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I'm bored so I am posting some more of my funnies. 3nodding

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You know you've hit rock bottom when you've been mocked by a hamster.

I'd graduated from a deer in headlights, to a bunny-rabbit with a bad leg on a shuttle-field.

"Wear it or the katana dies."

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"Why me?" He said piteously.

"First Voldemort, then my relatives, and then the world, and then Fudge, and then the cauldron, and then this stupid bed!" He banged it with his fist.

"Owwww!"

Dumbledore and Snape raised an eyebrow in synchronization.

"See! Proof! They're all out to get me!"-Harry after having a bad day and FINALLY cracking blaugh

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Ladies and Gentlemen ((the four people hanging round the fic look up)) rest easy for the evil cricket has been killed.....by several reviewers.... and a couple of my friends..... and my pet chicken.

((several cricket begins chirping) Darn it ((hangs head)) it had heirs.(where I got my cricket Idea from 3nodding )
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Ron rolled his eyes, "Yes, very funny, ha ha. Seriously, how are we going to find the ring in this huge vault?"

Harry looked around the vault then looked at Ron. "Good question. It's not like we can ask "where is the ring to block dark marks?" and poof a light will show us where it's at."

A bright light flash towards the back of the vault and Harry looked over at Ron in shock, "No way."
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"Ah, but he's a Weasley, and they are, of course, the gift that God gave the wizarding world." Draco sneered delicately in their direction as Harry laughed quietly. The irony wasn't lost on him.

"If they're the gift God gave the wizarding world, then bloody hell, what did we do to piss Him off so much?"(don't take this wrong, i just thought it was funny)

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The Jarvey is a smallish mammal which resembles a ferret, although it has the unusual ability of speech. It is useless trying to talk to a Jarvey, however, as it cannot hold a true conversation and limits its output to a constant stream of rude and abusive phrases. Jarveys eat rats, moles and voles, which presumably they insult before consumption.
(it reminded me of Draco - an overgrown ferret that insults people)

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"Are you ok, Severus?" Harry asked.

Severus just waved one pale hand, as if to brush away the comment. Still, try as hard as he might, the laughter only managed to seep through. Soon, the older man was collapsed in his chair, laughing out loud with tears streaming down his face.

"Moony?" asked Sirius, staring in fear at Severus.

"Yes, Padfoot?" replied Remus.

"Am I dead?"

"No."

"Has hell frozen over?"

"I think it just might have, Padfoot."
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"So you are telling me that this is the Devine idea of evening the odds."

"Yes Severus that is correct."

"The Devine is crazy."

"That is correct Severus."

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Yes, there IS actually a plot here. It's buried under that last page of crap somewhere ... wait, just let me look for it ... AHA! Got it! *gasp* OH NO, THE PILE'S COMING DOWN ON ME! EEK! *runs away*
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"God must have loved stupid people."

"And why is that?"

"Cause he made so damn many of them."

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and now I've ran out of funnies crying .Must find more twisted . UMM carry on sweatdrop *waves off reader*