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It was interesting at least...
I was at the touch pools, and she was standing in front of me, asking what stuff was...
Her calm blue eyes showed me that she already knew, and was just asking to keep the conversation going.

I wonder... did she intend to break up with me all this time?
perhaps she just took a break...
3 months is a long time, I was almost sure she had clearly dumped me.

I got a haircut... so maybe she didn't recognize me...
My long wavy black hair became this short brown spiky s**t.
i'll have to take a picture one day...

I wish she had taken me back to where she was from.
it would've been fun...
I'd leave this dull life, and lead a new one.
But sadly, all I have is time.
My mind stirs... starts... and...
I asked god to kill me the other day.

It was interesting at least, "God, if you're out there, kill me".
Nothing happened.
"If you exist, end this sufferring of mine".
same as before.
"End my life... For I am too weak to do it myself!"
and nothing happened.
"Perhaps it is YOU who is the weak one god, If you so exist, Smite me with your might! and end this wretched life."
I'm still alive.
This proves to me that god doesn't exist. or at least has no power over that which he hath created, as the deists believe.

Reminds me of the man who cut down the tree sacred to Zeus, which supposedly would smite those who cut it with lightning... nothing happened to him either.

Ironic... his threat on god was in bravery and faith.
Mine was in pitifulness and weakness.

I told her that I would die without her...
I doubt i'll last much longer.