided that I'mma stay home tonight. =/ It's somehow calming to -


Ouch. I just got hit with a bit wave of "you're-not-worth-anything." I hate those.

PUH.

I feel like exploding.





Okay, a little better now. I still worry too much.

I wish I could be chill, like you seem to be. Or at least appear to be chill.
My tongue is burning. >.< I can't spell tongue without looking. XD

Hrmm. I guess I'll go. <33 you. Especially you, person-who-knows-who-they-are.
Sorry if I made you frustrated earlier. =/
But.

Really.


I'm going now.



Bai.