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Just to Get It Out (To:You, From:Me) |
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This is not to bash my bf, but to just let out some feelings. Why I'm doing this on Gaia I have no idea, but....hey...if not here then where?
He's heard most of this stuff a million times, so I really hope he doesn't read it and et offended....if you do read this, I'm sorry, just getting out some worrying.
Always hoping you'll stay with me forever, but constantly thinking you'll leave me for someone better looking or more intelligent. Wishing that you're not shallow and just into looks, but realizing that you're a guy. Its hard to tell if you're different from the others. Its hard to believe that you really love me, I've been told that before, it was a lie. You could be like any other guy. So desperate for sex or a girlfriend, or anything in that area, that you'll tell me anything. And will you stop telling me that once you get what you want? Once I've slept with you, will you just turn over, look at me, and say, "I don't love you anymore." Are you just using me for someone that I'm close to? Becuase I'm usually not the girlfriend, but the connection that will get you to that girl that you want to really be with. Scared to death, wishing that I could just give up...but I don't let myself. Because there's a side of me that says to me, " Gosh dammit, you're not going to give up. You're going to make him realize, that if he leaves you, he'll be missing out. Missing out on such a great girl, such an awesome person. You're going to make your self his favorite hello and his hardest goodbye. And if he thinks you were a mistake, then gosh dammit, make yourself his favorite!!" Always thinking you're going to leave me, but hoping you'll stay forever. I'm not going to let my bad attitude and my pessimist thoughts get in the way of me keeping one of the greatest boyfriends and guys to have ever been friends with me. I guess you're worth my time and dedication... wink lol just kidding, you are so worth it. You know who you are.
P.S. I love you
 Angel-of-Night1790 · Mon Mar 31, 2008 @ 04:34am · 3 Comments |
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