I'm a silly girl. I imagined things would be perfect, even accounting for all the problems we would've encountered. I thought we could face them together, and work through them...it was foolish of me to think that way. I should've taken your words for what they were - words, nothing more - and moved on with my life.
But instead I clung to silly things, kept reminders of you, thought of you constantly. No more than a few minutes can pass without you wandering through my thoughts at least once. I imagine myself talking to you, laughing at the silly things you say and trying in turn to make you laugh.
I should force myself to gather the shards of myself and move forward with my life. I should take that first step, because I know that things will get easier. I should...and I can't. I'm so afraid of that first step, of moving even further away from you...it's bad enough that I've shut myself away from you as much as I have, when I want nothing more than to throw myself at you.
So instead I keep the things that I shouldn't - the notes you wrote on, the water bottle you left when you visited, the memories...and I hide them, hoping that maybe, there will be reason for having them.
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Exodus
Here in the shadows I'm safe, I'm free...
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Strawberry Gashes
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