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Let’s see where do I start? Well at this point some people would say I have a great one I met up with chick, that I went all the way with this one girl I just met 6 hours ago or maybe I found this girl I really like and I think she may be the one, and also my favorite me and my girl friend have this great thing going one she likes everything I like and we talked about getting married for like almost 2 hours and I think it might happen…..But I don’t have one of those I can’t really say anything about my love life, mostly because I don’t have one. I believe the closest thing I had to one was when a girl gave me her phone number but you will see why I didn't call her. I still haven’t met that girl, the girl that I walk by on the street and think wow she’s cute. (And I am not gay for those idiots reading.)…Don’t get me wrong I sometimes hope that the next girl that walks in is the right one or something like that... stare I even get a little, a little jealous when I see nothing, but couples around me when I’m working, No the feeling is more like happiness mixed with sadness…(I really don’t like that feeling, but I am happy for them.)It’s not like that women don’t hit on me, women of different color and sizes hit on me (Yes I like women of any color, but I do have to say I like shorter and/or tougher women more.) but most are married or drunk and the rest say they are about to dump their boyfriend or girlfriend and (yes lesbians do hit on me..) and you can only guess how that ends…at the time it’s really awkward to speak to them. stare A lot of where I speak to people is at work (There are time when I think of self pleasure, but I really really don’t like that Idea it’s just too weird anyways enough said on that area.) Porn….. mmmmm I don’t like it and a lot of people disagree with me, believe me I know, they all told me. but I stick by what I believe in and my likes and dislikes. I had only to girlfriends out of my life. (I know what you’re thinking nah he’s only counting the serious ones or hah only two man that sucks for him. Yes I’m only counting the serious ones and even if I did count in none serious ones I only had two girlfriends out of my life so no matter how small the relationship I would count them all. I just have been fortunate enough to have to two long term serious relationships…) I still keep in touch with them both after we broke up. X Girlfriend b: said this when we broke up and I kinda figured she would, all she really needed was some one to help her with life, “You came to me in bad time and helped me when I needed someone the most, I think of you as a brother (explains why she stop kissing me on the last two dates lol kissing a relative, gross) It was like I died and was reborn, I’ll miss your hugs.”(I really felt different when I got hugged or kiss mostly because it one of the few ones I got in my life from another person, more like the only ones... eek crap I never really notice it till now, but those are the only ones. I got only 15 hugs and 8 kisses from her. Only if you don't include cyber kisses and hugs. Explains why it hurts a little when I see someone kissing or hugging, anyways.) And she was different the day we broke up Her heart didn't skip a beat and she said "thank you for everything" I could tell she was different, more like a new person . Of course me trying to be the cool silent guy said "cool so lets just say the girl known as such and such took her life in a car crash.... Yes I just had to say something corny like be strong or else you'll end up like the loser in the car crash and hugged her. Her parents really like me enjoy my company and knew I was cool with the brake up… The latest update I got was when I got a call a month ago saying I was invited to her wedding I decline because my own problems, but I wished her the best. In case you're wondering I only date girls my age or 2 maybe 3 years younger. Her and I both was seventeen when we dated…………X Girlfriend A: her and I still keep in contact….. We didn’t see eye to eye on somethings well mostly one thing. There were times when she was smart, angry, nice, ugly but so beautiful at the same time. I think she has the potential to be greater than great and I thought she was way out of my league she actually is, but don't tell her that. but it was a long distance thing so I didn’t blame her…Kind of blame myself because I wasn’t able to keep a promise (I really really hate it when I can’t keep a promise. stare ) Anyway I am glad I had the relationships that I had, I learned a lot from them and they both think of me as someone close I guess thats good enough. Sometimes it looks like I am just learning about life……..Back to the present. Now there are times when *coughs* males hit on me and I have to say really really not gay I treat them with respect and say "no, not that way" but I don't curse them out. But for some reason people do feel like coming out to me. Really the rest of the people who aren't in the category above comes sits down and talks to me after a few min they come out about their sexuality to me and this includes women who dates women stare . Now the old people just comes up to me and talk, it's just a little weird they just come up and talk to me. (If any of you seen ghost in the shell, it's kinda like what happen to hideo kuze but not as spontaneous.) Anyways back to love life. I do sometimes think I will die alone that really doesn’t scare me. Heck I do sometimes stay awake at night watching Please Teacher trying to find out what it feels like to love someone and/or hug and kiss them ugg, I do forget sometimes how that feels. (If anybody would like I could up load it on gaia if you want.)The part that scares me is what kind of girl will I meet or maybe I already met and missed her a shadow over there, a voice over here, standing right there, maybe never of here....I get over it, I guess. There are sometimes I do think about getting back together with one of my X's, but I doubt they feel the same way they moved on, found who they want to be with. I'll find mines one day I hope sweatdrop . (especially X Girlfriend B lol she's married) …... Well that’s it I really got nothing else to say, good day…….. (Yes I am a virgin and it’s by choice, I could have easily gotten laid or what ever you guys want to call it when no strings are attach or one night stand at age 12 and 20 times each year after that age, at least. why not you ask? Well I want to be different and plus I'm trying to learn how to be a human not a beast.)
 b.l.Tiger · Tue Apr 01, 2008 @ 08:35pm · 1 Comments |
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